What to do about lying?

amother

Fri, Jan 24 2020, 12:42 am

My 7yo son has started lying recently, and I don't know what to do about it.

He definitely has impulse control issues in other areas as well, and misbehaves even when he absolutely knows he's doing the wrong thing and will get in trouble for it--not because he doesn't care, but just because he has trouble controlling himself.

But recently, he's started lying about it. He lies so sincerely, and insists on the lie even when confronted with absolute evidence that I know he's lying--to the point where I sometimes even doubt myself, even if I know with 100% certainty that he's lying!

I've discussed with him that lying to get out of trouble makes things worse every time--that I always find out, and then he gets into worse trouble because of the lie, AND it means I can't trust him or take his word for anything (which has already had real and direct consequences for him, so it's not just a theoretical.)

He knows. He knows! And yet he can't help himself.

Today, after he got in serious hot water for misbehaving and then lying about it, I asked him why he lies when he knows he'll get into worse trouble for it--and he heartbreakingly said "I don't know! I just do."

Does anyone have any suggestions? How can I help him break this very bad new habit? I think he genuinely wants to stop, but lying has become yet another impulse that he's having trouble controlling.