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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
amother
OP
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:22 pm
Hi,
Anyone any ideas on what I can get my therapist for MM.
Also do you think therapist expect MM, tell me about it please.
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amother
Hotpink
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:35 pm
I think expectations are probably based on local social etiquette, and this may not be the best place to get an opinion.
For the record, I have never given mishloach manot to my therapist. I think it would be crossing the lines from a professional relationship where she is, of course, deeply involved in my life, to a more social kind of relationship. I pay her for her services, and I express thanks and appreciation where she goes beyond what would be expected, but I don't buy her gifts.
I also have a friend who is a therapist, and a few clients give her every year. She tends to bring them home with a rather resigned expression. She can't say no, of course, but it isn't how she wants the relationship to be.
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:35 pm
I don’t plan on giving. I just started and still have no real relationship with her. If I did, I’d probably give something small that has some meaning
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:36 pm
I think cards are always appreciated
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amother
OP
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:45 pm
Right I think the card is the main, I was thinking that Purim is the right time to give a nice card, since I would not be comfortable just giving a card a random time. I feel if I send a card I have to add something to it...
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singleagain
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Right I think the card is the main, I was thinking that Purim is the right time to give a nice card, since I would not be comfortable just giving a card a random time. I feel if I send a card I have to add something to it... |
You don't have to add something with a card.
It actually might be an ethical issue for her to accept something.
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amother
Oak
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:54 pm
I have never given my therapist MM, and I wouldn't dream of doing so. I think it's totally unprofessional and boundary-crossing.
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amother
Lilac
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 3:38 pm
Are we talking about mental health therapist?that would be different, I guess.
Because I'm a playgroup morah and I've seen plenty of parents give their child's speech therapist or other over the years!
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amother
Olive
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Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:40 pm
I asked my frum therapist in Brooklyn and she said she gets at most two every Purim. Not expected. Under normal circumstances there is nothing unethical about a therapist accepting a small gift from a patient.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Feb 14 2020, 9:08 am
Oh thats good to hear, if she only gets like 2 then I guess its really not a must.
I'll prob. just end up writing something nice to her.
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amother
Peach
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Wed, Feb 19 2020, 8:19 pm
I do.
A card and maybe a small box of chocolate or candies
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amother
OP
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:28 am
Whats your opinion, do you think its rather to take it along to the therapist face to face, or send it with someone to her at home?
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amother
Hotpink
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:33 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Whats your opinion, do you think its rather to take it along to the therapist face to face, or send it with someone to her at home? |
Assuming you know her home address...
For you to go to her home uninvited would be a breach of boundaries. To send your husband or children would also feel inappropriate. If you mean sending it with some anonymous shaliach I don't see a problem.
Would you feel embarrassed handing her something directly?
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amother
OP
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:39 am
I'm sort of embarrassed cuz I'm not really confident doing it.
The thing is though that I really have a lot of appreciation to her and would love to show it at one point and I'm trying to figure out how I can do that on a way that I should be conformable and not regret it.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:49 am
singleagain wrote: | You don't have to add something with a card.
It actually might be an ethical issue for her to accept something. |
People are misinformed about this. It’s not unethical for a therapist to accept a small gift. Not expected, OP, but absolutely nothing unethical or unprofessional.
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dankbar
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:51 am
I think rather in office when you go. You can place it onto desk if you dont want to hand it into her hand
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amother
OP
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:40 am
I'm really not comfortable doing so, what if I just skip giving something, so you think it makes a big difference?
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dankbar
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:48 am
Delivery to the house only makes sense if it's a huge thing delivered from company not a choc bar
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singleagain
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:49 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I'm really not comfortable doing so, what if I just skip giving something, so you think it makes a big difference? |
I don't think it's a big deal if you don't give something.
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:57 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I'm really not comfortable doing so, what if I just skip giving something, so you think it makes a big difference? |
No I think that’s perfect! Do what feels good.
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