Have you ever had a teacher do something unacceptable?

amother

cornflower

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 9:36 am

We had a high school teacher who gave a quiz every week. Her tests were getting harder and harder, and one week, my friend "Chani" (who sat in front of me) and I decided uncharacteristically that we weren't going to make ourselves crazy studying for it. Whatever we would get is what would be. We were probably the most studious, conscientious students in the class but we were sick of studying for hours for a crazy hard quiz.

When we got the quiz back, my test paper had a failing grade written on it together with the following message: Please look at Chani's test for remarks since her grade was similar to yours.

She then called us both out of the classroom and said, "I see that you and Chani had similar grades, and you sit right near each other. Is there anything you want to say?"

She was basically implying that we had cheated on our tests and shared answers. We looked at each other and had to hold back our laughter. For G-d's sake we both failed!!! And she was picking on the two biggest goody-goodys in the class! She was so off target with her accusation that it was odd.We realized then that there was something off there, and stayed as far as we could from her for the rest of the year...

amother

Beige

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 10:53 am

amother [ White ] wrote:

I think when it comes to jobs in which one has power over others, everyone needs to recognize that the job will attract the types of people who abuse power. There are plenty of heroic doctors, police officers and teachers, but even a handful of abusers is too much.

I agree. And I also want to say that I have kids in HS already and they all had wonderful teachers!! Yes, some were better than others but never heard of any of these type of stories! Ever!
Some of the posts here are real insanity. How sad!! I Can’t believe these teachers/ principals are masquerading as normal people!! In my mind they must have a big elephant nose and a hard tail and a horn coming out of their head!
But they obviously look like a regular me and you- just unbelievable!
I’m Davening harder today for continued protection for all my offspring!!

groisamomma

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:24 am

Notsobusy wrote:

My dd showed me yesterday that she got a 5/10 on her Chumash quiz, because her teacher takes off 5 points if you didn't review the night before and she didn't review. She told me that she usually only gets 2 points taken off, because she usually does review the work, but not for long enough to make this teacher happy. (They have to write on each quiz how long they reviewed it for)

I'm a little confused, I thought I'm sending her to school to learn, not to have homework at night. Teachers always make it sound like they only give homework to help the kids retain the material. B"H she can retain the material without extra review time, why is this a problem?

We have teacher conferences next week so I'm going to discuss this with her then. Some of these teachers baffle me.

In this case, your DD's grades do not reflect her mastery of the material. Instead, they are a reflection of her response to a stupid policy which should really be tailored according the needs of individual students, which in this case is useless for her.

I would be furious. My child's transcript should show her academic achievements. The social/behavioral side of the report card can indicate that she isn't following classroom rules (even on that I would make a fuss here because this rule is unreasonable).

BTW, stay away from the part about sending her to school to learn, etc. You have a valid point but it detracts from the issue here, which is that she should not be forced to spend time on something she already knows.

amother

Khaki

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 11:57 am

We had a sub leave our 9th grade classroom, saying she doesn't forgive our entire class until we ask for mechila ( for the aveirah of not being so attentive in her class which she somehow took very personally) of course we didnt!
6 yrs later, our class was suffering different tzaros.
We tracked her down, to get her mechilla.
Her blood was still boiling as if she just got hurt this minute & didn't even want to forgive first.
After she forgave us, the yeshuos started coming.

Chayalle

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 12:02 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

I'm a school based therapist and once walked into a classroom to find the teacher humiliating a four year old who had an accident. I marched myself into the early childhood director's office and let her know about it, but she's still teaching there and probably still humiliating kids who have an accident Crying

I still remember being in Kindergarten, and a classmate of mine had an accident. The teacher slapped her on the face.

One of my kids once had an accident in school. She came home cheerfully wearing a dress that was at least two sizes too big for her (she was a tiny child, I don't blame them for not stocking her size), with her clothes in a bag for the wash and a note to please return the change of clothes washed. I felt so bad for my little darling (probably due to my memories from when I was young) but my child seemed no worse for the wear. She said the Morah sent her to the nurse who gave her a taffy and a change of clothes, no big deal.

amother

Khaki

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 12:04 pm

My classmate got expelled from school in 11th grade for the aveirah of wearing a straight skirt on Pesach on the street. A random man from the kehilla, the school is associated with, saw her like that.
Her parents begged for her to be taken back to finish the year. She brought that suit to principal to show. She had sewn it in school with making it 2 sizes bigger than she is so it shouldn't be tight. Principal saw nothing wrong with it. She was taken back but principal made sure to talk to us, that we shouldn't be friends with her, so we chas v'sholom don't learn from her bad ways.

amother

Beige

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 12:30 pm

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

I think this comes to show that kids can also be cruel, not just teachers.
We all have to have a heart and work on our middos.

amother

Red

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 5:40 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

I think this comes to show that kids can also be cruel, not just teachers.
We all have to have a heart and work on our middos.

In 7th or 8th grade I had a long-term sub. Principal called me out of class on a Friday and told me, in a really nice way, that the sub is a human. She will go home and the whole shabbos think that she can't control the class and shell think of herself as a failure. I was the worst behaved until then. After that, I was probably close to the best!

amother

Red

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 5:54 pm

When I was in 5th grade, my father was niftar. During Shiva I struggled a lot when my classmates came. I wanted to sit upstairs with the grown ups, as I understood what a loss I had, and I wasnt interested in playing games, but otoh my classmates didn't really care about what a special person my father was. The first few classmates that came, saw pictures of my father and talked to me, probably just about school.
One classmate came, and I remember who it was, but I don't hold it against her, we were 10 years old! She asked if we can go to the basement to play a game. I did, although as we were playing I felt like I was doing the wrong thing. I'm sitting Shiva, for heaven's sake! I don't even want to play a game! I had probably 500 emotions going through me. It was probably the 5th day of Shiva, yet the first time I went away from the adults. My teacher came in then, came down to the basement and started telling me oy nebbach, you're such a young kid that you're even playing games when your father died. I was so hurt, taken aback, and was really upset at her. PS the rest of the year, if I ever said I don't know the test, she told me to take it home and do it at home with an open book. Others asked her if they can also, and she said no. She was really good at making me feel like worlds biggest nebbach case, because I didn't already feel like that by losing my father at age 10

amother

Mustard

Thu, Dec 12 2019, 8:37 pm

I don't think you can Trump this. D's teachers daughter has been telling her whole class all about the kids in her mothers class with names and real info. I found out from a close family member in her class who was able to tell me all the secrets of my son's class....When she found out we were related the girl told this family member that ds is "the most annoying child in the class her mother hates him".
BH he is not in her class mostly as he gets lots of extra help and is out of class most of the day...and I did speak to the principal whom I guess said something as bh it finally stopped for now ...

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Dec 13 2019, 11:45 am

In 3rd grade my teacher offered us a big reward if we would memorize al hanisim for chanuka. I thought I could do it because I was good at these things but no one else in the class dared to try. I practiced for days and days, towards the end of the paragraph was difficult for me but the night before I was to be tested, the words swam in my head all night as I tried to sleep. When I woke up that morning, I was sure I knew it 100% and eagerly went off to school. I had the whole morning english classes to keep it straight in my brain till the Hebrew afternoon teacher came.
During benching from lunch, we had to say al hanisim, I think it was the first day of chanuka. It was a tiny school and we all benched together. I was so excited about saying al hanisim since I'd worked so hard to memorize the entire thing. I figured I'll test myself one more time during benching to make sure I still know it.
As my little 9 yr old self is sitting there concentrating with all my might on remembering the words in order, I didnt notice my principal coming and standing behind me. She proceeded to yell at me for not looking inside and said I should come to her office after lunch to be tested on al hanisim because there's no way I could know it by heart and I should have been looking inside, etc etc.
By the time she was done yelling at me and my brain returned from its frozen state, benching was pretty much over and I was left with guilt for not benching from lunch. And embarrassment for being singled out in the lunchroom.

I didnt go to her office after lunch, she forgot about it and was busy with other stuff.
Not the worst story but it's always stayed with me. You never know why a child does what he does. Dont accuse or lecture. ASK. LISTEN to what the child says. Have a conversation. Share different or better options.
I never liked or respected the principal after that and I was only in 3rd grade. Sending a child to the principal's office for not looking inside a bentcher? Embarrassing her in front of her class? Major overkill.
The funny thing is that my class was smirking because they knew I had it all memorized.
In the end I did get tested by my teacher that afternoon and I knew it perfectly. I dont remember the big reward, probably a sticker or something. The best reward anyway was knowing it by heart and I still do. Smile

Its come in handy over the years.
So the lesson to look inside while saying it- failed because 30 years later I'm still not looking inside. The principal could have saved her breath and her anger for something else. Lessons dont get taught through embarrassment and negativity.

amother

Teal

Fri, Dec 13 2019, 3:42 pm

In first grade I told my class that I gave birth to a doll and her name is Honey. I even backed it up by citing the location of the birth, "around the corner of my house".... It was a bit of stretching the truth, because I had indeed owned a doll Honey...Well, the girls "told on me" to the teacher, who in her utmost stupidity punished me to spend the day in a parallel class in the grade for inappropriate talk...

Dummy, if you would had just left it at that, it would be silly child imagination. For being punished, I had to investigate what was so inappropriate about giving birth to a doll that deserved punishment, that for the rest of my childhood I made it a mission to uncover the truth. Until finally in 6th grade I got hold of my mother's pregnancy book and got the whole education outright...

Come on, I was just a first grader!

amother

Brown

Sat, Dec 14 2019, 5:54 pm

1. My principal opened all girls mail (we were in a dorm) because he was afraid we were
up to no good. It was run like the KGB. We were not allowed to talk to the phone unless a staff member was with us. They searched mine and other girls rooms regularly for incriminating things like DVDs and non jewish music. They also called in girls and asked them to rat on other girls. If the girl gave good information, she was given privileges bh y the administration. After I left the principal told me he would make it his business that I never get married because I was speaking Lashon hara about him. I was 14.

2. I had a non jewish teacher in 10th grade (diff school) that was 25. He would flirt with the girls. He owned a truck and would joke "want to come in my bed?" Weirdly, the girls liked him. He was very casual. He sat on his desk and would rant about his opinions on womens rights and equality instead of teach his material. He was fired.

3. Next non Jewish teacher had major anger management problems. She would scream at us for minor problems. She also was constantly eating candy bars in class. Once she came to school without the dress code (thank top and shorts). She fell in love with another teacher there and they got married. Was just weird