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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
MM for a Therapist
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:22 pm
Hi,
Anyone any ideas on what I can get my therapist for MM.
Also do you think therapist expect MM, tell me about it please.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:35 pm
I think expectations are probably based on local social etiquette, and this may not be the best place to get an opinion.

For the record, I have never given mishloach manot to my therapist. I think it would be crossing the lines from a professional relationship where she is, of course, deeply involved in my life, to a more social kind of relationship. I pay her for her services, and I express thanks and appreciation where she goes beyond what would be expected, but I don't buy her gifts.

I also have a friend who is a therapist, and a few clients give her every year. She tends to bring them home with a rather resigned expression. She can't say no, of course, but it isn't how she wants the relationship to be.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:35 pm
I don’t plan on giving. I just started and still have no real relationship with her. If I did, I’d probably give something small that has some meaning
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:36 pm
I think cards are always appreciated
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:45 pm
Right I think the card is the main, I was thinking that Purim is the right time to give a nice card, since I would not be comfortable just giving a card a random time. I feel if I send a card I have to add something to it...
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Right I think the card is the main, I was thinking that Purim is the right time to give a nice card, since I would not be comfortable just giving a card a random time. I feel if I send a card I have to add something to it...


You don't have to add something with a card.

It actually might be an ethical issue for her to accept something.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 1:54 pm
I have never given my therapist MM, and I wouldn't dream of doing so. I think it's totally unprofessional and boundary-crossing.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 3:38 pm
Are we talking about mental health therapist?that would be different, I guess.
Because I'm a playgroup morah and I've seen plenty of parents give their child's speech therapist or other over the years!
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amother
Olive


 

Post Thu, Feb 13 2020, 8:40 pm
I asked my frum therapist in Brooklyn and she said she gets at most two every Purim. Not expected. Under normal circumstances there is nothing unethical about a therapist accepting a small gift from a patient.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Feb 14 2020, 9:08 am
Oh thats good to hear, if she only gets like 2 then I guess its really not a must.
I'll prob. just end up writing something nice to her.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Wed, Feb 19 2020, 8:19 pm
I do.

A card and maybe a small box of chocolate or candies
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:28 am
Whats your opinion, do you think its rather to take it along to the therapist face to face, or send it with someone to her at home?
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:33 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Whats your opinion, do you think its rather to take it along to the therapist face to face, or send it with someone to her at home?


Assuming you know her home address...

For you to go to her home uninvited would be a breach of boundaries. To send your husband or children would also feel inappropriate. If you mean sending it with some anonymous shaliach I don't see a problem.

Would you feel embarrassed handing her something directly?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:39 am
I'm sort of embarrassed cuz I'm not really confident doing it.
The thing is though that I really have a lot of appreciation to her and would love to show it at one point and I'm trying to figure out how I can do that on a way that I should be conformable and not regret it.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:49 am
singleagain wrote:
You don't have to add something with a card.

It actually might be an ethical issue for her to accept something.

People are misinformed about this. It’s not unethical for a therapist to accept a small gift. Not expected, OP, but absolutely nothing unethical or unprofessional.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 9:51 am
I think rather in office when you go. You can place it onto desk if you dont want to hand it into her hand
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:40 am
I'm really not comfortable doing so, what if I just skip giving something, so you think it makes a big difference?
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:48 am
Delivery to the house only makes sense if it's a huge thing delivered from company not a choc bar
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:49 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm really not comfortable doing so, what if I just skip giving something, so you think it makes a big difference?


I don't think it's a big deal if you don't give something.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Thu, Feb 20 2020, 10:57 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I'm really not comfortable doing so, what if I just skip giving something, so you think it makes a big difference?

No I think that’s perfect! Do what feels good.
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