Son receiving inappropriate text

amother

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 3:24 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

This is one of those issues where I’m saying to myself- what on earth is the OP thinking—trusting anonymous women she never met—with such a weighty and serious problem concerning her child! Get to a professional yesterday!

who says I'm 'trusting' anonymous women only.. wanted to know if anyone had this experience. Speak to your husbands about how many boys fooled around in yeshiva. I hadn't considered the legality of it, and I appreciate women bringing that up. Also, again, he did not respond anything that would make me thing he's involved with anyone or any thoughts about homosexuality. He got a text. He d idn't respond to it other than stop. I think makign this a big deal, can create a whole different situation, and thoughts he hasn't even thought about.

imasoftov

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 5:07 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Get your child into therapy immediately! You don’t want this to escalate.

I'm curious how a parent would act if they accepted this advice. What sort of therapist would they approach? What would they ask the therapist to treat their child for?

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 5:41 pm

imasoftov wrote:

I'm curious how a parent would act if they accepted this advice. What sort of therapist would they approach? What would they ask the therapist to treat their child for?

She needs professional guidance and from a rabbi too, not suggestions from mothers

Notsobusy

Sun, Feb 09 2020, 6:20 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think you're right. Theres no reason to think your son is gay and no reason to have that conversation with him. The conversation should be about the legal issues and about cutting off a semi friendship with a guy who's inappropriate and who your son anyhow thinks is nuts.

No need for therapists or rabbis, you're obviously an intelligent woman who just needed to hear some other opinions about the situation.

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 12:51 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

She needs professional guidance and from a rabbi too, not suggestions from mothers

actually I can ask advice where I see fit, and I take advice with a grain of salt, including yours. Honestly, I dont see how taking him to a therapist or a rabbi would not make this issue worse than its now. Now its probably not an issue, but keeping my ears and eyes out, and discussing the fact that its illegal.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:05 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

I know someone who went to a professional, and the professional turned out to be a woman who posts online anonymously.

mommyX2

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:06 am

Notsobusy wrote:

this!

DrMom

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 1:07 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Get your child into therapy immediately! You don’t want this to escalate.

Why does her son need therapy?

One of his friends asked him to do something gross and illegal, and he clearly said "STOP" and informed his mother. Sounds like he has his head screwed on straight.

If anyone needs help, it's not OP's son, but his friend.

OP, I'd explain to your son how serious this is, and ask him to sever ties. I'd also inform the other boy's parents. Keep the messages on your phone so you have evidence in case there are more incidents.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 9:26 am

amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:

I know someone who went to a professional, and the professional turned out to be a woman who posts online anonymously.

Aren't we all women who post online anonymously?

amother

Mon, Feb 10 2020, 10:04 am

Thank you all for responding. Sometimes seeking advice from anonymous women makes you realize that you already know what the right thing to do is. I appreciate bringing up the illegality of it. My message to my son was a) its illegal with very serious consequences. b) If anyone makes him uncomfortable, even by text, he needs to be clear that about that and stay away from them.

Secretly I'll be looking out for male attraction, but I dont know what I can do if he is gay. I dont believe in conversion therapy. If I had a gay child I'd actually prefer they go OTD then live in the shame that exists within the frum jewish community for gay people.

I hope you all have a great day.