What do u think is easier

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Previous 1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:03 pm

freilich wrote:

Hey! Being a man would be so difficult. I would have to contend with a wife.

Oh,bother Wink

Sorry but this gets me mad Twisted Evil

are you such a bad wife that you wouldn't be able to put up with yourself? If yes quit nagging your husband and make yourself more pleasant to be around!

amother

Silver

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:17 pm

I would definitely want to be a man.
I think they have it much easier!

freilich

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 5:05 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Sorry but this gets me mad Twisted Evil

are you such a bad wife that you wouldn't be able to put up with yourself? If yes quit nagging your husband and make yourself more pleasant to be around!

Hey lady! Chill.

Where's a bit of humor?

As an aside, I do believe part of being a man is understanding us women. We can be pretty contradictory.

To answer the above question, I'm thrilled with my gender, and so is my DH.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:37 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

I would definitely want to be a man.
I think they have it much easier!

Same here!!!

Men have it physically so much easier. They get to be stronger and not have to go through the pain, discomfort, and inconvenience of periods, pregnancy, childbirth, etc. My goal was always a child - not a pregnancy or birth experience, and I’d be just as happy to have someone else go though all the pain and discomfort. Men are also hardwired to have a much easier time enjoying intimacy, and to add insult to injury, they’re the ones who get the mitzvah of pru u’rvu, when their part consists of a few minutes of pleasure, and our part consists of months of discomfort and hours of pain and suffering. . .

With regard to financial responsibility, I think men have it easier too. I’m the primary breadwinner in our household, and I hold down a full time, professional job, after which I come home to all the household and child rearing responsibilities. Men, who work full time rarely do double duty with regard to the household. They may help - but they receive extra credit and bonus points for doing so, while women who work still carry the “mental load” and bear the brunt of the household responsibilities. I also pay bills, balance the checkbook, figure out the taxes, etc., and I do cook and clean for my family, although I find it boring and tedious.

With regard to ruchniyus, men also have it way better. Almost everything they do is a mitzvah, and if one considers mitzvos precious, this allows them almost unlimited opportunities. Yes I daven three times a day, and I learn and do all the mitzvos aseh that I am allowed to, but my mitzvos are always worth less, because I’m “eino mitzuveh.” I’m also largely excluded from learning - which I absolutely love. I would be happy to sit and learn all day, but instead I am forced into a role that I despise and does not suit me at all . . .

Before you make any unwarranted assumptions: DH is a tzaddik, and I love him dearly. He is appreciative and undemanding, and he would do anything to make me happy. My (long-standing) marriage is the best thing in my life. Still, if I had the opportunity to be a man - I would grab it in a minute. Maybe I’m really transgender . . .

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 10:26 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Childbearing is so so so so hard. But I wouldn't trade it for working, time mitzvos etc, also I live for when women had maids. But we have better medicine, so ok. I wouldn't want to be a man even though physically it is easier as they do not have long months of hard, pain, exhaustion...

So you are happy to be a wealthy woman. But what if you were born into circumstances where you were the maid?

Amelia Bedelia

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 10:38 pm

Zehava wrote:

Woman
Woman woman woman
Please learn to spell your own gender

And please pronounce it correctly too.
One woman- wu·muhn
Multiple women- wi·muhn

Cringe!

BoomChickaPop

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 10:47 pm

Pregnancy and child-birth (difficult for me) I think is balanced out by getting to be the Mommy to the kids. So that aside, I always thought I would prefer to be a man and not have to deal with makeup/sheitels, but the truth is that I wouldn't want to have to go to minyan 3x a day either. I guess I'll just stick to being a woman Smile

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 10:54 pm

Amelia Bedelia wrote:

And please pronounce it correctly too.
One woman- wu·muhn
Multiple women- wi·muhn

Cringe!

Totally cringe worthy!!!
Hint: singular: man / woman
Plural: Men/women

Water Stones

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 11:49 pm

I am a SAHM, I have 3 children, my oldest will be 4 years old soon, and I'm pregnant. It's hard, but it's harder on my dh who works and learns after work.

So it depends on the life style of the family to know who has it harder, I believe.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 1:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To be a man or a women? Im a women . We have hard responsibility's , were really the ones building our homes and the list goes on . A man really has the responsibility of bringing in money which I find even harder . I sometimes feel soo bad for them for this pressure of having the ull to make sure bills or other stuff are paid up . I always try in all ways to help in financially. I thank hashem for making me be a women . Im sure some men think they could never manage household... are you happy with your gender?

Obviously way easier to be a man.
Around me, I see women being as stressed about earning an income as men. It's not the 1950s anymore. Most women work!

Plus we have monrhly periods, pregnancy, childbirth. That hasn't changed.

Teomima

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 2:02 am

Hmm, where to start. Your assumptions about gender roles are not applicable across the board. In our marriage there have been years where I was the sole breadwinner, and years when dh was. Now we share the responsibility. But I am still, and always have been, the one who pays the bills and balances the checkbook. Meanwhile we share household management responsibilities. He does most of the dishwashing and a lot of the laundry. So....

But all that side, purely the question of which do I think is easier, and which would I want to be? I think being a man is much easier, but I am so, so grateful to be a woman.

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:06 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

I would never want to be a man today. Men today are seen as automatic rape suspects and told that if they think a woman is interested they're probably imagining it, they shouldn't rely on their perception and any desire for intimacy is bad and "proof" that they are animals who objectify women. They grow up being fed toxic masculinity. If they blink wrong their name can be smeared and if they refuse to date someone who hits on them she can just claim he raped her. Every young man from about the age of 15 is seen as a potential rapist. If a man wants to get divorced because his wife cheated on him she flips the story and claims the kids and ruins him financially. No. ****. Way. Would I want to be a man. And I hope that something changes before our sons grow up.

banana123

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:09 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

I think we say it's "easier to be a man" because we teach women to be homemaker and breadwinner but teach men to be breadwinners but not involved fathers.

If we taught little girls to be homemakers and little boys to be breadwinners, or taught both genders to fill both roles, maybe women would have it easier and men would feel less insecure about their parenting and housekeeping skills.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:42 am

banana123 wrote:

Women are taught to be fist and foremost breadwinners where I live.

When they get married they get stuck with more than their fair share of household duties, because it's more important to them and they are more natural people pleasers.

And then they have biological drawbacks that men dont have.

So yeah, easier to be a man

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:48 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Yes, all that is unfortunate.
On the flip side, women are much more vulnerable to rape and domestic violence.
Men aren't afraid to walk alone in most areas.
Men aren't afraid their wife will beat them or murder them.

(And you come across as very misogynistic. If a woman cheats, that has nothing to do with her rights to the kids. And most women aren't out to ruin the ex financially. Divorce is expensive for all. Divorced women are among the poorest sectors of society in my country - not divorced men).

banana123

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 3:55 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Right, so what I'm saying is that if we match what we teach the girls to what we teach the boys, things will get better.

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 4:14 am

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

Men and boys are also vulnerable to rape and molestation than women and girls. It's true that more women experience that than men but there is still a significant number of men who have experienced s-xual violence, and an enormous amount of under-reporting, so that for every man who reports there are another few who suffer in silence.

Domestic violence is 50/50, but again men don't report it because if they did, the woman would claim he was violent to her, and also it's very unmanly to be a victim of domestic violence. Men who experience this tend to think it's all their fault and they deserve it, and also feel like they are not "real" men and if they were "real" men things would be different. It's shameful so they don't discuss it. BTW boys are more likely than girls to be abused or murdered by a parent (usually the mother).

Many men are afraid their wives will beat them or murder them. Many men don't come in when they are injured. And if those who do come in they lie about it being a streetfight or something like that, that is more "manly." Some are afraid of losing their children if they report the violence.

(Why is it misogynistic to say that a woman who is after revenge because she wants to cheat but doesn't want her husband to ask for a divorce, is likely to lie and try to ruin him? Obviously most divorces aren't like this and most people - men and women - aren't that abusive. In the case - she cheated and is vengeful - I gave I think it's reasonably common, but thankfully most couples aren't in that situation.)

Whatever, my point was that it's not that great to be a man nowadays, when your feelings aren't legit, you are seen by society as a potential rapist, if you are harmed you have no voice.

Here on imamother (and on social media, and in society) if a woman dares say this isn't what she wants for her sons, she is told that she's misogynistic. Which just proves how society sees men and that it's really not worth being a man, because if anyone hurts you, that's justified.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 4:17 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Domestic violence is 50/50, .

I am sorry, but there is absolutely no research or statistics to back this up. At all.
Saying it exists but people just don't report it, doesn't work. I can say that purple elephants exist but no one's seen them yet.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 4:21 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Here on imamother (and on social media, and in society) if a woman dares say this isn't what she wants for her sons, she is told that she's misogynistic. Which just proves how society sees men and that it's really not worth being a man, because if anyone hurts you, that's justified.

j

That's not why I said you sound misogynistic. No woman wants her sons to suffer.

You sounded misogynistic because it seems you view women as evil and scheming. You didn't say in SOME cases a woman might take advantage of her ex in court. You made it sound like that's what's usually done.
You also said that women 'take the kids' in court. IMO, women getting more custody is only fair - they carry the pregnancy, they give birth, and they usually do more of the taking care of children. It would be unfair to then give a father full custody (unless the woman is unfit).
Yes, IMO things are not equal, and since most women sacrifice so much more for parenthood, they deserve more rights with the kids (of course fathers should have frequent visitation/partial custody, but I am not a fan of splitting custody 50/50).

Ruchel

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 5:06 am

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

So you are happy to be a wealthy woman. But what if you were born into circumstances where you were the maid?

I'm wealthy? interesting. You hardly know me, or you don't read my post. Just because I dream of the time with maids doesn't mean I have a time machine

Quote:

they’re the ones who get the mitzvah of pru u’rvu, when their part consists of a few minutes of pleasure, and our part consists of months of discomfort and hours of pain and suffering. .

yes! imagine our zechus! not even mandatory! and we do it bh

Page 2 of 3

Previous 1 2 3 Next