Does everyone have for whom to send mishloch munes?

amother

Seagreen

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 8:38 am

perquacky wrote:

They dress up in school for Shushan Purim. Or for whenever the school carnival is--usually some time in Adar.
I've never been creative when it comes to Purim costumes, so trying to figure out what my daughter should wear every year is a bit stressful.

Wow, they're still doing this? We used to do this, it was so much fun.

perquacky

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 8:38 am

There are people in my neighborhood who deliver mishloach manot to those people who may not receive from anyone else--divorced parents, children who may not know many kids in town, home bound people. Every year they put out a message on FB asking for names. It's a truly wonderful thing.

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 8:43 am

Some of my grandchildren have class get together parties where they exchange MM. That eliminates endless running around to give everyone in the class. Teachers have certain hours for the students to visit.

amother

Natural

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 8:50 am

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

That's interesting, we give and don't get a lot back but it never occurred to me to weigh the friendship that way. Often people only give to family or only to people that they need to give a gift to (Rav, teachers etc) since it adds up to give to friends as well. I don't think that the amount of Mishloach Manos we get is a reflection of the depth of our relationships

We only give to
1. Siblings
2. Rebbes & Teachers & assistant teachers
3. Rabbanim
4. Neighbours
5. Friends who gave us we reciprocate but don’t initiate with friends.
6. Children’s friends. - little nosh bag/box.

Some classes have 4 assistants.... it totals close to 60 MM without friends! And besides for being expensive I need TIME to deliver it all!! And each child has at least 4-5 addresses for their own friends.
My husband starts the day with two extra strength Tylenol’s.
Our friends? Who even thought of that?
Maybe 2-3 found time to come for 2.5 seconds while all their kids are jumping in the car, they look bleary eyed just like us, and yeah then we reciprocate. And if we found it at the door we do drive over to reciprocate but I don’t initiate.
I’m just human and there is also the seuda to set up and get to before shkia.
I Love Purim.
But it’s a filling-our-obligations day for me.
Mitzvos hayom and social obligations (dare to forget a Rebbi!!)
Not a friends day.

Oh and I forgot to mention that each teacher gives hrs and that also turns it into a complicated puzzle.
And the kids want to come out by every single teacher and assistant to show their costume some have 7 in total (think morning, afternoon teachers with two assistants each and principal/division head)..... and then their own friends.
My favourite part of the day is motzai purim.
The part when the kids take stock of their nosh and take up individual shelves in my kitchen to store all their goodies and go to sleep with a happy sticky face! :-))

amother

Natural

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 9:09 am

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

My ds who is 6 cried in his room last Purim. It was in the middle of the day with all the comings and goings.. my other kids were busy with the mm they got from their friends... ds6 was in his costume, crying to himself... when I went to him he told me that not one single boy came to bring him mm and now he knows that he has no friends 😢... it was so sad that such a young child could feel so hurt. He had given a neighbor his age, but he was right- there was not one single boy who knocked on the door for him while the other kids were exchanging.

Let me give you a good idea:
Go to his friends first, at least 2.
Then he can’t know, maybe they WOULD come but he came to them first!

amother

Azure

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 9:32 am

That good idea works if they are home when you show up at their door! Otherwise, you leave at their door and still don't get anything from a friend.

I've been there with some sensitive or unlucky-that-year child. It can be hurtful. Or when you go to a girl's house and they take your package and give your daughter an awkward smile and then shut the door because they haven't prepared anything to reciprocate and she's so upset in the car saying she should have just kept her own nosh while you try to validate, sooth, explain and at the same time think about why on earth can't that mom find one single stuipid nosh to give back ON PURIM when everyone is drowning in sugar!!!

amother

Pink

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 11:30 am

I live in a very frum neighborhood. I buy small mishlaoach manos for five people and then recycle.
My siblings. neighbors. friends quickly figured it out.

I give for homebound people. For singles. For the heartbroken who are happy they still count as part of humanity.

Purim costumes is a chance for kids/teens to be whatever they cant be in real life, or to play out their fantasies.
It has nothing to do with me. I am the helper, helping them put together whatever they want. Going their choice of stores/ helping pick online/ or helping them gripe over their adorable hard decison making.
By the time they are teens they have plenty of their own experience and they pleasntly go about it..............
If you are blaming your frum neighborhood, think out of the box, and do it differently...

amother

Blonde

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 11:35 am

imasinger wrote:

I believe the halacha is to give at least 2 ready to eat foods to at least one friend. And that it is not necessary to send to someone who won't otherwise have a seuda, although one should send matanos la'evyonim, or invite them.

See here:
https://www.halachipedia.com/I.....Manot

Mishloach Manos used to be given on other yomim tovim as well.

amother

Taupe

Fri, Feb 21 2020, 12:44 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

That good idea works if they are home when you show up at their door! Otherwise, you leave at their door and still don't get anything from a friend.

I've been there with some sensitive or unlucky-that-year child. It can be hurtful. Or when you go to a girl's house and they take your package and give your daughter an awkward smile and then shut the door because they haven't prepared anything to reciprocate and she's so upset in the car saying she should have just kept her own nosh while you try to validate, sooth,8 explain and at the same time think about why on earth can't that mom find one single stuipid nosh to give back ON PURIM when everyone is drowning in sugar!!!

text the mom first, before you go

amother

White

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 6:45 pm

my dd's school has a scheme of a gorel/lots where every child picks a name of a classmate to give on purim, so that way at least every child in the class will get one mishloach monos.

amother

Cobalt

Sat, Feb 22 2020, 6:55 pm

perquacky wrote:

It's one of the best days of the year!

leaf

Thu, Feb 27 2020, 11:54 am

We drive aroung to give to ppl we know who are living alone - single, divored, widowed, elderly
And then we give to whoever comes to our door, and do some recycling...my husband is a rav so the amts get out of hand.
Our mishloach manos are generally very simple...

Kiwi13

Thu, Feb 27 2020, 12:02 pm

I make a set number, Approx 20-30. I give to the first 20-30 people I meet on Purim. I don’t like the drama and pressure of making lists. I give until I run out. The end. I don’t stress about who gives me, so I hope it works the other way too. 🙂