Potching Poll | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Potching Poll

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

what was your child's first reaction?

Cried and acted scared of me

33%

[ 18 ]

Cried and seemed sorry

22%

[ 12 ]

Looked extremely confused

[ 3 ]

Looked at me like "seriously?"

[ 4 ]

Laughed and ran away

[ 1 ]

Liked it and asked for more

[ 1 ]

Other

27%

[ 15 ]

Total Votes : 54

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 11:42 am

DD's first reaction was to look confused, and then walk away (I potched on her diaper.)

The second time I was really angry, and I yelled "Do you want a potch?" and she pushed out her little butt at me and said "OK!"

Can't Believe It

That was when I realized I had a sensory seeking child, who also enjoyed being tickled really hard, and smooshed between pillows like a sandwich.

Honestly, she looked so cute that I laughed out loud, and completely forgot what I was even mad about. To this day I have no idea what she did that I had deemed potch-worthy. I had to come up with another parenting tactic quick!

My parents potched me, but never in anger. I always just shrugged and felt like "Yeah, I was asking for it." It made me feel like the scales had evened out somehow.

JoyInTheMorning

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 12:04 pm

You need an option for those of us who have never hit our kids.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 1:56 pm

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

You need an option for those of us who have never hit our kids.

Darn, it won't let me edit. "Other" is the best choice for that. And good for you!

nchr

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 2:00 pm

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

You need an option for those of us who have never hit our kids.

This. I'm not a perfect parent though.

amother

Linen

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 2:15 pm

I dont think you understand. Where are the poll choices for: "looked defiant," or "looked stonefaced." Do you know what a child looks like when he's traumatized? Or the siblings who are there to watch the punishments? When he's keeping it all inside and won't show emotion or tears because he is thoroughly frozen inside? Or he's crying but refuses to mentally acknowledge what is happening because it's just so awful that if he doesn't disconnect from reality, reality will overwhelm him.
Do you really think parents can tell when they've traumatized a child? He won't have the word trauma written across his forehead. The parents, like many posts I've read here, say that all is well and it's not a big deal for the child. And the spanking was necessary. And anyway everyone does it. (Not.)
Children don't tell parents: you've traumatized me. Parents don't know till many years later. Even the child doesn't fully understand his trauma until later on in life.
If a parent hits a child, don't be surprised later on when it comes back to haunt.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 3:36 pm

DD (age 2.5) got a potch on her hand for touching a knife. She sweetly gives me her other hand saying, "yetst dey". (now this one) LOL

amother

Blonde

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 5:03 pm

I have never potched in my life and never would.

I got a potch once from my father for something my sister did, not me. I thought it was very unfair. Cried. Hated him my whole life, but it was a whole lot more than that one potch.

zaftigmom

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 5:58 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

What you are describing is abuse. An occasional potch that barely hurts is not abuse. Please don't make good parents think they're being abusive.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:00 pm

So whenever my kids fight or hurt each other, I tell them to give the other one a hug and say sorry.
I once patched my three year old. He cried and then said "now you have to give me a hug and say sorry".
I realized that to him it wasn't a punishment that he understood. It was me fighting and hurting him.
Never hit again

amother

Linen

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 7:27 pm

zaftigmom wrote:

What you are describing is abuse. An occasional potch that barely hurts is not abuse. Please don't make good parents think they're being abusive.

The line between abusive potching and not-abusive potching can be so vague, that most of what I read today shows that many many people here dont know the difference.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Jan 19 2020, 8:47 pm

To those that have been potched as a child, do u resent it or feel it's unfair? Should really do a spin off, too lazy.. Sad

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jan 20 2020, 3:09 am

I guess I should have defined "potch". I mean a swat on the bottom or hand, not a bare bottom hard spanking, or hitting with an object.

If your child is reaching for a hot stove, you might panic and potch the hand to teach the child to not touch when you say "don't touch!" You might potch a child if you catch him running into the middle of the road, and you have to grab him and drag him back up on the curb.

That happened to a friend of mine. Her 4yo got away from her, and dashed into traffic on a narrow street, where no one could even swerve to avoid him. She got him back to safety just in time, and gave him a potch on the bottom. He cried and looked scared, but better that than get smooshed flat on the pavement. Sad

My friend was terrified that I would think she was a horrible mother for potching, but I understood that she was panicked and afraid, and she really wanted to make sure that her son understood that she was serious when she said "Stay with me and hold on to the stroller".

What I am NOT talking about, is lashing out in anger. When I made my mom angry, she would tell me to go to my room, and wait until my dad got home. That was way worse than the actual potch! My dad is a big softy, and never hit me hard. It was the "I'm disappointed in you" speech that always made me cry and feel sorry.

I don't know if "too lazy" would be the case, but I think it comes down to how you were raised as a child, and not having any other tools in your parenting kit. Parenting classes are a g-dsend these days. Our parents didn't have access to the education we have now. Child psychology is really a fairly new thing.

Teomima

Mon, Jan 20 2020, 3:10 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Darn, it won't let me edit. "Other" is the best choice for that. And good for you!

Chose "other" for this reason. Never hit any of my kids.

amother

Peach

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 7:28 pm

For those that want a gentle parenting approach without spankingpitching, even mildly, follow blimie heller on Instagram. I took her course and its life changing!!!!

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jan 21 2020, 8:37 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

For those that want a gentle parenting approach without spankingpitching, even mildly, follow blimie heller on Instagram. I took her course and its life changing!!!!

Please refer to other thread
Lol
(I agree! I took it too!)

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 10:18 am

When my oldest ran in the road. I took him to the side and told him how upset I was but I had to smack him so he knows never to run in the road again bc it's dangerous. I smacked him so gently on his hand and he sobbed from upsetness (hes extremely sensitive) and I gave him a long cuddle and told him hes not going to run in the road again and mummy wont need to smack him again.

Another time I did it was on holiday when he ran into a lake! THANKFULLY it was shallow. But I did the same thing to show him that running into a lake is dangerous and cannot happen again.

Bh never had any incident since!

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