Who or what did you see outside

iyar

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 3:40 pm

I think this could have been a fun thread. A lot of us express ourselves in the way we dress. Some people have an innate sense of style, some people don’t know what looks good and don’t care. It’s not that different than knowing how to carry a tune, how to whip up a gourmet meal with hardly any ingredients, how to write a poem, how to understand nuclear physics, how to calm a crying baby. Some of us are better at one thing or another.
Sometimes when I’m in a room full of people, waiting for a flight, waiting for a chuppa to start, waiting for a doctor, I like looking around and noticing all the different ways people present themselves. I don’t draw conclusions based on what people are wearing, there’s so much more to a human being. But it can be fun.
The most interesting I saw recently was a room full of women, all wearing identical robes, all waiting for similar medical procedures. I was one of them. I noticed how each one of us carried herself differently and the robe looked different on every person. I wonder if it was my imagination or if the women I saw afterwards when we were all back in our own clothes looked straighter, more poised, more confident. And I wonder how they saw me, or if they even noticed me that day.

iyar

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 3:58 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

This was not the tone of the thread, it was more of a making fun/putting people down.

If you don’t like the tone of a thread, change it. Or go away.
Sometimes something I read tickles my funny bone. I have a feeling though that nobody else is in the mood of laughing just then, so I don’t share.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 4:39 pm

Hard to change the tone when the OP jumps on any (valid) questioning.
And I don't see how making fun of someone's fashion faux pas is something to tickle anyone's funny bone. And it isn't like the title of this thread was very clear either what it was going to be about.

iyar

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:15 pm

So sorry aqua. Sounds like you’re not enjoying this thread. Or my comments. I did not mean to say I found this thread or anything you or anyone else said here funny. I was just giving an example of when I’d leave a thread instead of changing the tone. As in - when I’m laughing but everyone else is serious. Anyway - this is sounding a little like when you try to explain a joke. Poor chance of success. So I’ll be on my way. Hoping the rest of your imamother visit works out better for you.

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:29 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

The problem with threads like these isn't LH per say imo.
There is something ugly about trying to make yourself feel good by putting others down. Could be with fashion, looks, weight, economic choices, school choice etc.
It is not an emotionally healthy thing g to do.
And it's a bad trait for your kids to pick up on (and they will absolutely pick up an attitude like this).

It’s not good to try to read minds, there’s no way u could possibly,know why people like different threads. It’s also good to be Dan lkaf schus.

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:30 pm

cbsp wrote:

I was addressing your defiant point about there not being any names named. I actually wasn't going to comment on this thread at all until you took that position.

As far as threads that name names goes, yes, it makes me very uncomfortable. There are many halachos that discuss publicizing even a rodef - and many of the threads here do not fulfill the requirements.

Did u write on those threads that it was LH?

Elfrida wrote:

I have to say, I'm really not following your logic.

But I am suggesting that this thread be closed, because I really don't see any benefit to it continuing.

Yet u choose to remain here. ??

cbsp

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Did u write on those threads that it was LH?

If hilchos lashon hora are actively being misrepresented then I most likely would have commented. If lh had not already been raised as a caveat on those threads then I might have encountered the same type of attitude you are displaying here and therefore would have been hesitant to point out the need to be careful...

We can decide to pick our battles and I did with this thread because no one can accuse me of trying to sweep anything under any rug by pointing out a potential pitfall of an all out bash fest.

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 5:50 pm

cbsp wrote:

So far I don’t seeing anything bad here. Are you planning to stay?

cbsp

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So far I don’t seeing anything bad here.

That's because you've deflected any attempt to explain that lashon hora can be more than just naming names.

Had you started the thread with something other than "what were members of our community thinking when they committed these fashion faux pas" then maybe there could be a thought that this thread would be insightful or even lighthearted and funny.

But the whole tone is condescending and mean spirited. And then defended as not actually being problematic because no names were named and people are still commenting so it must not be as bad as all that and, besides, you didn't say the threads with names discussing molestation were lashon hora so why are you commenting here....

amother

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:07 pm

cbsp wrote:

Yes u already said that a few times. So what are u waiting for. Report it already and get it over with so no one else is allowed to discuss what we want to.

amother

Rose

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 6:23 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That made you say to yourself—what were they thinking? Serious Fashion faux pas?

I think Pom Pom hats on anyone older than (very young) doesn’t cut it

I wear Pom Pom hats over my sheitel and I’m 30. I look very young and can pass off as 18 but that’s not the point. It’s very practical, comfy, and dare I say it suits me. I get compliments all the time and my husband loves it. When I walk in Manhattan ladies of all ages are wearing them. I really don’t see why it makes you cringe or what the point is of this whole thread.

amother

Natural

Sun, Jan 26 2020, 11:57 pm

cat ear headbands . weird.

skirts with suspenders over big baggy blouses on teen girls. even on young girls it looks weird.

those shoes with massive poufs of fur all around the edge of the heel part. espc on boys. bizarre.

Kiwi13

Mon, Jan 27 2020, 12:12 am

I see how this thread was just intended to be fun, but it’s still kind of mean and will probably make some women feel self conscious. It’s hard enough to feel confident in our appearance without the reminder of others’ critical eyes (whether or not they say anything to our face).

lucky14

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 10:33 pm

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

I wear pom pom hats too. I don't see what's odd about it. I've been wearing them from before they were "stylish" in the frum community. I think they're cute and fun.
btw I'm not the slightest offended that someone thinks this is a fashion no-no. I also still wear shells under my outfits and I know that's been said by some to be so out of style and weird.
I also wear leggins under all of my weekday clothes. I've been doing that before everyone else was doing it also.
LOL I probably am one walking horror show to some of you. But I'm comfy and I think I look fine so....