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Introducing anger management book to 9 yo boy



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 21 2020, 12:17 am
My 9 yo son is bh a very good boy. Well-liked by his friends, learning well, etc. His rebbi mentioned that two or three times he got angry and didn't deal with it appropriately. He thought it was maybe a little too much for a 4th grader. I'm talking two or three times. Not daily or even near. (He can have this problem at home too, also very infrequently, maybe once a month or so, which is why I decided to follow through with rebbis advice-
He went to the school social worker, who has already seen many boys over the years, so he didn't view it as weird or as a problem. After speaking to him two times (he didn't know it was for anger problems. He thought it's just his turn to get called out of class) she said that she didn't even ask him outright but he is very aware of his problem that he can get too angry and he doesn't like that problem. Which is great that he understands. She said he doesn't need any therapy for these infrequent times, and I think mostly because he even brought up his anger and that he didn't like it, but she recommended a book for him to read. I bought it and read it myself and I really like it. I'd love to either read it with him and go through all the scenarios, or if it would be better to just let him read it himself. Any thoughts on which would be better?

Also, my main question is, how should I introduce the book to him? I don't want him to see it as a negative thing, or to be upset that I am telling him that he has to control his anger. I want him to see it as a tool to help him for all the times that he starts to feel anger, and to be excited to have these told to help him in the future, rather than a burden that he has to read this dumb book
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 21 2020, 6:16 pm
Bump
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Jan 21 2020, 7:12 pm
Can you make it a family thing, instead of singling him out? Let everyone know that you found this great book on improving the middah of ka'as, and you want to learn it together as a family. Gather everyone together and read one chapter each night. Make it part of the family vocabulary, and normalize it as a struggle.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 21 2020, 7:16 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
Can you make it a family thing, instead of singling him out? Let everyone know that you found this great book on improving the middah of ka'as, and you want to learn it together as a family. Gather everyone together and read one chapter each night. Make it part of the family vocabulary, and normalize it as a struggle.


Genius! Tysm
He's the oldest, and the next one after him is almost 4 years younger, but it may work nicely anyway
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subee




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 21 2020, 8:29 pm
What book was recommended? Is it for the child or the parent to read?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 21 2020, 10:22 pm
subee wrote:
What book was recommended? Is it for the child or the parent to read?


What to do when your temper flares. It's for the child to read. It explains everything about temper and how to avoid it very clearly
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Jan 22 2020, 12:03 am
The way of the warrior kid is a nice series that talks to kids about building themselves by doing things that are hard for them. Very kid friendly and motivating.
For working with a child, I've found collaborative problem solving from the explosive child to be very effective
Hatzlocha!!
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amother
Mint


 

Post Wed, Jan 22 2020, 12:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What to do when your temper flares. It's for the child to read. It explains everything about temper and how to avoid it very clearly


The what to do series is great! Perfect for reading together.
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