Bochurim and Clean Clothing

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:15 pm

My son is about 15 years old, and chasidish. They are taught to go to the mikve every day. So he changes to fresh clothing at home, then goes to the shul that has a mikve, takes a shower, mikve, and then goes to yeshiva.

I think that clean clothing is meant to be put on after a shower. However, he doesn't want to take along a change of clothing to the mikve, because then he has to shlep it to yeshiva (which is a far walk).

Any suggestions of how others do it?

And then there is the issue of not showering at night. In the winter it's not so bad, but in the summer he also doesn't want to shower at night, claiming 'he will anyways shower in the morning'. I tried explaining to him that the morning shower doesn't help for the night, after a long day of being sweaty and smelly. But he thinks one shower a day is enough.
What do other bochuim do?

If I decide to let it go, when will he get the opportunity to get used to taking showers at night? I don't want poor hygiene should interfere with intimacy after he is married.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:21 pm

It's no big deal to put on the same clothes after he showers. He probably wore it for 1/2 hour.
A shower a day is definitely enough. Some people like to shower in the morning, and some like at night. I don't force my teens to shower, they have to want to themselves.

asmileaday

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:35 pm

Can he shower at night and do only mikvah in the morning?
It's not like he's showering after mikvah to wash off the chlorine stench. He's anyways showering before.

I try to train my sons to shower at night but they still sometimes prefer to shower in the morning. I can't force them. I just tell them how nice and pleasant it is to go to bed smelling fresh.

asmileaday

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:39 pm

The clothing part is no big deal.

If he showers at night it's definitely not a big deal, but even if not, it's fine.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:44 pm

The set up sounds fine to me. My sons do the same.

momy1

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:44 pm

If he showers at night it's definitely not a big deal, but even if not, it's fine.[/quote]

I wish he would shower at night. He showers in the morning, before going into the mikve. (I think it's a rule, u need to shower before going in).

I'm just always thinking about later. These are routines that you get used to. And once married, every man should shower at night.

amother

Plum

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:48 pm

momy1 wrote:

If he showers at night it's definitely not a big deal, but even if not, it's fine.

I wish he would shower at night. He showers in the morning, before going into the mikve. (I think it's a rule, u need to shower before going in).

I'm just always thinking about later. These are routines that you get used to. And once married, every man should shower at night.[/quote]

My husband showers in the morning. If he exercised at night then he will take a shower at night.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:52 pm

My husband showers in the morning and it has never bothered me.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 1:53 pm

OP, DH showers in the morning, that's his preference. I shower at night, that's my preference. As long as he showers regularly he's ok.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 2:03 pm

momy1 wrote:

If he showers at night it's definitely not a big deal, but even if not, it's fine.
I wish he would shower at night. He showers in the morning, before going into the mikve. (I think it's a rule, u need to shower before going in).

I'm just always thinking about later. These are routines that you get used to. And once married, every man should shower at night.

If he's generally a clean kid I wouldn't be terribly worried about his future.
A man that cares about hygiene will shower when he knows it's necessary.
My dh prefers to shower in the morning. But he'll shower at night too if I prefer it or if he himself feels he needs it.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 2:06 pm

He's 15. He showers daily and wears clean clothing. Time to back up and let him be. He's not a little boy anymore.

amother

Smokey

Sun, Jan 05 2020, 5:20 pm

If he does it this way he is totally fine. Some chassidish dorms don't open up the showers daily.
He seems like his hygiene is fine.

Also after wedding they learn to adjust.

My husband showers every morn in mikve but at night he would shower again when needed/wanted etc.

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