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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Have you ever had a teacher do something unacceptable?
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 3:10 pm
People talk about the bravery and tenacity of BTs for overcoming a non-religious background but I think that anyone of you who are still frum after suffering at the hands of such vicious monsters, deserve an even bigger portion of Gan Eden. I hope that the vicious monsters do tshuva because cruel people apparently don't get too much in the next world.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 4:20 pm
southernbubby wrote:
People talk about the bravery and tenacity of BTs for overcoming a non-religious background but I think that anyone of you who are still frum after suffering at the hands of such vicious monsters, deserve an even bigger portion of Gan Eden. I hope that the vicious monsters do tshuva because cruel people apparently don't get too much in the next world.


My thoughts exactly

I have new found respect for peoole who endured the stories on this thread and remained frum
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amother
Puce


 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 5:02 pm
Too many terrible stories that happened to me personally, I can't even type them, they still hurt too much.

Some of those things still hurt today and definitely impacted many parts of my life.
I was not an easy kid, but I was definitely not an evil kid or someone who did things davka. I wonder if any of those teachers realized how much damage they each did.

I had a terrible Homelife, was put down endlessly by my parents. We didn't always have supper or enough to eat. instead of school being my oasis, it was just another place to be tortured.

I tried so hard!!!! I remember trying to do homework, very very large family, kids all over. I really tried to make my clothes look normal,learnign to iron when very young, despite never having the right size/clean and of course never new clothes.

I think many times abused kids are perfect targets for adults that are not good people despite being "Teachers" "Principals" "Rebbis" etc.

It has taken a lot of therapy and self help to overcome my horrendous childhood.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 5:20 pm
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
Too many terrible stories that happened to me personally, I can't even type them, they still hurt too much.

Some of those things still hurt today and definitely impacted many parts of my life.
I was not an easy kid, but I was definitely not an evil kid or someone who did things davka. I wonder if any of those teachers realized how much damage they each did.

I had a terrible Homelife, was put down endlessly by my parents. We didn't always have supper or enough to eat. instead of school being my oasis, it was just another place to be tortured.

I tried so hard!!!! I remember trying to do homework, very very large family, kids all over. I really tried to make my clothes look normal,learnign to iron when very young, despite never having the right size/clean and of course never new clothes.

I think many times abused kids are perfect targets for adults that are not good people despite being "Teachers" "Principals" "Rebbis" etc.

It has taken a lot of therapy and self help to overcome my horrendous childhood.


I feel like crying reading this. I hope you are doing well and have found happiness.
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 8:45 pm
Quote:
Six months into school, my 12th grade egotistical nut job of a chumash teacher asked me if I just got glasses. I was shocked into dumbfounded silence. I had been wearing the same pair all year. There were a total of 19 girls in the class. After she died, the school created this ongoing honor in her name and that's when I stopped giving them money.


amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Sorry if I sound insensitive but I’m trying to understand , is that all she did or was there anything else?
Just because it’s kind of my type also as I’m not the observant type. I can see it happening to me. But it wasn’t me! (I don’t teach Chumash)
ETA:
And BH I’m alive, till 120!
(Just read your post again)
Definitely a lesson to me to be more careful!


I had the same question!

I might be missing something, but for this she's called an "egotistical nut job"? And should be disrespected after she died???
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amother
Oak


 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 8:51 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
We had a sub leave our 9th grade classroom, saying she doesn't forgive our entire class until we ask for mechila ( for the aveirah of not being so attentive in her class which she somehow took very personally) of course we didnt!
6 yrs later, our class was suffering different tzaros.
We tracked her down, to get her mechilla.
Her blood was still boiling as if she just got hurt this minute & didn't even want to forgive first.
After she forgave us, the yeshuos started coming.


I to this day remember the students who humiliated me as a sub, but I wish no evil upon them. (And they did a lot worse than "not pay attention.")

I did have a couple students ask me for mechila for how they acted in my class, which was a mixture of nice and humiliating. In one case a student who is now married and a mother asked HER mother to apologize to me, which she did in a public gathering. Thank you for announcing to a crowd that I couldn't control a high school class 15 years ago!
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amother
Copper


 

Post Sat, Dec 14 2019, 9:27 pm
I always wonder if I should have gone to the principal or spoken up. Years ago, my DD was in second grade and one day she came off the bus visibly shaken and I knew something had gone wrong from her whole demeanor. She forgot to take her pencil case out of her cubby in time for class so her punishment was that when the class went down to lunch, she had to stay upstairs and eat her lunch in the classroom by herself. No teacher or assistant was there, and the entire floor was empty except for the secretary sitting at the end of the hallways in her office. I don't know if the secretary was asked to keep an eye on my child but she wasn't in the classroom with her and it seemed excessive to have a 7 year old sitting by herself in an empty room on an empty floor for the entire lunch period.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 2:43 am
When I was in pre1A I was selective mute. My teacher gave arts n crafts to the whole class and purposely skipped me because she wanted to force me to talk. I was just standing and waiting while the whole class did the project. We were all standing around her desk. Then after a while of waiting I just went to sit down by my desk and was very humiliated. She then made a comment of me just standing and staring and called me back and gave me the arts n crafts. A different teacher said whoever will daven nicely will get a sticker. I never sang with everyone because I didn't talk. She gave everyone a sticker and when I held out my hand to get one she said no you can't get because you don't daven. It was hard enough for me that I couldn't sing along with everyone I couldn't understand why she had to make it harder for me.
When I was older maybe 4th grade we had a sub. She came into class after recess and for some reason decided to punish me. I had no clue why. She took me to an empty room somewhere at the end of the floor and sat me down there with my math book and told me which page to do. Luckily I am good at math and it wasn't so terrible for me to do it. But she didn't tell me how long to sit there after I was done. I didn't know if I'm allowed to go back to class or wait till she comes. I ended up going back after debating with myself what to do. Then she was upset I didn't wait for her there and gave me another page to do for homework.
In camp we were playing hit the deck and nobody wanted to stand by the deck. My counselor said whoever stands by the deck gets a prize. She had a bag of prizes. I wanted a prize and went to stand by the deck. Then I got out because I was standing there. I went to ask for my prize and she said she didn't see me standing by the deck. So I said how did I get out then. She didn't see me getting out either. She refused to give me a prize but I still had to be out. Was very unfair because everyone ended up getting a prize besides for me.
I was a very nerdy kid (I was shy and didn't talk much and schmooze with the girls) and girls picked on me. Some girls would take things away or hurt me and I never cried I would just defend myself and fight back and then the other kid would cry. Then the counselor always saw a girl and me fighting and the other girl crying. I got a name as the girl who bullied everyone and made everyone cry when in reality I was the one being picked on first. Whenever there was any fight between me and another kid I was automatically blamed and it was my fault.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 3:34 am
This isn't specifically about what someone did wrong, but more about what they could've done right, but didn't.
I was really cheerful and happy as a young kid, always focused on the positive, always smiling. My principal once told my mother by PTA that she loves to always see a big smile on my face. Fast forward a few years to when I was in 4th or 5th grade, my mother came to pick me up from school once and we met the principal on the way out. She told my mother that I have an additude issue because she doesn't see my bright smile so often anymore. I felt really humiliated because I really hadn't done anything to be labeled with an additude issue. I was respectful of my teachers, did my work, etc. - so I wasn't walking around with a smile all the time? I wish that instead of saying that, she would try to find out why I'm not walking around smiling. Maybe she could have saved me from years of being abused at home, which had started sometime around then.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 4:44 am
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I always wonder if I should have gone to the principal or spoken up. Years ago, my DD was in second grade and one day she came off the bus visibly shaken and I knew something had gone wrong from her whole demeanor. She forgot to take her pencil case out of her cubby in time for class so her punishment was that when the class went down to lunch, she had to stay upstairs and eat her lunch in the classroom by herself. No teacher or assistant was there, and the entire floor was empty except for the secretary sitting at the end of the hallways in her office. I don't know if the secretary was asked to keep an eye on my child but she wasn't in the classroom with her and it seemed excessive to have a 7 year old sitting by herself in an empty room on an empty floor for the entire lunch period.


As a parent, we should always go to bat for our children, unless you see the punishment as mild and fair. If a child comes home traumatized, get on your broomstick, put on your witch hat, and traumatize whoever mistreated your child.
One of my kids credits the fact that the kid is now a frum adult, on the way I relentlessly fought for them. Another mother, who always sided with the school, regrets it now because her children are not frum.
Some of these schools still have dysfunctional sadists from the olden days and if your kids are being harmed, you have to stop being nice. Nice guys finish last.
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creditcards




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 7:24 am
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
This isn't specifically about what someone did wrong, but more about what they could've done right, but didn't.
I was really cheerful and happy as a young kid, always focused on the positive, always smiling. My principal once told my mother by PTA that she loves to always see a big smile on my face. Fast forward a few years to when I was in 4th or 5th grade, my mother came to pick me up from school once and we met the principal on the way out. She told my mother that I have an additude issue because she doesn't see my bright smile so often anymore. I felt really humiliated because I really hadn't done anything to be labeled with an additude issue. I was respectful of my teachers, did my work, etc. - so I wasn't walking around with a smile all the time? I wish that instead of saying that, she would try to find out why I'm not walking around smiling. Maybe she could have saved me from years of being abused at home, which had started sometime around then.

Did you hear the principal saying that?
Is it possible she mentioned to your mother that she doesn't see you smiling all the time anymore and asked if anything is going on and your mom interpreted it that way and told you that?
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amother
Pink


 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 8:03 am
creditcards wrote:
Did you hear the principal saying that?
Is it possible she mentioned to your mother that she doesn't see you smiling all the time anymore and asked if anything is going on and your mom interpreted it that way and told you that?

No, I was there. She said it to my mother, but looked at me when she said it- like she was trying to criticize me without addressing me directly.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 10:54 am
My only to reaction to this thread other than hugs to all these posters, is that I hope teachers are reading these posts and realize what implications their actions carry, for good and for bad.
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creditcards




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:16 am
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
No, I was there. She said it to my mother, but looked at me when she said it- like she was trying to criticize me without addressing me directly.


Terrible!! No words!
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