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Do your children do their own laundry?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:49 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
What? Doing one's own laundry is a great learning experience and is very empowering. I wish I had been brought up with a routine of doing it. I didn't start at all until high school, and I had a lot of issues with procrastinating too long, then having to do random loads in the middle of the night or at some other inconvenient time.

And by the way, I'm the amother who some people thought was extreme on another thread because I argued that parents should not be dependent on their kids for running the house, babysitting other kids, and so on. Training kids in how to care for themselves and their belongings is not that.

Edit: also, laundry is one of the easiest and cleanest chores in my opinion, especially if you don't care much about folding. Way easier than handwashing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, or mopping in my opinion.


I agree with you, but a 3 & 5 year old don't need this "empowering learning experience". Let them be little kids. Save it for when they're teens. There's a time and place for everything.
No, parents should not be dependent on kids to run the house, because after all, we did choose to have them. But they should be pitching in with age appropriate chores. A 3 & 5 year old sorting their own laundry is not age appropriate.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:08 pm
My 3yo puts his whites and colors into different hampers
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:11 pm
We have a black and a white laundry bins in the bathroom. This way most laundry is separated as it's taken off and into the bin. I do laundry, but all kids know how and will land a hand when necessary. Same with cooking and baking. The only chore I don't give to kids is cleaning bathrooms.
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thriver




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:20 pm
amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:
I agree with you, but a 3 & 5 year old don't need this "empowering learning experience". Let them be little kids. Save it for when they're teens. There's a time and place for everything.
No, parents should not be dependent on kids to run the house, because after all, we did choose to have them. But they should be pitching in with age appropriate chores. A 3 & 5 year old sorting their own laundry is not age appropriate.


I disagree with you. My kids enjoy helping with laundry and all household chores. It’s all how you sell it. I don’t “force” anyone. They just see me doing it and come and join me. It’s all about your attitude. We love Pesach cleaning here too and all of my kids get involved—younger and older. And they have been since they’ve been big enough to talk and walk. And we have fun!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 7:53 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
I get what you're saying and you have a valid point. But I still would've been pretty mad as a kid if my laundry would be my responsibility. I have enough responsibilities now that I'm an adult, why shouldn't I have had a little bit of a carefree childhood? Children get enough "responsibility practice" doing other stuff, like being on top of their homework.

Regarding the hotel comment, helping out by doing chores like washing dishes and folding laundry is also considered pitching in.


It's funny you say that because I was more resentful as a kid having to wash dinner dishes and babysit my younger siblings. I would not have been resentful having to wash my own clothing; in fact, I'd have enjoyed the empowerment.

For some reason the idea of a child being responsible for his own clothing speaks to me. It just seems right.

Each to their own, I guess.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 10:01 pm
I really don’t get it. 5 kids kn”h. I do a darks load twice a week, lights once a week, whites ones a week, 1 towel load and 1 linen load per week. All require different water temps, machine settings, detergents. It would either be a ridiculous amount of bal tashchis plus huge water and gas bill if each child did their own loads properly sorted, or else each would dump everything in one cold water load and their clothing wouldn’t look as nice, lose all the stains, or last as long. I really just never understood how this system made sense. Like others have said, the kids all sort their clothing when they take them off into the proper hamper for each category, they help carry the hampers to the laundry room, they help hang whatever isn’t going in the dryer, etc. So much more helpful!
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 26 2020, 10:08 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
How is it worthwhile for each kid to do their own laundry?

That just means lots of small loads, how is it more practical than doing everyone's together?


This is what I was going to say.
By us it works like this:
    Either I or my oldest DD put the loads on.
    Either I or one of my kids hang the laundry (we don't have a dryer)
    I sort the dry clothes into piles (only I can distinguish between everyone's clothes/underwear, etc)
    For the younger kids I put their clothes away in their closet, and for the older ones, I leave them a pile on their bed and they put it away.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 1:26 am
Just make sure its coming from a place a wanting to teach them to help and not your disfunction
When I was in highschool I started doing my own laundry because I couldn't rely on my mother to take it all out off the hamper, take it out of machine when wet so that it wuldn't smell, etc.

I would want my kids to help but never to take over.
I also think its a waste of loads.

I did a light load weekly: uniform shirts, underwear, linen, etc.
And darks less often
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 1:32 am
Growing up my parents showed us all how to do laundry by age 10. That way if the laundry hampers were getting full and my parents were busy and not able to do the we could help.
I then started using a laundry basket in my own room and did my own laundry. This system is great if things are very busy and laundry is sometimes forgotten or then its great and not on the parents heads to get everything clean when they might be busy with other things.
I taught my daughter how to use the machine when she was 8 or 9. Sometimes she does a load on her own and sometimes we do a load all together. If children know how its great and not always on the parents heads, thats all.
How could this be a bad thing in any way shape or form?
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 1:49 am
My kids started being responsible for their own laundry around age 11-12. At a certain point, if they were throwing their crumpled up clothes on the floor for me to pick up and wash, and screaming at me that I hadn't washed a particular shirt or whatever, I would (after several unheeded warnings) pass the responsibility on to them. If my kids had been respectful and appreciative of my hard work, then I would have kept doing it for them, but they weren't, so....

It's been a good learning experience for them, and helped them realize the work that goes into things. Clean clothes don't just magically appear, you have to plan ahead.

I will sometimes do a load for them if they're busy, if they ask nicely. And if I'm doing a load for the little kids, they'll often ask if they can throw in a couple of items. I'm fine with that.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 1:56 am
Quote:
Just make sure its coming from a place a wanting to teach them to help and not your disfunction
When I was in highschool I started doing my own laundry because I couldn't rely on my mother to take it all out off the hamper, take it out of machine when wet so that it wuldn't smell, etc.

I feel like the word dysfunction gets used pretty freely. I don't know what your mom was like, and maybe she really was dysfunctional. But in general if a busy mom doesn't stay on top of the laundry it's not dysfunctional, it's just human. People are juggling a lot, and it's hard.
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happyone




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 2:29 am
My children help in other areas. I would not appreciate them doing laundry at any age. I have my own system, and laundry is done daily . I would not want dirty laundry sitting around all week waiting for "laundry day" for any specific child.
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IrenaFr




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 8:32 am
When I was growing up we didn’t have an automatic washer or a dryer. So I did my laundry by hands . We left USSR when I was 18 and I remember doing my laundry for a couple of years before that . It was in a bathtub and very difficult physically.
But my children start doing their laundry in our washer and dryer when they are 13. By that time I just have enough of their not sorted clothes and not helping me in anything so at least they can wash their clothes. They don’t do it very often so no half empty washer, because usually they do it last minute when there are no clean clothes left Smile But it’s their problems .
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 8:37 am
I started in 10th grade. It was a punishment for being super rude to my father who did all the laundry and I actually found that I liked being in control over what got clean when. I think it was a good age to start.

We have a laundry chute so my 9 year old knows his clothes must go down it to get clean. I try to teach him that I am only one person and I can only do so much. I will wash and fold his clothes as long as he takes some responsibility for making sure they get to the washing machine. It works pretty well for us. He will occasionally switch the laundry from washer to dryer if I ask.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 10:09 am
One of my DD's does her own laundry. It was her own choice to do this, and I respect (and even like) that choice. (I often hang it for her and she has no objections.) My next DD has not yet opted to do this, but she has brought it up and is considering it.

OP, I think there are many different variations and ways to distribute household chores, and different things work for different families. If this ends up working for your family, that's great. However, if it doesn't, keep in mind that you have different children with different needs and abilities than your friend does.
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syrima




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 12:55 pm
I think the moms who can't imagine doing this may have very high standards.
Doing laundry is easier if you don't insist on separating colors.
I know, I know, how horrible, but kids outgrow clothing anyway and it works fine for us.
My teens do their stuff all in one load, wash their own delicates by hand, separate hampers.
If they really can't for some reason I help them out, but it's not my sole responsibility.
My dd went on a touring camp this summer, and was so happy she knew how to do her own laundry bc plenty of teen girls apparently can't!
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Mon, Jan 27 2020, 3:22 pm
Wonderful if it’s for the right reason. I always did my own laundry but that was because I had a neglected childhood. But if it’s to show responsibly great!
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finprof




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 28 2020, 5:28 pm
amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:
I'm sorry, but a 3 year old toddler shouldn't be dividing their own laundry and an 8 year old shouldn't be doing their own laundry. Unless mom is incapable, then she should be taking outside help, not have the little kids do their own laundry. Teens are a different story, but having little kids be responsible for their own laundry is just wrong and sad, assuming you're a healthy capable mom.


Agree to disagree. They like helping and we both work full time and can't afford "help" so that's life! Chores were a normal part of my childhood and will continue to be part of my childrens'!

Edited to add they also dust, sweep and vacuum depending on ability. Yes, the 5 year old can vacuum. Plus, I let they play outside in the rain & snow and splash in mud puddles and then have them clean up after themselves. Oh the horror!
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