4 yr old is terrified of doctors... Should I worry?

amother

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 5:51 pm

Till around a month ago my 4.5 was great going to the doctor. He easily let the doctor check him and ect... He was even pretty good with shots and cultures - he would stick out his hand/open his mouth for the doctor no problem (sometimes his eyes where a drop teary after but that's it) - better then his two older siblings Smile

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Last month my son had an infection on his foot. The doctor said it needed to be drained. While initially my son easily went on the table to have it done, when it started to hurt, he tried to get away. The doctor had to have me and a nurse hold him down to get it done - it took like 2-3 minutes and he was screaming the whole time.

Since then we went went 3 more times to diff doctors. 1st time he was very nervous - he had a culture done and I was honest that it would hurt little, then he needed another one - where a stick was put in his nose - I told him it shouldn't hurt (I didn't think that would) but he started crying after that it did in the end (I told him I made a mistake I really thought that type of culture wouldn't hurt and I was sorry it did).
2nd time he started crying when we got to the office I had to carry him in. We managed since the doctor only had to look at him and not touch him.
Then yesterday we had a dentist appointment. Was a disaster litterly had to drag him in, he cried the whole time and kept trying to run out. We tried having him sit on my lap, watch a video and ect...nothing worked. The doctor wasn't able to do anything. Then on the way out the doctor said to him I'm just showing mommy one of your teeth so she knows where he should brush well nothing else and he hit and kicked the dentist and cried... The dentist was shocked bec we were there two months ago and he was great. This is not like my son at all he's very sweet and gentle normally.

My question is should I worry? If yes what do I do?? Is this a stage that will likely pass on it's own? (The dentist said I could wait a little longer but eventually he does need to get work done...)

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Dec 24 2019, 7:19 pm

He went through a traumatic experience with doctors. It makes sense for him to be scared, that's an extremely appropriate response - when something is painful or perceived as dangerous, you respond with fear.

My baby, under one year old, had to be cathed for a clean urine culture. It was very painful for her, and whenever that nurse as much as walked into her vision, she would start to cry hysterically. I had to kick him out of the room.

If you want him to feel safe around doctors again, you should explain what happened with the infection and reassure him that it won't happen again. Tell him you will warn if something is going to be painful, and that the doctor is trying to help.

It will probably take a while.

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Dec 25 2019, 7:32 am

Oh, poor baby!!
Of course it's normal.
My 3 year old used to also be totally cool with doctors until his most recent well visit. He was happy going and playing with the toys, but then when I had to undress him, he felt super uncomfortable because everyone else was dressed. He started getting really nervous. And then the nurse gave him 2 shots, and he was absolutely done with it and started screaming and bawling.
Since then, we don't say "doctor" anymore! We say "Belly Man", "Ear Man", "Tooth Man" etc.... depending on what hurts or when he needs a well visit. We also focus on the sticker he'll get at the end when he's done. From before we even step into the office, all I'm repeating is "we're gonna meet the Tooth Man today AND GET A HUGE STICKER! What are you gonna do with your sticker? Which type of sticker do you want? Etc etc more sticker talk". And the whole time in the chair or on the table we just talk about stickers.
I can't say he's cured, but he is definitely calmer going into the office.

(And BTW I'm 24 and I QUAKE at the dentist. I have to focus on holding it together because I'm so terrified. They are scary people, so I totally get your son)