WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS ?

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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smile

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 4:54 am

I just wonder what your relationship to your parents is like.
My dh grew up having to respect his parents, which I am not against. I grew up on the other hand, having a close relationship with mine. I can ask or tell them anything I want. in a way they are more like friends than parents. Thruthfully my mother and sister are my best friends. But my husband could not ask or tell anything he wants to his parents. it might be desrespectful. SO I wonder what do you prefer your children to be like with you? Friends or Parent? Question

amother

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 5:01 am

Honestly, from what I've seen most parents (maybe not yours) who try to be their children's friends instead of their children's parents end up with horribly behaved children who have all sorts of problems and issues. I think it's very important to always behave like a parent - and I don't think doing so means not being close with your children.

technic

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 5:08 am

combo!!!

we love that they can talk 2 us and b open w us, but there needs 2 b respect 4 our authority 2...

smile

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 6:33 am

Quote:

Could be true maybe by some but not by us if I may say. Wink

What I mean is not that they are just friends and let us do what we wanted no matter if it was wrong or not. No they told us off or punished us when needed. But otherwise we were friends. You are right they has to be a right balance. What I am saying is that some ppl want the children to have respect and that is it. Which I think might be wrong since the kids don't feel like they can talk to them. And one never knows then, what they want or more important they need.

louche

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 6:49 am

Respect and closeness are not mutually exclusive. The best relationship is one in which children both respect and feel close to parents. If children do not feel they can tell their parents anything, it's not an issue of respect, it's an issue of not feeling close enough to be comfortable confiding in them. I am assuming by "telling them anything" you mean telling them anything about yourself. Children should not feel they can tell their parents anything about them. Pointing out a parent's faults would definitely be an issue of disrespect, not closeness.

I don't think parent should be "friends" with their children. Beloved confidants, yes, but there should be that element of respect that does not exist with one's peers.

cdawnr

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 6:52 am

I think there needs to be a balance.

I alos think you need to recognize that a man's relationship to his parents and a woman's relationship to her parents are often VERY different. Just the way guy friendships and women friendships are different. Guys can go ages without talkiung to each other and it doesn't mean anythign to them emotionally...

chocolate moose

Thu, Dec 20 2007, 8:01 am

Kids can have friends galore, but you can't replace parents.

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