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Forum -> Parenting our children
Husband and I parent different
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amother
Beige


 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 1:53 pm
There is a big difference between “gentle parenting” and abusive parenting. At first I was under the impression that you thought anything not “ gentle parenting” is wrong and abusive. But at this point it’s clear you have a real problem on your hands. No bullying allowed. Do whatever it takes to stop it.

But also careful that you don’t swing too far to the direction of everything not done with a hug and a smile is bad. (Just pointing that out because I’ve met some people who think time out is abusive etc. )
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amother
Oak


 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 2:00 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
So aside from providing an income, what else does DH contribute that is positive?

If you had to, could you financially provide for yourself and your children on your own?

(I think you know where I'm going with this...)


Divorce? From reading one post? Seriously?!
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 2:08 pm
your husband is abusing your children and you should leave him as soon as possible
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 7:32 pm
dankbar wrote:
If he never healed from his abuse, make sure he doesn't abuse your kids when you are not there.


Of course! That's something he would never do....he was molested while interviewing for a job by the boss😢....I think child abuse and adult abuse are totally different
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 7:34 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Divorce? From reading one post? Seriously?!


Exactly, so many people jump the gun...you dont need to divorce so quick, men arent disposable goods!

I think I had a few people who truly meant to help me. So first thanks to the one that wrote I'm parenting and his way shouldn't be considerate parenting....

I also want to thank the one that wrote about therapy, will definitely bring it up to him.

I appreciate those that take the time to reply and help!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 7:36 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
There is a big difference between “gentle parenting” and abusive parenting. At first I was under the impression that you thought anything not “ gentle parenting” is wrong and abusive. But at this point it’s clear you have a real problem on your hands. No bullying allowed. Do whatever it takes to stop it.

But also careful that you don’t swing too far to the direction of everything not done with a hug and a smile is bad. (Just pointing that out because I’ve met some people who think time out is abusive etc. )


I dont expect hugs and smiles as my generation didnt grow up....I dont mind if we dont parent the same way, I dont mind if hes mor reserve. But I do mind hiding in the bathroom while I hear shouting!
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 9:05 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I dont expect hugs and smiles as my generation didnt grow up....I dont mind if we dont parent the same way, I dont mind if hes mor reserve. But I do mind hiding in the bathroom while I hear shouting!


My opinion is that you should not be hiding in the bathroom if he is speaking abusively to your kids. You are letting them down.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Sun, Mar 01 2020, 9:12 pm
Your husband sounds very similar to mine. We are finally in therapy after 11 years of marriage, the only way I was able to get him to go was to say it was for me, to couples therapy, but I think he is seeing the value and even hinting at possibly wanting to go just for himself. I never imagined this day would come. He still puts me in impossible positions all the time, caught between putting him down in front of the kids and my children's emotional safety. Like you, I also shut down and run away when it becomes too much. The only saving grace is me knowing that he is not bad, just very very impulsive and extremely anxious. It's fear driving most of his outbursts.
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