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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
OP
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:14 am
Do most yeshivish and chassidish women continue to conceive after age 35? Do Rabbis give heterim to stop after age 35?
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amother
Blue
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:15 am
I'm 36 and far from done. I hope to still continue conceiving.
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Iymnok
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:17 am
Most I know seem to want to. I’m nearly 35 and I do plan on having a few more.
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amother
Coffee
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:24 am
im 36. we plan one or two more. that being said we started 'late' and have now 4 ka``h , had a few miscarriages and health issues so needed two to three years time between each pregnancy (according to our ruv and doc). most of my yeshivish friends also continue after 35. depends also very much on your circumstances and your halachic authority!
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amother
Bisque
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:25 am
Iymnok wrote: | I’m nearly 35 and I do plan on having a few more. |
Ditto beH.
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nchr
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:34 am
After 35, yes, in Chassidish circles. Most women still want to have children then. I'm sure Rabbeim give heterim because Chassidish dayanim in general, especially the older ones, are more meikel to bc and tend to generally say yes.
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amother
Red
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 4:44 am
FYI, 35 is still rather young ...
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amother
Wheat
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 4:52 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Do most yeshivish and chassidish women continue to conceive after age 35? Do Rabbis give heterim to stop after age 35? |
Today they give more easily heterim(if you go to the good Rabbi..)
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Ruchel
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 5:24 am
35 is young. It's a few years above the average first baby age in many countries
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amother
Smokey
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 5:37 am
I personally hope to be done having kids by 36 if I can have one or 2 more by then iyH. I'm 32 now..
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amother
Slateblue
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 6:45 am
I was my mother's 4th and she had me at 35 and then had another 4!
I just had my 5th at 35 and the hospital experience was so different. They automatically classified me as high risk because I was 35 and they gave me shots in my stomach to prevent clotting because I'm 35. It was strange being treated like an old lady.
I do think I'm done though not because I don't want more, but because I have physical complications that make pregnancy very difficult and it gets worse each time. I would love to have one or 2 more but I'm not sure if I can risk my health for it.
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Ruchel
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 6:49 am
Wow! 35 is too young for this. I've seen things above 38, certainly 40 and 42 etc (not know by heart) but 35??
I do see the obsession with "multi multiparous" etc
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amother
Burlywood
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:02 am
35 is young these days
Yes
I had a baby over 35 and my age was not a consideration at all.
My yeshivish rav has given me heterim over all these years.
Are you asking if after a certain age there is just a blanket heter?
Last edited by amother on Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:17 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Hotpink
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:10 am
35 is very young to stop having kids. It's more common to have bigger breaks but have kids till 40+.
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amother
Pearl
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:12 am
My mother had 3 after 35.
For me, my shop is closing by 35, if not earlier.
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tryinghard
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 10:10 am
A few years back I thought I wanted to be done by 35. Not my hashkafa at all, just ideal-world, “wouldn’t that be nice” kind of thoughts. At this point, I’m 31 and have had longer breaks than I would have otherwise chosen, and I just don’t see it. I have no idea what will be at that point, whether I will practically be done anyway due to the sane reasons as my long breaks. I’ve stopped mentally planning things out. Leaving it up to God 😁
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amother
Firebrick
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 10:12 am
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote: | 35 is young these days
Yes
I had a baby over 35 and my age was not a consideration at all.
My yeshivish rav has given me heterim over all these years.
Are you asking if after a certain age there is just a blanket heter? |
I stopped asking when I realized that I was slowly sliding into a black hole of mental issues but no one was willing to listen
I know it isn’t right but if I’m “gone” will the rabbi be there to take care of my children?
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 10:13 am
Based on what my Rav told US, and what I see around me, litivish women usually stop at around 40. As many others said, 35 is too young.
I would have tried for more after 40, but a. our Rav convinced us not to, and b. my friend really scared with some of the statistics. I was absolutely NOT ready for or able to handle a SN child at that point in my life, so I said I would rather be finished than take the chance.
I'm still sad about it.
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gold21
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 10:18 am
I see women mostly stopping by late 30s
Not mid 30s
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Sun, Jan 19 2020, 10:20 am
My mil had my husband at 46!
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