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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
It's Production. Not a Ball Game.



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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 9:37 am
Last night was my daughter's high school production. The girls worked their tails off all year for this night. Costumes were ready. Set was set. Hall with a stage was ready. Lights went down... and the cell phone flashlights went on. The the snack bags started opening. Then the chips started crunching. Someone near me decided to indulge in the vinegar chips - that smell went along spectacularly with the dinner someone else brought. There was plenty of time to have dinner before coming. Snacks can wait for after. There was no reason to bring the loudest snack bags you could find, with the crunchiest contents. People around me chatted, not whispered - non stop. People coming and going in the middle of a scene. I can not tell you how many people were on their phones scrolling away. I was THAT person who shushed and asked people to shut off their flashlights.

The weird thing is, I have been to the school production many times and this was the first time I had this experience. I was seated towards the back this year - maybe it was the unofficial bleachers? The women doing the talking did not look familiar, so I am assuming they are regular community members who came for a nice night out - maybe they had no stake in the game and therefor had no issue chatting away?

Ladies, please. I beg you. Respect our kids who work so hard to get to this night.

So here is a friendly reminder.

- If you have to eat, excuse yourself to the lobby.
- If your baby needs a diaper change, change him (in the lobby).
- If you want to see the playbill, wait for the scene to end and check it then with the light of your phone. The room is dark and your phone flashlight is blinding and causes a painful glare when its right behind someone.
- Clap for your kid after her solo. Don't scream her name between every scene for shtick - especially seeing as she was in only 2 dances and otherwise off stage.
- Save chit chat for later. If you MUST talk, do it quietly and between scenes.
- Respect our daughters. This is very likely last time they will have in the spotlight before real life starts.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 9:40 am
People brought babies???
I so agree with you by the way. Snacking is for during intermission (if there is any).
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 9:51 am
thunderstorm wrote:
People brought babies???
I so agree with you by the way. Snacking is for during intermission (if there is any).

There were a few. Near me there was a young child who did not want to be there. There were a lot of things in my community last night so I assume her husband was there and could not bring the kid with. But come ON!

Again, most years were not like this. I think it really was just the people in my area. Next year I will pay for a better seat to avoid this.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 9:54 am
Next year I will request that in lieu of a production, the girls should divide into teams and play a game of football.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 9:58 am
A couple weeks ago I took my 2 DDs to see their school production. I had a similar experience. I was very upset. My kids weren't in the show but I used to be very into theater and I know what it's like to be on stage.
Phones rang. (Is it really so hard to put your phone on silent mode)? Women and girls crunched and munched on everything. Babies cried. Toddlers raced up and down the aisles. Women chatted with each other. Took calls. Older girls played games on their phones or did endless texting.
I felt very upset for the girls in the show who worked so hard.
This was my first time going to a production from this school. I've been for other schools and never saw this. Then again, I was in the "nose bleed" section so maybe things were better down in the front. Anyhow, it was really, really awful.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 10:00 am
There are a lot of people at production who either would rather not be there or find it very difficult. You need to go, regardless of most circumstances. If I am bringing young kids, either because of lack of a babysitter (it's production- you still need to go) or because the young kids want to see their sister, I will sit in the back. That way, I can leave more easily if necessary, especially if I may be going in and out, and I disturb less people. Because young kids will often need to eat to stay (and people should do their best to pack quiet snacks), and if you took them out while they ate you would miss most of it. BTW, I would also sit in the back if I had to eat through the play, because of pregnancy of blood sugar issues etc. And many women are coming straight from work, after a long commute. They get home, get everybody ready, and go.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 10:03 am
At my girls school they don't allow in kids under 10. I've very seldom seen little kids at a school production, they don't belong there.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 10:06 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
There are a lot of people at production who either would rather not be there or find it very difficult. You need to go, regardless of most circumstances.


Huh? Who says? What happens if you don't go?
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 10:06 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
There are a lot of people at production who either would rather not be there or find it very difficult. You need to go, regardless of most circumstances. If I am bringing young kids, either because of lack of a babysitter (it's production- you still need to go) or because the young kids want to see their sister, I will sit in the back. That way, I can leave more easily if necessary, especially if I may be going in and out, and I disturb less people. Because young kids will often need to eat to stay (and people should do their best to pack quiet snacks), and if you took them out while they ate you would miss most of it. BTW, I would also sit in the back if I had to eat through the play, because of pregnancy of blood sugar issues etc. And many women are coming straight from work, after a long commute. They get home, get everybody ready, and go.

Its assigned seating at my daughter's production. People who sat in the back specifically because they wanted to be rude stole from me who was assigned that seat. They stole from the girls who worked for this night. They stole from anyone else who was actually there to support our daughters. The back of the theater is not a soundproof haven. If you would rather not be there, don't go.

Like I said. If you need to eat, leave the room and eat. If that means you miss it, then fine. Why are you more important than anyone else around you? You said if you have to leave every time you need to eat, you will miss the whole play. Well, what do you think you are causing to happen to the people next to you who have no say in the matter? Its mamish geneiva. And why are you more important than the girls who are in the play? If you have pregnancy blood sugar, potato chips is not what will fix it.

Do you really think its ok to make all sorts of noise just because you are in the back of the theater?
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 10:41 am
The school needs to enforce the rules. Regrettably, they need a no eating or drinking policy. No cell phones. No chatting. My daughter's school hired people to stop the nonsense.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 12:38 pm
My school had rented a theater that had rules like no food. It was a children’s theater, so it had a baby room.

In seminary I went to my sister’s seminary play. Between each scene the theater erupted into conversation.

Etiquette at any show should be simple, don’t eat, keep quiet and respect everyone else there (both in the audience and on stage).
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 4:00 pm
Just...wow.The mind boggles.

You NEED to be there? If this is so, I assume you have a friend or relative involved in the show. They”need” you there not to put your toches on a seat so the news photographer can show a picture of a full theater. They need you to listen politely, laugh at the jokes, sniffle at the maudlin parts and applaud enthusiastically at the end.

If you’re going to be disruptive, they need you like a fat lady needs a bikini. Stay home and let the people who weren’t born in a barn do what nobody taught you to do: be a polite audience.
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Flip Flops




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 4:09 pm
I think it depends a lot on where your seat is. Usually the front is for the serious play-watchers.
The back has a lot of younger girls or teenagers who just want to have fun and cheer for their friends.
I've had vastly different experiences based on where my seat was. And thankfully the theater has a no food rule!
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Cheiny




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 4:52 pm
watergirl wrote:
Last night was my daughter's high school production. The girls worked their tails off all year for this night. Costumes were ready. Set was set. Hall with a stage was ready. Lights went down... and the cell phone flashlights went on. The the snack bags started opening. Then the chips started crunching. Someone near me decided to indulge in the vinegar chips - that smell went along spectacularly with the dinner someone else brought. There was plenty of time to have dinner before coming. Snacks can wait for after. There was no reason to bring the loudest snack bags you could find, with the crunchiest contents. People around me chatted, not whispered - non stop. People coming and going in the middle of a scene. I can not tell you how many people were on their phones scrolling away. I was THAT person who shushed and asked people to shut off their flashlights.

The weird thing is, I have been to the school production many times and this was the first time I had this experience. I was seated towards the back this year - maybe it was the unofficial bleachers? The women doing the talking did not look familiar, so I am assuming they are regular community members who came for a nice night out - maybe they had no stake in the game and therefor had no issue chatting away?

Ladies, please. I beg you. Respect our kids who work so hard to get to this night.

So here is a friendly reminder.

- If you have to eat, excuse yourself to the lobby.
- If your baby needs a diaper change, change him (in the lobby).
- If you want to see the playbill, wait for the scene to end and check it then with the light of your phone. The room is dark and your phone flashlight is blinding and causes a painful glare when its right behind someone.
- Clap for your kid after her solo. Don't scream her name between every scene for shtick - especially seeing as she was in only 2 dances and otherwise off stage.
- Save chit chat for later. If you MUST talk, do it quietly and between scenes.
- Respect our daughters. This is very likely last time they will have in the spotlight before real life starts.


I totally agree with you. It’s terrible that these people were so inconsiderate of the time and hard work these girls put into making the production a success, and had no care for their feelings! I think part of the problem is also people’s addiction to their phones. The whole thing is sad.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 4:59 pm
zaq wrote:
Just...wow.The mind boggles.

You NEED to be there? If this is so, I assume you have a friend or relative involved in the show. They”need” you there not to put your toches on a seat so the news photographer can show a picture of a full theater. They need you to listen politely, laugh at the jokes, sniffle at the maudlin parts and applaud enthusiastically at the end.

If you’re going to be disruptive, they need you like a fat lady needs a bikini. Stay home and let the people who weren’t born in a barn do what nobody taught you to do: be a polite audience.


This is disgusting.
Stop with the fat shaming.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 5:00 pm
amother [ Smokey ] wrote:
This is disgusting.
Stop with the fat shaming.

I agree. We get enough of that IRL, we don't need it on this board.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 5:00 pm
Any former Prospect Park girls here? How to be a proper audience member was always stressed. Remember Mrs Schechter?
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 5:12 pm
Flip Flops wrote:
I think it depends a lot on where your seat is. Usually the front is for the serious play-watchers.
The back has a lot of younger girls or teenagers who just want to have fun and cheer for their friends.
I've had vastly different experiences based on where my seat was. And thankfully the theater has a no food rule!

Again. If its assigned seats, you are stealing from the people next to you who had no choice of where to sit. You are stealing from those around you. And the sound carries and yes, it bothers the girls in production.

Maybe the schools should have a showing just for the girls who “just want to have fun and cheer for their friends”. Then the real showing can be for anyone else who can respect everyone else and the people in the show.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 5:20 pm
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
I agree. We get enough of that IRL, we don't need it on this board.


It's all over this board. I've decided to just start calling people out on it. This is abuse. It is damaging. It is wrong.

Stop the fat shaming.
Sorry to hijack.
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