Siblings going away alone without husbands and wives

chanchy123

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 5:08 am

My family did that. We went away for about 3-4 days, just siblings and our parents. It was really amazing for our relationship. The spouces (all husbands) didn't mind staying at home and someone had to stay with the kids. One BIL came along because my sister didn't want to leave her baby. He was more of a babysitter bit did join some of the stuff we did. No one minded.
A few months later my brother got married and invited just the men in the family to a short vacation with my brother, so the husbands had their time away too.
These were not expensive fancy vacations.

blessedflower

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 5:14 am

I think it depends a little. We are planning to do it soon in the future. But we are sisters only. There are no sister in laws yet in the family. So that makes it less offensive. Also it's a mini vacation just one night, maybe two. I don't think longer would be fair to my dh

amother

Olive

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 5:16 am

It wouldn't bother me if he went away with his brothers. He actually did go away once with 1 brother but all siblings girls and boys ya that would bother me. I'd find it strange. We go away with their families often but that's everyone including kids. A sisters holiday is normal too I think. If your dh would be ok with it...

amother

Lime

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 6:59 am

Once in a while for a short trip wouldn't bother me . If it was on a regular basis I would feel excluded and upset .
That being said, I am the one who has 7 sisters .

amother

Mustard

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 7:03 am

Yes it would bother me to be excluded.
A vacation for sisters + sils and a separate one for brothers + bils sounds great.

chanchy123

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 7:38 am

I don't get why a separate vacation for the men and women in the family is acceptable to you but a sibling's only vacation is not. What's the difference?

ttbtbm

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 8:05 am

It would only bother me because my husband and I are so busy with work obligations that it’s hard to find time for US to get away. But if we were able to get away together more frequently then I don’t think I would mind.

amother

Pearl

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 8:06 am

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

I don't understand this at all. Siblings-in-law are now part of the family.
At my sister's chasunah, the photographer wanted to take a family picture without the husbands and wives and we were all very confused.

Why’s that confusing? Don’t all photographers just take family only photos for the parents to have of just there kids? I’ve seen it done many times.

And to answer your question OP I don’t think anything is wrong with a sibling only trip however if it was over a week or even more then 4 days I’d be like Yalla come home. But that’s because if my siblings ever planned a trip I’d go in a heartbeat but not for too long. There’s nothing like your siblings. They’ve seen you in the raw and really get you even if you don’t always get along.

Chayalle

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 9:11 am

I don't think spouses should specifically be excluded.

I've gone places with my siblings without DH, because it didn't work out for DH to come. But he wasn't "not invited" and some of my siblings came with their spouses, and some without, like me.

amother

Coral

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 11:14 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Yes. I think it's totally inappropriate and weird. I would be ok with an only girls getaway (sisters and sisterinlaw) or only men (brother and brothers in law).
But my brother's wife is now my sister. I think it's really strange to exclude them.

I agree if its an all girls getaway or all siblings & sibling in laws it's fine. Just to point out not everyone feels that their brother's wife is now a sister. I know in my family while I adore my sister in laws, they are NOT my sister.

Just One

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:06 pm

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

It's normal to feel that way but not ok to act on it

Simple1

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:16 pm

I would feel bad. For one, I rarely go on vacation, and would feel bad to miss such an opportunity. Also if someone comes from a smaller family with siblings who live far apart, its not like she has her own opportunities for outings, so I can see her feeling left out. Personally this never came up for us either.

amother

Mustard

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:26 pm

chanchy123 wrote:

I don't get why a separate vacation for the men and women in the family is acceptable to you but a sibling's only vacation is not. What's the difference?

Because we are ultra orthodox we have extra modesty rules in front of men, even our own brothers and especially in front of bils.
I would be extra reserved with males around.
Sils to me are like sisters.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:32 pm

I wouldn't mind just curious how it works? Like if DH goes with his sisters, they share a room and he gets his own?

I would be very uncomfortable with DH sharing a room with a sister.

amother

Lemon

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:32 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

In that case your SIL should understand that you want to spend some time with your brother and she comes along it means your other brothers won't feel comfortable.
In my family the male/female factor is an issue, and all spouses are mature enough to realize that as much as everyone loves each other we can only have good wholesome fun if its siblings only.
That said, it never happened yet, but whenever we discuss it, we're all in agreement.
And there are PLENTY of opportunities for EVERYONE to get together.

singleagain

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:40 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

I wouldn't mind just curious how it works? Like if DH goes with his sisters, they share a room and he gets his own?

I would be very uncomfortable with DH sharing a room with a sister.

It's a sister... What's inappropriate about that?

If something is going on... That's just ew.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:42 pm

singleagain wrote:

It's a sister... What's inappropriate about that?

If something is going on... That's just ew.

I didn't say its inappropriate. I said I, as in me personally, would be uncomfortable with the idea.

amother

Lemon

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:44 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

I wouldn't mind just curious how it works? Like if DH goes with his sisters, they share a room and he gets his own?

I would be very uncomfortable with DH sharing a room with a sister.

I believe that's very easy to work out.