Please help me make a decision: WhatsApp or no whatsapp

amother

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 6:49 pm

I don’t have WhatsApp on my phone. I carry another phone which only my family has the number and that has WhatsApp.
Because I don’t have WhatsApp on my phone which my friends have the number I have been left out of so much. Apparently there is a WhatsApp in the neighborhood which I am not part of and I have missed out on lots of stuff going on here. A friend of mine was going through medical treatments and everyone was helping out with driving and dinners and because I wasn’t part of it everyone forgot about me and I felt very embarrassed.

The problem is that I know myself once I get WhatsApp I will be on with so many groups but I just don’t have the time for all of it so I am at a loss of what to do.

thunderstorm

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 6:57 pm

Know your limits. I stick to only my husband, my parents, my sibling chat , my neighborhood and about 3 or 4 friends. That’s it. I barely spend time on WhatsApp. Don’t waste time on it . Wish I as able to limit my imamother usage like that.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 7:28 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

I actually had it for a few years a then got rid of it over a year ago. Wow!! The amount of time it freed up is amazing! I will bli neder never join again

What do you do with that free time?

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 7:35 pm

I don't think it's so hard to limit yourself on WhatsApp. I use it to set up play dates all the time, but am otherwise on only a few chats. My family, DHs family, each of my kids classes has a group which is barely used.
My shul has a group that only admins can post to that I'm on. Otherwise all the neighborhood groups I never joined. Sure I'm left out of some chessed opportunities, but the other 75% of useless things discussed on the chats makes it not worth it to me. I'm not part of any news, sales, shiurim groups... if someone adds me to a group I almost immediately leave
As a poster above stated, I waste way more time on imamother than whatsapp!

amother

Pink

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 7:39 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

I actually had it for a few years a then got rid of it over a year ago. Wow!! The amount of time it freed up is amazing! I will bli neder never join again

I have an idea. Why not get rid of the internet entirely? Think of all the free time you'd have!

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 7:42 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

I actually had it for a few years a then got rid of it over a year ago. Wow!! The amount of time it freed up is amazing! I will bli neder never join again

Im a business owner, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter bh!.... do the math..

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 7:43 pm

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I have an idea. Why not get rid of the internet entirely? Think of all the free time you'd have!

Dh is in middle of his doctorate. He did undergrad, took a year off went to kollel and then went back to school. In that year off we got rid of our wifi completely. And we are regular americans in our 20s IMAGINE THE HORROR

Odelyah

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 7:52 pm

OP I don't have whatsapp. Most but not all the women in my community do. But my friends know I don't have a smartphone, and all the class mothers of my kids' classes know who doesn't have one, so if they send a group chat they always make sure to send a text or email to the couple mothers who don't have whatsapp. I think in my youngest daughter's class I might be the only one who doesn't have it. There's a community email google group that stuff gets posted on besides all the group chats, but some stuff only gets posted on the chats. Do I miss hearing about some things going on? Probably. But I hear about most things, either from the email group or from friends who know I don't have whatsapp so they let me know. And for me the benefits of not having a smartphone/whatsapp far outweigh the downside of occasionally missing hearing about some things (like the weekly deli specials etc.)

OP what I recommend is asking a friend in your neighborhood who has it, to let you know about important things she knows you would want to hear about.

Or even better, maybe you could start a community google group and ask people to also post important info on there too, for you and others without whatsapp. (I assume you're not the only one?)

Ema of 5

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 8:01 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don’t know if anyone has said this, but that doesn’t sound like an “I don’t have WhatsApp”
problem, it sounds like a “my friends don’t know how to keep me in the loop” problem.
As far as being left out, I would get WhatsApp just to avoid this in the future. You don’t have to be active in chats, and you don’t have to be stuck to your phone 24/7

Bleemee

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 8:37 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

Tell us more Very Happy

Did you still have your phone data? How'd you do without Amazon Prime? TMI

tigerwife

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 8:45 pm

I guess it depends on your circles. WhatsApp is far from a time waster for me; I am not part of any groups that aren’t practical (like a neighborhood chat) or family/friends. And on my family/ friends chat, we just chat and not even that often. It is not that different from text. Perhaps I am not extremely social to begin with, so I don’t have a need to chat with people all day?

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 9:06 pm

I cannot understand at all how WhatsApp can take your time up. I do not get it. I have shul group, neighbor group, kids classes groups, and my family groups. Its all tachlis 99% of the time. People get annoyed when others use it as shmooze chats. And its just the easiest way of communicating.

watergirl

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 9:12 pm

tigerwife wrote:

I’m with you. I dont understand the pp who say they spend too much time on whatsapp. Its not a web page, how do you spend time on it? Its just another way to send a text. My notifications are off so I’m not bothered by the dinging. A few friends may message me through whatsapp, a family chat, bikur cholim sign up (not a chat), a neighborhood chat and a neighborhood rummage chat... what else is there? I don't join groups of random people for inspiration or whatever. The neighborhood chat isn't a running conversation, its an info hub.

But I’m also the person who does not get the whatsapp status things that people like to complain about. I think its a certain crowd who gets so caught up in these things.

To each their own.

Flip Flops

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 9:27 pm

Different people have different ways of using whatsapp. Some people I know are on 35 chats and are so busy with it. The people in their lives also are the type to get upset if they see that you saw their message but didn't respond right away.
If you can use whatsapp in limited applications I think that would be great.
Otherwise, (coming from someone who is not on all the chats and is often left out) I think you should articulate these feelings to some of the friends / neighbors / relatives on the chats and ask them to please fill you in because you don't have it. I'm sure they will be more than happy to do so!

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jan 06 2020, 9:33 pm

Honestly I think saying that you won't get WhatsApp but you want to be filled in on the chats is like saying 'Im not talking and I'm not listening and I am choose to have a speech/communication impediment and not so anything about it but of anything is really important let me know". You have to have self control, not other people to control you.

WhatsApp keeps me in touch with people all over the world in a GOOD way. I don't like pointless comments on chats, so I just ignore them and don't get involved. I get lots and lots of Shiurim via WhatsApp, I don't listen to them all, but if I am doing housework it's one click and I am listening to something worthwhile. I no long listen to the radio.

You choose which chats you are on, and how much you participate in them.