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My DH has been hiding this for a while and I don't know WTD.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 25 2020, 11:27 pm
Ihatepotatoes wrote:
Oy, but he insists on green milk...


Hold up. Did it TURN green? Cuz... Green milk is how mad cow disease didn't start. Nothing green should go into a human's mouth.
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Ihatepotatoes




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 25 2020, 11:33 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Deep fry EVERYTHING!! Salami, pastrami, macaroni salad.. Regular salad.. Pickles....he'll never see it coming.. (quinoa. You poor thing. And people complain about Shalom Bayis while your husband.. I can't even say it. I will have you in mind when I light candles this week.)
Hug Thanks, that means a lot.... I almost don't recognize the man I married. Once, he used to grill these succulent steaks, now he sounds like he's about to give the quinoa-oat address at a undereaters anonymous meeting...
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afather




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 12:56 am
OP, dunno what you've been seeing, but I met your DH tonight @ 7-11 slurping slurpies and chomping chulent.
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 4:19 am
Shlep him to the rov. Its unacceptable behaviour. Imagine he wouldn't have confided in you? Who knows how long he would've gone on with it. Imagine that. Cheating on the food that sustained you your whole life. And not just any cheating, with something boring, tasteless and bland.
Now you see why you can never blame the wife. He had chocolate and he left it for quinoa. A shanda.
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etg




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 4:34 am
Thanks all for the laugh!!!
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 7:00 am
Pour full fat milk into the green milk carton. Or add some fresh cream.
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 7:42 am
You can slowly retrain him one ketchup chip at a time. Be gentle. Have patience. If you go too fast he may resist and you will be back to square one. There may be a root issue in his childhood that you'll need to explore. Perhaps his first foods were mashed peas? And he is hoping to get back in touch with the baby in him?

Id probably start of with some delicious fried veggies to ease him back to normal. Fried cauliflower, fried artichoke, pastrami wrapped asparagus.

Hatzlacha! Wishing you and your husband much nachos! (Shout to you JF)
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 8:27 am
This could be Stockholm Syndrome. Was he ever kidnapped and imprisoned by, like, a stalker of celery, or killer asparagus? Blessings may be right.

Have you considered therapy? Frontal lobe damage is no joke..

If you're playing the long game with him, no pun, try shortening. Everywhere. It's the next best thing to lard, I think.
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Ihatepotatoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 8:28 am
avrahamama wrote:
You can slowly retrain him one ketchup chip at a time. Be gentle. Have patience. If you go too fast he may resist and you will be back to square one. There may be a root issue in his childhood that you'll need to explore. Perhaps his first foods were mashed peas? And he is hoping to get back in touch with the baby in him?

Id probably start of with some delicious fried veggies to ease him back to normal. Fried cauliflower, fried artichoke, pastrami wrapped asparagus.

Hatzlacha! Wishing you and your husband much nachos! (Shout to you JF)


Thanks for all the responses, I really think we need to go to therapy for this, as you say it might take a while for him to recover. His mother never allowed them to eat nosh, so I'm wondering if you were correct in that assessment. I second the nachos idea..
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Ihatepotatoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 8:29 am
Jewishfoodie wrote:
This could be Stockholm Syndrome. Was he ever kidnapped and imprisoned by, like, a stalker of celery, or killer asparagus? Blessings may be right.

Have you considered therapy? Frontal lobe damage is no joke..

If you're playing the long game with him, no pun, try shortening. Everywhere. It's the next best thing to lard, I think.

He even tried out for a job where they were going to pay him with vegetables, but I told him that the celery was unacceptable.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 8:33 am
Ihatepotatoes wrote:
He even tried out for a job where they were going to pay him with vegetables, but I told him that the celery was unacceptable.


You have to squash such crazy ideas. It sprouts from bean planted in one place too long. He should be working at a restaurant at the very least
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 8:38 am
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Deep fry EVERYTHING!! Salami, pastrami, macaroni salad.. Regular salad.. Pickles....he'll never see it coming.. (quinoa. You poor thing. And people complain about Shalom Bayis while your husband.. I can't even say it. I will have you in mind when I light candles this week.)


And this is why I didn't have my coffee yet. Otherwise, dead keyboard.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 8:54 am
Ihatepotatoes wrote:
He even tried out for a job where they were going to pay him with vegetables, but I told him that the celery was unacceptable.


I wish him a raisin celery, b'karov.
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Ihatepotatoes




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 9:12 am
Jewishfoodie wrote:
You have to squash such crazy ideas. It sprouts from bean planted in one place too long. He should be working at a restaurant at the very least


I know now that if he gets such ideas to turnip down immediately.... Going to be as salad a a rock on that, you herb it here first
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penguin




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 4:38 pm
Quote:
He can join my DH! He was thin to begin with, but now is positively slender. I'm the one who needs to lose 25 pounds, but he's the one on a keto diet.
Mine lost 40 lbs. He did need to. But now I got really jealous. Let's just say I hope to weigh less then DH one day soon.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:30 pm
It's important to eat like a Yid; cholent, kishka, kugel, chopped liver, gribbenes, shnecken, bobka, and rugulach. Don't forget the helzel.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 26 2020, 6:54 pm
southernbubby wrote:
It's important to eat like a Yid; cholent, kishka, kugel, chopped liver, gribbenes, shnecken, bobka, and rugulach. Don't forget the helzel.


And that's just the breakfast menu. Lunch is obviously more calories..
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 27 2020, 7:43 am
Guys you are really talented. I am so enjoying this.
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soap suds




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 27 2020, 8:23 am
I volunteer to organize a Brachos Party. Everyone will eat one unhealthy food from each Bracha, followed by a healthy food, and then another unhealthy, fattening food. This way we surround the bad food with normal food, which is a sure segula for him to change his ways.

Also it's to confuse the satan.
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soap suds




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 27 2020, 8:26 am
Jewishfoodie wrote:
This could be Stockholm Syndrome. Was he ever kidnapped and imprisoned by, like, a stalker of celery, or killer asparagus? Blessings may be right.

Have you considered therapy? Frontal lobe damage is no joke..

If you're playing the long game with him, no pun, try shortening. Everywhere. It's the next best thing to lard, I think.

Finally someone suggested therapy! I can't believe it took this long for it to come up. Should've been the first response.

And how come nobody suggested BC? OP, you must immediately go on BC! Do you really want to bring a child into a situation like this? WHat if s/he grows up to like sprouts?? Can't Believe It
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