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Forum -> Working Women -> Work at Home Mothers
I can't work if DH texts me every 20 minutes!!!!



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:19 pm
How do I say this nicely?

I work at home as a graphic designer, and I contribute at least 50% of our income.

DH's job is flexible.

He texts me so much!!!

"Did you find a therapist for DD?"

"Should I pick up pizza for supper?"

"Did you give maaser from the $2,000 you put in last week?"

"Would you please find out xys from your Facebook friends..."

etc, etc, etc,

I think it's rude to ignore him for more than a few minutes, when he knows that I don't have clients over that day, and am working alone. But it ruins my focus and concentration!!! And sometimes I have a quick question that I want to text him!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:23 pm
Why don't you let him know that you're finding you get too distracted lately with texts (in general, not specifically from him) and it really kills your productivity. Let him know that you may not answer for half hour or so, since you're trying to look at your phone less, and if there's ever an emergency and you don't respond, he should just call you...
This can be just a general FYI conversation, and not hurtful in any way, just about you trying to maximize your productivity.
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amother
White


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:23 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do I say this nicely?

I work at home as a graphic designer, and I contribute at least 50% of our income.

DH's job is flexible.

He texts me so much!!!

"Did you find a therapist for DD?"

"Should I pick up pizza for supper?"

"Did you give maaser from the $2,000 you put in last week?"

"Would you please find out xys from your Facebook friends..."

etc, etc, etc,

I think it's rude to ignore him for more than a few minutes, when he knows that I don't have clients over that day, and am working alone. But it ruins my focus and concentration!!! And sometimes I have a quick question that I want to text him!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!


Why do you keep your phone right next to your workspace?. And if it's needed, then why aren't the conversations muted? I don't think it's rude to take time to answer texts, unless they're marked urgent.

You've set up the norm to be to respond within a limited time-frame. It doesn't have to be that way. You need to change that, and let him know that you're changing that.
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:24 pm
'my work hours are 9-3, during that time if its not an emergency text me to a different phone number if its just reminder texts. Anything immediate call.'
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amother
Amber


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:25 pm
This is so funny, I was just thinking the same thing! Are our husbands related ??!!
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amother
Blush


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:30 pm
DH is probably texting you when he thinks of something, so he doesn't forget.

I have an app that I use for lists. I write them there and schedule it to transmit to DH in the a.m. before he gets involved in his day. DH does great with lists. It's not pulling his attention away from something he's involved with. He can manage the list on his schedule.

It works for us.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:45 pm
Put your phone on silent Nd put it away
Tell he you will check it everyday when you take a break but only then so he won’t expect an immediate answer
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 5:46 pm
You can tell him in advance that you get side tracked when you receive texts while you work that you will check your phone once every 3 hours and will respond then. Or check every day at 12 o’clock. Like that you are letting him know he’s not being ignored and that you will make time to read his texts and respond.
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 7:04 pm
I'm like your husband. I text whenever I rmember something so that I shouldnt forget it later. I also understand that my husband doesn't have to read my texts all day. he reads and reaplies when he has time. It's the most normal thing to tell that you'll read and reply when you're not busy working.
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Cheiny




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 7:13 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do I say this nicely?

I work at home as a graphic designer, and I contribute at least 50% of our income.

DH's job is flexible.

He texts me so much!!!

"Did you find a therapist for DD?"

"Should I pick up pizza for supper?"

"Did you give maaser from the $2,000 you put in last week?"

"Would you please find out xys from your Facebook friends..."

etc, etc, etc,

I think it's rude to ignore him for more than a few minutes, when he knows that I don't have clients over that day, and am working alone. But it ruins my focus and concentration!!! And sometimes I have a quick question that I want to text him!!!

HELP!!!!!!!!


Devote 5 minutes to all his texts every few hours. He’ll get the idea.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 7:20 pm
I don't understand this, as a fellow graphic designer, I'm on the clock. I don't look at phone or email. On the hour, usually every hour, I'll check my phone (pausing my clock).
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 7:23 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
DH is probably texting you when he thinks of something, so he doesn't forget.

I have an app that I use for lists. I write them there and schedule it to transmit to DH in the a.m. before he gets involved in his day. DH does great with lists. It's not pulling his attention away from something he's involved with. He can manage the list on his schedule.

It works for us.

What app is it? I think it is something I would be interested in using. Thanks
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 8:12 pm
amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:
I'm like your husband. I text whenever I rmember something so that I shouldnt forget it later. I also understand that my husband doesn't have to read my texts all day. he reads and reaplies when he has time. It's the most normal thing to tell that you'll read and reply when you're not busy working.


This. I think I journal reminders to DH during all day. He may respond only hours later.
If I really need something I Call
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sarahmalka




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 24 2019, 8:50 pm
Maybe he can put all these thoughts in an email to you. One email! He can start a draft of an email, add to it as he thinks of things, and send it later in the day. As far as how to tell him, something like "dear, I like hearing from you and the helpful reminders that keep us both on track and lets me know that you're on top of things too. I love that you keep me in mind. However for my own workflow, I have realized I'm more productive when not interrupted etc etc"
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Chang




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 25 2019, 12:10 pm
Omg that sounds like my husband.
He'll call me as well when I'm at work
" Should I eat pasta or rice for lunch?" Etc etc.
I just say I'm busy and I gtg
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may tulip




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 10:14 am
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
DH is probably texting you when he thinks of something, so he doesn't forget.

I have an app that I use for lists. I write them there and schedule it to transmit to DH in the a.m. before he gets involved in his day. DH does great with lists. It's not pulling his attention away from something he's involved with. He can manage the list on his schedule.

It works for us.


What's the name of the app? We need that too
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:00 am
may tulip wrote:
What's the name of the app? We need that too


I also want, would love to have it for reminders for my boss.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 11:05 am
He probably texts you when he thinks of something so he doesn't forget.

But that doesn't mean you have to respond that minute. Respond during your lunch break. It's fine. That's what you would do if you were in a meeting or at a doctor's office. You'll both get used to it.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Sun, Dec 15 2019, 3:20 pm
That me!
I just mean to share my day with DH bug he also used to get annoyed....
I have times of the day that I work and can't text so it def wasn't all day
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 16 2019, 7:20 am
Honey, I would love to talk to you, but I got so lost talking >I'm now late Sad Urgh hate it, I would rather be talking to you but I must
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