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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:18 am
Are you yeshivish, modern, hassidish? Did you get a heter to stop having kids after or you just stopped on your own?
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amother
Periwinkle
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:33 am
I'm chabad. Had last kids (twins) at 36. Kept trying for more until early 40's but miscarried each time. By 42 I asked for a heter.
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amother
Crimson
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:39 am
38
RWMO
Need to do IVF to conceive so no need for bc or to ask a rav for a heter.
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Odelyah
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 1:50 am
I was a few weeks short of 41. I wish I could have more but I'm 47 so sadly I don't think it's happening.
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amother
Wine
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 2:22 am
I'm 36 now, had my last at 34. Dont think I'll be having more. Somewhere between JPF and yeshivish. Did not ask specifically. Last kid threw our family for a loop. I have fulfilled my halachic obligation, dh (a rebbe) is ok with it.
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Odelyah
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 2:49 am
Odelyah wrote: | I was a few weeks short of 41. I wish I could have more but I'm 47 so sadly I don't think it's happening. |
oh sorry I forgot to add that we are yeshivish
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amother
Mint
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 3:51 am
Odelyah wrote: | oh sorry I forgot to add that we are yeshivish |
Are you not on bc? I heard that around menopause one is more fertile. Do you want to risk getting pregnant within the next few years? I'm just curious how it works bc how do you know that it won't happen?
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amother
Puce
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 4:00 am
Last child (7th child) at 36. Now 45.
We had previously received heterim for breaks in between children, saying "you can have a break until your wife is ready"
After 7th I used that heter and still am.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:25 am
39
Trying for more with ivf, we always had fertility problems, (unfortunately) no need for bc. MO/DL
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amother
Gold
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 6:22 am
I would love more but due to medical diagnosis and the financial ramifications it's not going to happen. I'm currently 38 and gave birth at 38 to baby #8 ka"h. I don't ask for a heter. We are I guess modern Orthodox but I see that means very different things to ppl.
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amother
Seashell
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 7:01 am
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amother
Lime
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 7:01 am
33
Chassidish
Now 37 and we decided on our own
We have fulfilled the 2 boys 1 girl requirement
Last child is a hard one and I can't handle another pregnancy now. I have it hard, weekly blood draw to check levels, progesterone till the 12 week mark, ends in a scheduled c-section. Recovery is crazy hard.
Mentally I have checked out from it all. I actually enjoy the kids more when they're independent and not so dependant on me
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 8:34 am
I guess I was 30. I'm 40 now, baby is 9.5 and I've been trying for 7 years
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amother
Azure
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 9:24 am
A month short of 31 (#3) then got divorced a couple of years later before having any more (it took me a while to conceive each time anyway).
I remarried at 39, but had a hysterectomy shortly afterwards for health reasons (ovarian tumor). I would have loved a large family, but it wasn't to be
I do have 3 lovely step kids in addition to my own 3, which goes some way to making up for it!
ETA: MO
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Odelyah
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 9:35 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote: | Are you not on bc? I heard that around menopause one is more fertile. Do you want to risk getting pregnant within the next few years? I'm just curious how it works bc how do you know that it won't happen? |
I'm not because I would love to have one more baby! But even though it does happen, it is extremely statistically unlikely at my age, even right before menopause.
I was on BC a few years ago when I was having a serious back problem and needed to be able to take a muscle relaxant but BH that was a while ago and I have not been using anything for a few years. I am still hoping for a miracle but it gets less likely with each passing month. In a couple months I will be 48 b'ezH.
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amother
Mint
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 9:41 am
Odelyah wrote: | I'm not because I would love to have one more baby! But even though it does happen, it is extremely statistically unlikely at my age, even right before menopause.
I was on BC a few years ago when I was having a serious back problem and needed to be able to take a muscle relaxant but BH that was a while ago and I have not been using anything for a few years. I am still hoping for a miracle but it gets less likely with each passing month. In a couple months I will be 48 b'ezH. |
Oh I see, I hope it still happens for you then iyH. I personally, for myself wouldn't risk older age as birth control because I wouldn't want a baby so old but that's just me.
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Odelyah
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Wed, Jan 22 2020, 9:55 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote: | Oh I see, I hope it still happens for you then iyH. I personally, for myself wouldn't risk older age as birth control because I wouldn't want a baby so old but that's just me. |
Amein thank you! yes if I needed to not get pregnant I would use something. As I said I've used it at different times when necessary. I think at this point if I didn't especially want more, but would be OK with it in the unlikely event that it happened, I still wouldn't use anything at this point because the chance is so low and I'd rather not take the hormones--but that's just me (although I'm guessing lots of other women my age weigh it the same way), but as I said that's not even the case now--I would be ecstatic really if it happened.
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