Is elitism more prevalent in the frum community than elsewhe

seeker

Thu, Feb 27 2020, 9:54 pm

No, it exists all over. However you might be right that it's more explicit - e.g. I'm not aware of language like "top bochur" in other cultures I know about. Everyone knows who the elites are but it's discussed more subtly or indirectly (e.g. you can say someone went to an ivy league school and that implies they are from the "bessere menschen" but that's not literally the same as saying outright that they're "better")

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 10:17 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

Ha. As a 'not American' figured these posts about "top doctors" was an American thing. New lingo for me.

I think that "top doctor" is a New York thing. My MIL will only to go "top doctors," and she is concerned that when my kids have standard ear infections, they should be seeing "the top ENT." Top doctors by definition are only located in NY.

amother

Olive

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 10:47 am

Arrogant people in general drive me nuts. I never really understood it. Let's say you're a top doctor, a cardiologist. If you're really smart, you would understand that yes, you have knowledge, but there is so much that you DON'T know, in other realms.

The same goes for other areas. Yes, your family is prominent, but there are so many others who are MORE prominent than you. So why the arrogance?

southernbubby

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 11:02 am

What makes a star athlete, singer, performer, etc more valuable to society than a teacher, policeman, clergy member, military personnel etc?
Usually wealthy neighborhoods don't want any low cost housing nearby or businesses that might bring in low income workers.
OTOH, as a BT, I have had to fight to assure my children that they were just as valuable to the Aibishter as children who had yichus. Luckily my grandchildren don't seem to be aware that people are considered more valuable if they have greater yichus or that anyone views them as less valuable.

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 11:04 am

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

No, top doctors are only in Manhattan.

amother

Linen

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 1:02 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I've noticed on this site as well as in the real life frum world, the usage of expressions that seem to imply elitism. Some examples are "top, top person", "well known family", "prominent person in the community" ....
Even in the threads where people talk about a problem they're having, they will start with "no-one would ever dream that I'm having problems but"
It grates my nerves!! For those of you who use these expressions, I really want to know this: What gives you the notion that you are "more special" than the rest of the hoi polloi? Seriously? I'm very curious!

And just by the way, I'm not speaking out of bitterness or envy. I actually have some really known relatives and I could easily use the choshuv name dropping while talking about my family's yichus if I chose to. But I don't, because a. I don't think it makes me more special than anyone else - we're all descendants of Avraham and Sara and b. it's rude.
Rant over. Thank you!

I domt think they mean that no one would think..... because of their yichus.... I think more that to the outside world they fool ppl to think they're a cute couple they dont talk about their issues and they dont argue in public, so them saying ull never dream of.... believe.... cant imagine.... because ppl domt know what goes on behind close doors.

עשו had great yichud but was a big רשע. Yichus is not reason ppl say that.

When ppl say they want top dr, I think they want someone very experienced knowledgable, maybe with specific specialty, with great bed side manners and good reputation, so its quicker to say top dr. And with lots of honors and certificates!

amother

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 2:39 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Exactly! I actually dealt with an ENT specialist who really was a "top dr" (not that he'd ever refer to himself that way) Even though he helped a family member tremendously, he would say that we don't know whether my relative was cured because of what he (the Dr) did, or other unknown factors. He mentioned a few times that there is so much in medicine that is still undiscovered.

The more knowledge an intelligent person acquires, the more he realizes how much more there is that we don't know. Knowledge should make you humble, not arrogant!

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 3:05 pm

Have you ever seen/read Crazy Rich Asians? Don't worry, elitism exists there too. And how!

In general, I have an aversion to anything over-exaggerated. "Top doctor" or "prominent person", etc. automatically implies (to me) that someone is showing off, and really, there's nothing there.

Librarian

Fri, Feb 28 2020, 3:53 pm

seeker wrote:

In other cultures such as WASPs for example, the phrase "our kind" would be used.