Shiduchim while in seminary

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 5:41 pm

My oldest DD, almost 19, is in seminary in Israel. She is planning to come back to US mid-June. Recently someone called me about a boy for my niece ( a year older than DD). It did not work out, but I keep on thinking that this boy would be a good fit for DD. Should I even start looking into this? Talk to DD? Or just forget about it and wait till she comes back to start talking shiduchim?

agreer

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 7:38 pm

WAIT.

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 7:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My oldest DD , almost 19, is in seminary in Israel. She is planning to come back to US in mid-June. Recently someone called me about a boy for my niece ( a year older then DD). It did not work out, but I keep on thinking that this boy would be a good fit for DD. Should I even start looking into this? Talk to DD? Or just forget about it and wait till she comes back to start talking shiduchim ?

What on earth is your rush?

amother

Pearl

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 8:05 pm

Split the difference. Keep the information and come back to it when she starts dating. If he's still available, great. If not, it's not bashert.

amother

Coffee

Wed, Jan 22 2020, 8:07 pm

Please, pretty please wait

zaq

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:56 am

Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait.

Put the resume in a file folder and leave it there. If it’s bashert , he’ll still be around when your dd is ready. If he’s taken by then, it was clearly not bashert. Don’t do anything till your dc indicates she’s ready.

amother

Lime

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:05 am

My parents made me go out with a boy over Pesach when I was in seminary. It did not work out. But in a way, it killed the rest of my seminary year for me, making me lose my focus.

So my two cents is WAIT. Let her enjoy her seminary year to the fullest.

bouncy

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:17 am

Wait- no rush!
let her enjoy her time.

Just cuz you think its an idea.... doesn't mean it is Laugh

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 6:19 am

I got engaged during seminary, but I wasn’t in Israel.

amother

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 12:46 pm

So the consensus, including the few people I asked IRL , is to wait . I will keep the resume and wait till June. Thank you all!

flowers12345

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 12:49 pm

Yes please wait!! No better way to mess with your kid's head at this point then to bring up shidduchim! She's still developing and growing and will let you know when she wants to start dating when she feels ready

amother

Bisque

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 4:38 pm

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

I could have written this, word for word. I love my parents, an happily married for almost a decade, but I still really resent that they pushed me to go out. I lost weeks thinking about dating before I went home, and then the rest of the year untangling what went wrong. There’s no rush. Do your daughter a favor and wait.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Jan 23 2020, 7:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So the consensus, including the few people I asked IRL , is to wait . I will keep the resume and wait till June. Thank you all!

And then give it some more time. It’s good to have some time to settle after seminary.

amother

Yellow

Wed, Feb 19 2020, 4:50 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

Me too!!!

I went out Pesach time in USA and later in the year in EY.
I was heartbroken after boy said no Pesach time, and my studies slipped. I was distracted and not as happy.

BUT it was a great shidduch idea! The closest of all ideas. I think we went out nine times. (Very yeshivish..)

Page 1 of 1