Publisizing a neis properly

amother

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 10:17 am

zaq wrote:

If you prefer to take out an ad in the Times to announce your miracle, you’re free to do so.

You don't need to pretend it's one extreme or the other.
If the idea is to "publicize" it, well, publicize it.
I think you'd agree that to properly publicize something there should be a certain standard. If I email 5 completely random email addresses simply saying "I lit a candle and a neis happened to me", is that called publicizing the neis? I guess I don't like made up Judaism and I feel that this type of publicizing (anonymously telling anonymous women that a miracle that I want to keep private happened) is a sham.

amother

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 10:55 am

zaq wrote:

Holier than thou much? Live and let live. If you want to tell five of your hs classmates that your vaginal cancer disappeared or your dh left his mistress and came back to you or your abusive husband was kllled falling downstairs just as he was lunging to twist your neck, go right ahead. Just don’t expect others to be quite that open.

I once read an interesting idea called something like "10 rules of arguing fairly". It basically described 10 tactics that are often used in an argument that are unfair. For example:

person A: I think recess is to long. There's no reason the class needs 2 separate hour long breaks.

person B: Oh so you don't think the class should have any recess? Don't you realize that without recess the class will not function???

Obviously person B is taking person A point out of context . Person A never said there shouldn't be ANY recess, only that recess was to long.

You're doing the same thing. I said I feel it's a joke to "publicize" a neis this way and you're responding rhetorically if they should put an ad in the NY times, or if they need to announce they are cured of vaginal cancer.

Obviously (Very obviously) there is a middle ground. If someone wants to publicize a neis, they can at least identify something about the neis.

1. Hashem gave a person a was davening for a refuah.
2. Hashem helped with a shalom bayis issue they were having.
3. Hashem helped with a shidduch for an older single.
4. Hashem helped a child get into a school that was seemingly impossible.

Again, for me this just comes down to made up Judaism. I believe that very often we make up the rules (or change them) to accommodate our needs and make things easier. So in this segula thing it seems there is an inyun to "publicize" the neis. It seems many woman follow thru and have all these questions about exactly when to light the candle, and are very concerned that they do it properly.....but when it comes to the next part of the segula they all simplify it down to a level that is almost certainly not accomplishing what is necessary. If the rav who made the segula said you need to publicize it, then publicize it. Not this completely anonymous fluff that we see here.

amother

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 11:09 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

OP, why are you "amother", and why are you picking a fight with us? If you feel so passionately about the subject, don't you think you should be using your screen name?

What good could you possibly hope to gain by this?

Sorry, I don't mean to pick a fight. I guess I want to hear a logical explanation on how this is properly publicizing. It seems just about everyone feels it's reasonable so I'm just curious about the logic, that's all.
I'm very triggered by things I perceive to be illogical in Judaism. Whether it's many of the apologist answers for the status of women in the Torah, or the behavior of many of the characters in seder beraishis. I simply like things to make sense. So when I see women "publicizing" their neis in a way that (to me) is so obviously not publicizing anything, it makes me a little annoyed and I say, here we go again.

zaq

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 11:18 am

Why do you care so much? How is this any business of yours? Are they harming you in some way? Are you jealous that they saw a yeshua and you didn’t?

If tikun olam is your concern, why not choose something with somewhat greater relevance, like, oh, shmiras haloshon, or tzedakah, or hachnossas orchim, or gemilus chassodim or hadras pnei zkenim or bikur cholim or ahavas Yisrael. Your self-righteous criticism of the way a tiny number of individuals choose to carry out a rather obscure custom that is not even a mitzvah is not only a complete waste of bandwidth but petty in the extreme. It reflects rather badly on you. I suspect you know this, because why else would you post anonymously? If you really believe G-d is on your side, you should post proudly under your own name.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 11:22 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Using "amother" when it's not a matter of absolute privacy is a violation of the board rules. This is especially true if you are going to question someone else's beliefs. What harm is it if you are "SuzieQ" or whatever your screen name is? People want to know who they are talking to, because background matters.

There are also much more respectful ways to ask for information, than to call something "made up Judaism". I would hope that you are intelligent enough to know that those words can come across as extremely insulting. Don't go pretending you just want logic, when you use inflammatory rhetoric.

I'm sure that people will take you more seriously and give you honest answers when you use your screen name and ask a question in a more open minded way. Since you know all the rules of how to derail an argument, I'm sure you know the rules of how to discuss things properly.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 11:22 am

justnwant to say I see opposite extremes. To publicize there news I see people doing illegal or not the most beautiful way of publicizing it. doing extreme behavior to gain attention in the name of publicizing the neis. So your alive now you want to get yourself killed another way! I just heard a story a guy almost got killed by a drunken driver he survived. He made a large party with a lot of drinking that shabbos. one of the drunk shul goers. gets so drunk he gets hit by a car and dies.

amother

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 12:50 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

OP: how dare you do that anonymously.

Also OP: how dare you challenge me for doing this anonymously.

1. I didn't say "how dare you do that anonymously" I am simply questioning how someone is is properly doing the segula when according to the rules of the segula one is required to publicize the miracle and it seems to me that this isn't happening.

2. You are also violating the rules of arguing by making stuff up. Literally. I never said to anyone how dare you challenge me for posting anonymously.

amother

Plum

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 1:41 pm

I feel the publicizing of my neis sort of backfired. I told people about it publicly and instead of spreading inspiration (I'm sure some felt it), many were skeptical and didn't really believe me. Some commented that it was a nice imagination and others just thought I was making some parts up. I have two separate occasions where I did this. One had a seudah hodaa and I gave a long speech but there I was begged not to tell the full part of the neis as it would be in a room full of people and many would not believe and it would make a family member feel a spotlight on them and uncomfortable. I do feel it creates an ayin hara a bit but I was really trying to publicize because it was the kind of thing that can get people really happy and excited.

I regret sharing information sometimes when I feel the message isn't taken in an only positive way. It's such a shame. Some of it may have been too personal and wasn't meant to be shared. Where is the rule for publicizing written? I'd like to see it.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Feb 02 2020, 2:14 pm

I was the one who posted today that I saw a yeshua after lighting for 40 days l’iluy nishmas R’ Menachem Mendel M’Riminov, so I assume OP is addressing me.

Hm. I have told others IRL about my tefilos, and I have thanked Hashem. Maybe I will have a women’s hallel and brunch at my house on Rosh Chodesh. Maybe. Until then, I posted here anonymously because I first read about the segulah here and wanted to follow up and thank those who let me know about it, and secondly, because it’s a small way of publicly acknowledging Hashems goodness in front of a crowd.

I appreciate your comments. At this time, I don’t feel comfortable posting with my name, location, details of my tefilos, but maybe someday.

L25

Mon, Feb 03 2020, 11:20 am

while I can see there may be some benefit to using your screenname to give credance but I don't know that it's necessary to qualify and I really see no problem not stating what it was or it mattering if you know the people or not.

The point is that there was something that you personally was praying for and your tefillos got answered. Why does it matter what it was that you were davening for? You aren't saying it's specifically helpful for shalom bayis or health or whatever, it's a general segula.

And the point is to tell people, why does it matter if you know who you are telling. If you put up a billboard on ocean parkway would that be considered enough publicizing, you have no way to know who walks by. That's not the point?

I've never done this segula, just my thoughts.

amother

Copper

Mon, Feb 03 2020, 2:44 pm

Hi OP, if you are asking in reference to publicizing a nes as part of the segulah of lighting for the Riminover Rebbe, he asked that you publicize that you were given a yeshua after lighting for him, so that others would be inspired to do the same for whatever yeshua THEY need. He did not say to publicize what yeshua you received, because that wasn't his point...his point was to get as many people as possible to light for him, and in return he will be meilitz yosher in shamayim and adding power to tefillos so people can get a yeshua more easily.