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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Pleas help me, help my child!!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 8:34 pm
I just put down the phone with my son’s principal & am in tears:( I hope some of you can shed some light on my current challenge.
My 8 year old son who is creatively brilliant,
out of the box, kindhearted & super responsible, is also fearless, impulsive, super intense & self directed. His principal let me know (at the conclusion of a lengthy draining conversation) that unless I do something drastic he has one foot out the door. Where do I go from here?? We saw a neurologist & a psychologist where I learned that he does not have adhd, add, anxiety and the like. There is some impulsivity as per the psychologist perhaps stemming from his sensory needs. I feel so lost. Where do I go from here.
Who can I go to, to pinpoint my sons exact issues?
Should I look for asd and who diagnoses that?
He’s sensory seeking & needs to be grounded what can I do about that besides conventional OT?
What therapy modality should I aim for to regulate his emotions? Somatic therapy, play therapy, dir floor time... the list is endless.
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 8:43 pm
Is he currently receiving OT for the sensory issues? That might be a good place to start.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 8:46 pm
Yes. He’s receiving OT, speech and has a p3.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 8:49 pm
You need to reframe your thinking.

There is nothing wrong with your kid.

This particular principal can't handle him.

You should be FUMING IN ANGER , not crying tears.

HKBH will send you to the right place. The principal will be held accountable in Shamayim for his failure with your son. But he will also be comforted when he sees his role in getting your son to the right place.

Good luck.

I know it's hard... Been there and still doing that.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:07 pm
Personally I would adjust his diet to eliminate gluten, dairy, food dyes and sugar. I would give him some calming, nervous system regulating supplements like magnesium, methylated b vitamins, gaba, l theanine, 5htp, phosphatidylserine and the like. The therapies I'd look into would be cranio sacral, with a focus on vagus nerve stimulation and primitive reflex integration, and maybe some kind of brain balance/brain gym kind of thing. Good luck!!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:09 pm
Amother Smokey. I agree with you in theory, but really need to help my child thrive in his current environment and get him the help that he needs.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:12 pm
Is there ANY practitioner that looks at the whole child and can help me figure out the source of the behaviors??
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:21 pm
Op - have you or your child suffered trauma? These are the typical behaviors of ptsd. It mimics adhd.
I would suggest a good play therapist that uses a bit of structure (not fully child-directed).
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is there ANY practitioner that looks at the whole child and can help me figure out the source of the behaviors??


Yes! Amother Pearl is right on the money. Please look into all of that. We are on that track with my child and BH seeing wonderful things so far.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:29 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is there ANY practitioner that looks at the whole child and can help me figure out the source of the behaviors??
A functional medical doctor. There are several in the ny area but they all cost $$$. They are your best bet for getting to the root cause though. And these are interventions that won't mess with your child's real personality. Only tame it, and help him be his best self. Unlike drugs.
Finally Focused by James Greenblatt is a great place to start. Yes it's geared to children with official adhd diagnoses but in the world of holistic healing, the labels don't really matter.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:31 pm
I've heard fantastic things about Dr. Erik Carlin in NYC.

Jacob Robinette is amazing for bodywork. Really makes a big difference.

Can also try Avigail Weiss, I've heard great things about her too.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:43 pm
No trauma, as far as I know.
His diet is already limited due to his pickiness. He eats super healthy meals at home. In school though, that’s another story.. He also takes basic vitamins & cannot fall asleep without melatonin.
When I went to a reflex integration therapist he literally went haywire after the sessions. Something was turned on/stimulated in his brain & she didn’t want to continue with him.
I feel like I first need to know what is the root of all this! Socially he’s suffering too, as he cannot regulate his emotions properly.
Any names of a functional medical doctor? Also what about having a touch of asd? I’m really treading foreign waters here but want to cover all my bases!
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:49 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
No trauma, as far as I know.
His diet is already limited due to his pickiness. He eats super healthy meals at home. In school though, that’s another story.. He also takes basic vitamins & cannot fall asleep without melatonin.
When I went to a reflex integration therapist he literally went haywire after the sessions. Something was turned on/stimulated in his brain & she didn’t want to continue with him.
I feel like I first need to know what is the root of all this! Socially he’s suffering too, as he cannot regulate his emotions properly.
Any names of a functional medical doctor? Also what about having a touch of asd? I’m really treading foreign waters here but want to cover all my bases!
This sounds exactly my child. Very picky eater, can't fall asleep on his own, brilliant and impulsive, emotionally dysregulated, a touch of asd, can't make or keep friends. My child has pandas. If not for the fairly sudden onset, we would likely still be running the therapy/behavioral/psych diagnosis hamster wheel. And contrary to popular myth, the sudden onset clause is not a must for a pandas diagnosis, nor is it predictive of response to treatment. Is this something you have looked into at all?

fwiw, eliminating gluten dairy and sugar will actually help his taste buds expand, because he's probably limiting himself to his opiate foods.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:53 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
This sounds exactly my child. Very picky eater, can't fall asleep on his own, brilliant and impulsive, emotionally dysregulated, a touch of asd, can't make or keep friends. My child has pandas. If not for the fairly sudden onset, we would likely still be running the therapy/behavioral/psych diagnosis hamster wheel. And contrary to popular myth, the sudden onset clause is not a must for a pandas diagnosis, nor is it predictive of response to treatment. Is this something you have looked into at all?

fwiw, eliminating gluten dairy and sugar will actually help his taste buds expand, because he's probably limiting himself to his opiate foods.


Yes, all of this! Amother pearl, you sound like you've been through the wringer, similar to our family. And there are loads of overlapping symptoms with ADHD, ASD, and PANDAS.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:56 pm
I’m doing some Basic bloodwork on him this week. I doubt it’s pandas, he’s been like this ever since! He was a colicky baby and super feisty toddler. He’s off dairy but gluten and sugar he mostly consumes in school. At home it’s lots of protein.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:58 pm
Who do I go to, to rule out or diagnose asd?
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 9:59 pm
If someone were to follow the protocol that amother Pearl said , Then what is there left for a typical boy like that to eat? Real practical suggestions would be so helpful. I have a similar son and know deep down that these things would help him, but I'm always at a loss of what he is able to eat and what he would actually like that fit into this lifestyle. Any suggestions?
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 10:03 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’m doing some Basic bloodwork on him this week. I doubt it’s pandas, he’s been like this ever since! He was a colicky baby and super feisty toddler. He’s off dairy but gluten and sugar he mostly consumes in school. At home it’s lots of protein.
If you were to find elevated strep titers, or indications of other chronic subclinical infections, my recommendations would be exactly the same, except I would add antimicrobials to address whatever infections you are dealing with, and anti inflammatories of some sort to take down the neuro-inflammation.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 10:03 pm
Make sure your OT is really great- not all are the same. Also, make sure to get excersise to carry over at home between sessions. My son is similar and a combination of OT and floortime made a huge difference
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Feb 16 2020, 10:06 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
If someone were to follow the protocol that amother Pearl said , Then what is there left for a typical boy like that to eat? Real practical suggestions would be so helpful. I have a similar son and know deep down that these things would help him, but I'm always at a loss of what he is able to eat and what he would actually like that fit into this lifestyle. Any suggestions?
We have made the switch to gluten free, dairy free and dye free. Limiting sugar is something we are still working on. It was a huge learning curve, but there are so many options these days. At home we do a more paleo style diet, trying to stick to whole foods as much as possible, limiting grains and emphasizing healthy proteins, fats, fruits, vegetables and starchy tubers, but outside the house we allow imitations of gluten and dairy foods, in other words, gluten free junk, which looks identical to gluten junk, except it's gluten free lol. So that they don't get resentful and feel left out. The hardest part is getting them not to eat what everyone else is eating at school/shul/simchas/parties etc.
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