“Mommy and Me day”

amother

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 1:06 pm

Do you see a difference with your kids if you have a mommy and me day for example not sending them to school one day? Or just taking them out of school for lunch and bringing them back? Do you believe in this one on one time? How often do you do it? Is it healthy for them? Just wanna hear peoples opinions.. growing up we never really had mommy and me dates/days but today I do hear people mentioning it..

ra_mom

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 1:19 pm

The kids love it. It's great for your relationship. It doesn't have to be during school but can be if that works for you. Just take one child with you when you're going out to the store yourself. Enjoy the walk together, maybe buy them something small or sit down at an ice cream store for a treat. Let them talk and really listen. It's wonderful. You also get to see your child in a different light, where you really enjoy their company. I find the most important thing is to do something you enjoy, so it doesn't feel like a chore like everything else we do for our children. Then you really enjoy the time with them and see them as their own indivual being who is enjoyable to be around.

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Jan 12 2020, 1:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Lemon

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 1:27 pm

I do it, and I find I get to see a side of my kids (and they get a side of me) we don't otherwise get. They cherish the memories, proof is how often they talk about it after sometimes years later. Each kid gets a full day with me twice a year. We eat out, biking, hiking, snowtubing, rock climbing, Build a Bear, play board games, ceramic painting, arts and crafts, 1000 pc puzzle...

jetset123

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 1:47 pm

My daughter sometimes tells me she doesnt wanna go to school her throat hurts her head hurts and this and that she wants to stay home.. I know shes feeling fine and feel like shes craving a mommy and me day and doesnt know how to say it so she comes up with all these im not feeling well excuses.. I should jus start doing it before she starts with all these excuses

asmileaday

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 1:59 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

I've been wanting to start a thread about this but I'll just ask it here.
I've never formally done this in the past but I know my children would benefit tremendously.

So here's my question. If I let them take a day off twice a year, how much advance notice do they need to give you? Can they just wake up in the morning and decide this is their day off? I feel like I need to be prepared. No? What's your policy?

shmosmom

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 2:08 pm

My mom did it twice, both of which I appreciated so much.
Once was when I was in eighth grade, I was sent home from school for my skirt being too short, mom felt really bad for me (she knew I was really trying, ) and we went for donuts. I felt so validated
Another time was in twelfth grade, I had a half day off school. It wasn't about me taking the time off school, it was about mom taking time off work just for me without the 6 siblings around.
I don't think these outings have to be during school time, unless that's the only time available without siblings.
My dad used to take me every single Thursday night with him to buy watermelon for shabbos, and when ou was off season we'd just buy chips. Literally from when I was like 11 until I moved out we rarely missed a week. I only realized years later that it was his way of keeping up the relationship, and not at all about the watermelon.

amother

Lemon

Sun, Jan 12 2020, 3:29 pm

asmileaday wrote:

My point is to avoid the "I'm not in the mood" attitude. When you feel well, you go to school even when you don't feel like it. You feel like you need a day off? Let's discuss it in advance and plan it out. I want them to avoid the long boring winter feeling and getting burnt out. Springtime it's because I want them to have a break from being indoors and learning. And of course, another purpose is to spend time having fun and shmoozing together.

We usually discuss it about a week before because it needs to work with my schedule too. (I'm not a SAHM.) Sometimes, it's more last-minute like two days before, but never that morning. In the beginning, I planned the activity. Now that they're older, we discuss it and decide together. Sometimes, like New Years Day, the decision of what to do is based on the fact that we want to avoid long waiting lines and crowds. Other times it depends on the weather. Sometimes we plan something and then that day decide to change it up. I'm flexible, but the day itself involves planning so that the kid has what to look forward to and that it's mutually enjoyable.