Weird things we now say

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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imorethanamother

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 5:35 pm

"We don't eat our boogers."

penguin

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 5:38 pm

You may not *climb trees* on Friday afternoon, because I do not want to spend Shabbos in the ER.

*You can substitute any risky activity. Jumping from the fourth step? Or the top of the bunk bed? Dancing on top of the table? etc etc Which as a mother you may decide to allow occasionally to develop your child's..... something or other. But NOT on Friday afternoon. Or Erev Yom Tov, for that matter.*

Last edited by penguin on Thu, Jan 09 2020, 5:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

BatyaEsther

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 5:39 pm

imorethanamother wrote:

"We don't eat our boogers."

Who hasn't said that?

Amelia Bedelia

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 7:13 pm

Walls are not paper. Clothes are not paper. Tables and chairs are not paper. We color only on paper.

ra_mom

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 8:44 pm

dankbar wrote:

I sometimes say Mommy is not home

Lol! I say sorry, I already turned into a pumpkin!

Last edited by ra_mom on Fri, Jan 10 2020, 7:39 am; edited 1 time in total

Wife1

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 8:51 pm

He potched you cause you potched him you're even now so u can stop fighting

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 9:12 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Apparently I was left in a basket at a fire station with a light pink blanket and a broken doll. Oddly specific of my parents..

I was told I was found under a cabbage leaf.

When DD was a toddler, I told her to please not wake me up unless it was an emergency. Of course to a toddler, everything is an emergency, so I had to explain. "Are you on fire? Are you bleeding? Are you being eaten by a bear? No? Then it is not an emergency."

DD, at 12 1/2 years old, wakes me up at the crack of dawn.

DD: Mama? You know when you said not to wake you up unless it was an emergency?

Me: What? *still groggy*

DD: I'm bleeding.

Me: Huh?.... Oh! Surprised

*hands her the pads* Mazel tov! Do you want to go out to celebrate later, or just order pizza?

amother

Puce

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 9:36 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Please go pish!

Is it just my kids who hold it in and dance around till I tell them to go? Can't Believe It

Stop making it your responsibility! Seriously anything you turn into your responsibility be your job.

This used to make me crazy until one day I decided it's not my job anymore to push them to go. Let them pee in their pants for all I care. If they do, again its their responsibility to change and put the clothes in the washing machine.

After two days of this there was no more dancing.

Same thing with getting dressed in the morning. I would bet and plead and cry and scream until they finally got out of the door. Finally one day I woke up and said, not my responsibility anymore. He's your clothes, go into the bathroom until you are dressed, if you take your time and miss the bus you stay home or get your own self to school, depending on the age.

The first day I alloted two hours for getting dressed, the second day an hour, it took forever but it got done. from there on out they arw dressed in 10-20 minutes every morning without a word on my end. It's not my responsibility any longer because I gave up the job.

MiriFr

Thu, Jan 09 2020, 10:05 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Lol! I say sorry already turned into a pumpkin!

Haha and I say I changed my name and you'll hafta guess what it is!

shaqued_almond

Fri, Jan 10 2020, 12:57 am

I made a poem to keep my kids from walking around with food :
Leechol ba shulchan ze metzuyan, leechol ba cheder ze Lo beseder, leechol ba salon ze Lo nachon, leechol ba mitbach ze Lo shayach, leechol ba madrega ze baaya.

zohar

Fri, Jan 10 2020, 1:33 am

If either of you hit/bother the other one, you both get punished!

DC: your the meanest Mommy!
Me: Yup. I won the nshei's Meanest Mommy Award of the month, and I'm working on winning it again!

On day of my siblings wedding, and kids are jumping on couch: no one is breaking their leg today. If you want, you can break it tomorrow. But not today.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 10 2020, 3:55 am

Why am I always the bag lady on outings??

I only have 2 hands!

1091

Fri, Jan 10 2020, 4:19 am

zohar wrote:

Funny. We always tell our kids we are the meanest mommy/daddy you’ll ever have.

The one my kids quote now - said to the child leaning back on two legs of his/her chair - “if you break your chair, you stand until you are 18”

amother

Bisque

Fri, Jan 10 2020, 4:43 am

Prefacing with bh bh my kids are confident in my love for them so they laugh when I say this:

Because I love him/her more*

*when they ask why their sibling got something and they didn't too many times.

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