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Forum -> Computers, Phones and Devices
A little rant please don’t attack me lol
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 7:09 am
I read that kids under 20 years old get addicted much faster because their brains are still developing. So I see that differently than an adult using a smartphone.
To me the addiction is a more serious issue than the actual internet which can be filtered and used for good in so many ways.
This is why I dont allow my kids to have smartphones and I'm happy that it's a school rule as well.
Internet for kids in my house is allowed sparingly, enough that they can find their way around but not enough for it to be a regular activity.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 7:19 am
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
I read that kids under 20 years old get addicted much faster because their brains are still developing. So I see that differently than an adult using a smartphone.
To me the addiction is a more serious issue than the actual internet which can be filtered and used for good in so many ways.
This is why I dont allow my kids to have smartphones and I'm happy that it's a school rule as well.
Internet for kids in my house is allowed sparingly, enough that they can find their way around but not enough for it to be a regular activity.


That's so interesting. I never thought of it from that perspective. Thank you for sharing.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 7:30 am
It is the same for other types of addictions as well. I take this seriously because we have family history of addiction and there are studies that say it makes one more prone to addiction. I'm open with my kids about this, that even if they see people they know experimenting with vaping, smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc., we need to be extra extra careful because addiction happens faster in the brains of kids who have family history of it.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 7:42 am
I never heard about addictions bring connected to brain development, but it seems so simple and makes so much sense. Thank you again for educating me.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 11:02 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Why is it such a terrible thing?
I don’t get it.
There’s no harm if you use it responsibly (with a set time off with a passcode so you can’t go past the time allowed) and access frum Jewish sites like imamother Smile and shopping for things and stuff.

Whatever.
I am newly religious.
I grew up on the internet, movies, tv, yadyadyada.
No harm done. My siblings and I aren’t bad people because we were exposed to a kissing scene and violence.
I became frum because of chabad.org. And yes I have a past. Where I watched movies and tv and saw all kinds of things, I even hated p*rn because from what I heard from my mother she said it was terrible because it’s unrealistic and it makes women look like meat. I watched once as a teen out of curiosity and I was disgusted because my mother was right.

And despite all of this, I became frum.
I use torah anytime for English shiurim
And this site to rant and rave and to ask questions
And Facebook and WhatsApp because I don’t have family here.

All I’m asking is that people shouldn’t think that we smartphone people are addicted (some people are unfortunately but like I said, I have a timer set for 2 am the latest!) or evil people.


My issue with it has nothing to do with being religious or what’s being watched, read or seen. It’s hardly possible to go on an outing anymore or any social gathering without having most of the people there with their faces in their phone or distracted by their emails, social media, etc. Many children and adults don’t know how to sit in a waiting room, in a car , in some situations don’t know how to eat a meal without a video playing. Children are growing up with distracted parents and the inability to be just present and focused on what they are doing. We will never go back to a time when people are fully present and focused, where people are actually living their lives instead of being constantly behind a screen. We can’t fight this or do anything about it really, except leave the phone behind and go out and enjoy our own lives.
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 11:15 am
amother [ Smokey ] wrote:
My issue with it has nothing to do with being religious or what’s being watched, read or seen. It’s hardly possible to go on an outing anymore or any social gathering without having most of the people there with their faces in their phone or distracted by their emails, social media, etc. Many children and adults don’t know how to sit in a waiting room, in a car , in some situations don’t know how to eat a meal without a video playing. Children are growing up with distracted parents and the inability to be just present and focused on what they are doing. We will never go back to a time when people are fully present and focused, where people are actually living their lives instead of being constantly behind a screen. We can’t fight this or do anything about it really, except leave the phone behind and go out and enjoy our own lives.


This is a good point, but again, the issue is self control.
I can say that my family IS present and fully focused, actually living our lives instead of being hidden behind our scveens. Our life looks nearly identical to pre-smartphone times, and both me and DH have them.
We make conscious decisions about many aspects of home life/child rearing. Family dinner, family puzzle making, no potching etc etc. Minimal personal phone or computer use when together as a family is just another one
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Fri, Jan 24 2020, 11:53 am
little neshamala wrote:
This is a good point, but again, the issue is self control.
I can say that my family IS present and fully focused, actually living our lives instead of being hidden behind our scveens. Our life looks nearly identical to pre-smartphone times, and both me and DH have them.
We make conscious decisions about many aspects of home life/child rearing. Family dinner, family puzzle making, no potching etc etc. Minimal personal phone or computer use when together as a family is just another one

That is amazing that you are able to refrain and to have your family on board with it, but we were not born into a generation that had smartphones and we still remember what it was like without them and we are capable of living that way. Soon everything is going to be done through the smartphone and it is already happening (think shopping, learning, reading, virtual friends...virtual everything! )Our children will be living through a screen (literally). Some people may like that and think that’s an improvement, but I think it’s sad.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:17 am
amother [ Smokey ] wrote:
Many children and adults don’t know how to sit in a waiting room.


I agree with you but do want to say that I sit in a waiting room with a book, and in a grocery store line with my Tehillim app.
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