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Can we up our manners game?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 11:39 am
Yesterday, as I was getting off the train, a frum girl trying to catch the train, shoved me and people around me. A minute later, I see a frum guy running, and pushing through hoards of people on the stairs to catch the train on the other side.

Can we realize that wearing clothing that identifies you as jewish, should give you some responsibility to act like a mentch?
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 11:41 am
You would think.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 11:44 am
It’s a NY mentality. Everyone does it. Not just us jews. So the girl should’ve just waited for the next train? I see people do it all the time.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 11:51 am
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
It’s a NY mentality. Everyone does it. Not just us jews. So the girl should’ve just waited for the next train? I see people do it all the time.


Everyone does it doesn’t matter. We have to do better. We have to be an example. Might be unfair but when people judge a Jew they are often judging all Jews. And in this atmosphere of rising anti-semitism, it’s more important than ever.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 11:56 am
I can only up my own game. Not anyone else's.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 12:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yesterday, as I was getting off the train, a frum girl trying to catch the train, shoved me and people around me. A minute later, I see a frum guy running, and pushing through hoards of people on the stairs to catch the train on the other side.

Can we realize that wearing clothing that identifies you as jewish, should give you some responsibility to act like a mentch?


Yesterday I was in Walmart with my husband. He walks fast and moves around with his cart fast. He never pushes or anything. But if you take too long to move he will cut you off. We had two carts. One me one him.

Behind me I heard some lady talking about how Jewish people walk around like they own everything. She kept going on and on. It was actually terrifying. The thing is. He didn't hurt anyone. He just has a fast way about him. I'm a mouse apologizing for my very existence. Stopping for every human in sight.

We didn't do anything or touch anyone. And still we were f-ing Jewish people.... Diseased Jewish people. Who walk around like we own the place. And spread measles.

I don't think even good manners can save us from someone who wants to find fault with us.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 12:06 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yesterday I was in Walmart with my husband. He walks fast and moves around with his cart fast. He never pushes or anything. But if you take too long to move he will cut you off. We had two carts. One me one him.

Behind me I heard some lady talking about how Jewish people walk around like they own everything. She kept going on and on. It was actually terrifying. The thing is. He didn't hurt anyone. He just has a fast way about him. I'm a mouse apologizing for my very existence. Stopping for every human in sight.

We didn't do anything or touch anyone. And still we were f-ing Jewish people.... Diseased Jewish people. Who walk around like we own the place. And spread measles.

I don't think even good manners can save us from someone who wants to find fault with us.


Indeed.

Everyone should be polite and act appropriately, because, well, that's appropriate.

But no one should extrapolate from the behavior of one person to an entire ethnic group.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 12:09 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yesterday I was in Walmart with my husband. He walks fast and moves around with his cart fast. He never pushes or anything. But if you take too long to move he will cut you off. We had two carts. One me one him.

Behind me I heard some lady talking about how Jewish people walk around like they own everything. She kept going on and on. It was actually terrifying. The thing is. He didn't hurt anyone. He just has a fast way about him. I'm a mouse apologizing for my very existence. Stopping for every human in sight.

We didn't do anything or touch anyone. And still we were f-ing Jewish people.... Diseased Jewish people. Who walk around like we own the place. And spread measles.

I don't think even good manners can save us from someone who wants to find fault with us.


It can save you from being criticized for bad manners. Your husband cuts people off while shopping? That's not nice. You can't excuse bad manners by saying it's just his way. Can't Believe It
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 12:13 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yesterday I was in Walmart with my husband. He walks fast and moves around with his cart fast. He never pushes or anything. But if you take too long to move he will cut you off. We had two carts. One me one him.

Behind me I heard some lady talking about how Jewish people walk around like they own everything. She kept going on and on. It was actually terrifying. The thing is. He didn't hurt anyone. He just has a fast way about him. I'm a mouse apologizing for my very existence. Stopping for every human in sight.

We didn't do anything or touch anyone. And still we were f-ing Jewish people.... Diseased Jewish people. Who walk around like we own the place. And spread measles.

I don't think even good manners can save us from someone who wants to find fault with us.


Sorry, it is rude. and my husband does that too. Yes, she should have waited for the next train, when theres a whole crowd of people walking up the steps, instead of pushing them to the side. No excuse me or anything.
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BH5745




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 16 2020, 12:30 pm
The point is well made. The question is will being more polite people lead to less anti-Semitism? It doesn't seem like it. There are plenty of polite Jews, and yet those who want to hate us will cherrypick 1 bad Jew out there to prove their point. If you tell them that's only 1 bad person, they would probably come up with something like the rest of us are just pretending to be nice, really we're all the same rude Jews. Honestly, the only way to avoid anti-Semitism is move where the people aren't anti-Semitic. Attempting to convince all the Tristate Jews to take on Marry Poppins' manners is a bandaid solution for a gaping wound. We need to be mentschen, of course. But at the same time let's be realistic. We are not going to please into liking us people who are angry and afraid for their futures; people who blame us as the cause of their worries. It would be so much more productive to focus on how to extricate our families from this current anti-Semitic climate.
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meyerlemon44




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:28 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yesterday I was in Walmart with my husband. He walks fast and moves around with his cart fast. He never pushes or anything. But if you take too long to move he will cut you off. We had two carts. One me one him.

Behind me I heard some lady talking about how Jewish people walk around like they own everything. She kept going on and on. It was actually terrifying. The thing is. He didn't hurt anyone. He just has a fast way about him. I'm a mouse apologizing for my very existence. Stopping for every human in sight.

We didn't do anything or touch anyone. And still we were f-ing Jewish people.... Diseased Jewish people. Who walk around like we own the place. And spread measles.

I don't think even good manners can save us from someone who wants to find fault with us.


Your husband was rude and made a chilul Hashem. We live in a world that judges us harshly and we need to be better to compensate. It's not fair but it's reality.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:35 am
Sorry, but that's a New York thing. Don't like it, go move somewhere friendlier. Yes, I push and shove my way through the subway, I'll never get anywhere otherwise, and just get pushed and shoved by others. That's how it works in this city. I am polite where it matters. A crowded subway is not the time or place for politeness.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:42 am
If you don't push your way onto the train in NY, you can wait for the train forever!!!! If you stand there and let everyone pass, you'll never get wherever you're supposed to be going. Everyone does this, this is just how it is in NY.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:46 am
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
If you don't push your way onto the train in NY, you can wait for the train forever!!!! If you stand there and let everyone pass, you'll never get wherever you're supposed to be going. Everyone does this, this is just how it is in NY.


As someone who lived in Brooklyn for 30 years and took the train to NYC for 15, I can say that BS

If you truely believe such behaviour is acceptable you deserve any antisemitic or other animosity that comes your way...
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 11:49 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
As someone who lived in Brooklyn for 30 years and took the train to NYC for 15, I can say that BS

If you truely believe such behaviour is acceptable you deserve any antisemitic or other animosity that comes your way...


I don't believe this is acceptable. But it's the only way to get on a train rush hour in a crowded station. Everyone starts shoving the second the doors open, you just go with the flow.

Your words are very harsh, uncalled for, and anti semitic.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:20 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yesterday, as I was getting off the train, a frum girl trying to catch the train, shoved me and people around me. A minute later, I see a frum guy running, and pushing through hoards of people on the stairs to catch the train on the other side.

Can we realize that wearing clothing that identifies you as jewish, should give you some responsibility to act like a mentch?


I just learned that it’s not a good thing to speak badly about klal Yisroel. It can chas vesholom have a bad effect. I know you don’t mean to but better not to speak about the faults.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:21 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Yesterday I was in Walmart with my husband. He walks fast and moves around with his cart fast. He never pushes or anything. But if you take too long to move he will cut you off. We had two carts. One me one him.

Behind me I heard some lady talking about how Jewish people walk around like they own everything. She kept going on and on. It was actually terrifying. The thing is. He didn't hurt anyone. He just has a fast way about him. I'm a mouse apologizing for my very existence. Stopping for every human in sight.

We didn't do anything or touch anyone. And still we were f-ing Jewish people.... Diseased Jewish people. Who walk around like we own the place. And spread measles.

I don't think even good manners can save us from someone who wants to find fault with us.


It wasn’t what you did, it was that lowlife’s anti semitism
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:35 pm
I said this on another thread that I noticed shoving and pushing to board when I went on the Staten Island Ferry. It was NOT a Jewish/frum crowd.

But I do agree it's good to do our part and be as polite as possible.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:39 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
As someone who lived in Brooklyn for 30 years and took the train to NYC for 15, I can say that BS

If you truely believe such behaviour is acceptable you deserve any antisemitic or other animosity that comes your way...

Do you want to retract this?
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Jan 17 2020, 12:42 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
As someone who lived in Brooklyn for 30 years and took the train to NYC for 15, I can say that BS

If you truely believe such behaviour is acceptable you deserve any antisemitic or other animosity that comes your way...


No one deserves anti Semitic behavior. No one. This attitude results from guilt and self hatred
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