When my 6 yr old DD says to me: "shut your mouth"

chayamiriam

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 12:40 pm

Eventually that 6 year old will smack you back or smake his friends back! What a stupid way to try to teach a child a nice way to speak how about looking into whether the child needs food or sleep or is getting sick. h ou w about just walking away from the child and telling him that we speak nicely or I can't listen!

amother

Peach

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 12:44 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Do people actually encourage their children to speak this way to them? Why is a 6 year old ever telling her mother to shut her mouth even in a "nice" way?

Is a 6-year-old not entitled to ask for quiet, or to tell her mother that she can't listen to a lecture right now?

I can always continue a lecture later, if she needs time to process something or just has heard too much today.

It can be a legitimately communicated desire or need. Depending on the context, I might say, "I'm sorry, I need to finish telling you this now, but then I can let you have your quiet."

Kids are people too.

amother

Green

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 1:35 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

It’s not respectful for a child to tell their parent to stop talking. The respectful thing to do would be for the child to listen to the lecture and then once the mother is done talking go to her room for some quiet time if that’s what she needed or say now may I have some quiet time? It’s not respectful for a child to interrupt a parent at all. Nowadays it’s a regular occurrence in my home included, but not good.

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 1:54 pm

chayamiriam wrote:

my kids have each gotten 1 or 2 snacks in their lifetime, they’ve never hit me back and are not any more aggressive than their peers. I am not saying this is the right way to deal with it- but you are assuming side effects that don’t exist in my case.
Also, checking for underlying causes is a smart idea, but there are redlines that must never be crossed (in my house). Telling a parent “shut up” or similar is where I draw my line. Walking away, not responding, all things I do for milder forms of chutzpah and disobedience.

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 3:32 pm

Sweetheart, in our family we don't use those words because they are not nice. Please try again to say it in a better way.

I'd also like to know who she heard saying it and explain we can learn from everyone, sometimes how to act and sometimes how not to act.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Jan 01 2020, 7:05 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

No actually they are not entitled to speak that way. Based on the torah and based on basic manners. Unless a parent has issues and rambles on for hours why is your child telling you to shut up? Sometimes I'll ask my kid a question and she'll say I'm not in the mood of talking about it now, but telling me to shut up even in nice language? No that's not acceptable. I think I understand why kids today are so out of control. And no I'm not old I am young and only have young kids.