What are people doing about Family Smachot in NY

amother

Papaya

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:15 pm

We have a family bar mitzvah this weekend. We are still going. It's walkable from our home so if the coronavirus is in our area we would be exposed anyway from going to shul or school or the supermarket. I don't know if we would have cancelled if we had to fly. Probably. I also don't know if the great-grandmother of the bar mitzvah boy will be coming because she's at an increased risk.

southernbubby

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 8:40 pm

A lot of people are not attending my grandson's Bar Mitzvah due to fears about traveling and being in crowds and of course anyone who is sick is being asked to stay home.

PinkFridge

Wed, Mar 11 2020, 9:36 pm

southernbubby wrote:

A lot of people are not attending my grandson's Bar Mitzvah due to fears about traveling and being in crowds and of course anyone who is sick is being asked to stay home.

Oy. Hope you all enjoy the simcha b'simcha. (And everyone else with smachos, too!)
Mazel tov!

jerseygirl

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 10:08 am

Maybe the good that comes out of all of this will be that weddings and bar mitzvas will be max 100 people. There is no reason for 500+ simchas (coming from someone with a big family...the lists can and should be cut).

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:20 am

my sister is making calls and
telling some close family members not to come to family memebers who live in affected areas
she is only going to walk her child down to the chuppa and leave she is very worried since her husband has underlying health isssues

WhatFor

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 11:34 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm in my 40's. I have had mild seasonal asthma but am currently okay.

My father is in his 70's and lives not far from me. I see him all the time. He has no particular health issues B"H....

I have a sibling who is 1 1/2 years post chemo. I see her every day. We don't really know how good her immunity is right now.

Don't go. The risk you could carry to them is too high. Even if they just need basic hospital treatment, it would be taking away precious hospital resources at a time when it is overburdened. And by the time symptoms appear in them, the hospitals may be unable to provide them with the care they need. Not worth it.

In a worst care scenario, you missed a simcha. The risks outweigh that by far.

Geulanow

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 12:26 pm

BTW, people making weddings in the US in the future might want to consider wedding insurance, in case a wedding would have to be postponed.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 12:59 pm

Geulanow wrote:

BTW, people making weddings in the US in the future might want to consider wedding insurance, in case a wedding would have to be postponed.

It is very rare to postpone a Jewish wedding for any reason.
Besides most insurances don’t cover pandemics.

amother

Thu, Mar 12 2020, 3:26 pm

WhatFor wrote:

I asked my childrens' doctor, and he said he is not yet telling people not to go, I should go. We trust him.

I'm packing up and going. I'll be giving my family speeches about hand-washing the whole way. But we made our best decision possible, and the rest is in Hashem's hands.

Only simchas, everyone.

amother

Fri, Mar 13 2020, 9:21 am

There were empty tables at the wedding.

It was basically family and the friends of Chassan/Kallah. Neighbors, etc...didn't come.

There was something beautiful about it...not so crowded, and everyone really mattered.

PinkFridge

Fri, Mar 13 2020, 11:03 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

It is very rare to postpone a Jewish wedding for any reason.
Besides most insurances don’t cover pandemics.

People aren't postponing chuppahs but they are postponing seudos.

amother

Papaya

Fri, Mar 13 2020, 11:13 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Shuls in my area are now closed. The bar mitzvah family is making a small minyan in a tent in their backyard with a small kiddush in the open air of their front yard for anyone close enough to walk over. They're asking anyone who is even remotely sick to stay home. They cancelled the bigger party that was going to take place after Shabbos. I feel really bad for all the kids whose simchos are being cancelled or postponed because of this virus.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 8:13 am

How are people handling older (over 50) parents who still want to attend family Simcha’s and travel, etc? They are pretty independent and I don’t really think they’ll listen to their concerned children. But I don’t think they truly understand how vulnerable they are and will be able to self-quarantine appropriately if necessary. Ugh. Anyone in the same boat?!

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 8:18 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

My parents are in 60-70 range.
I wouldn’t tell them what to do. They are smart have their minds and have the right to make their own choices.

Most healthy 50 yr olds will not have issues.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 8:23 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

My parents are in 60-70 range.
I wouldn’t tell them what to do. They are smart have their minds and have the right to make their own choices.

Most healthy 50 yr olds will not have issues.

They may not have issues but they can still spread things easily. That’s another concern.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 8:41 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Yup. My 70 yr old in laws went to a bris on Thursday and to shul every day even though my DH begged his father not to. They are not being rational.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 8:56 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

They may not have issues but they can still spread things easily. That’s another concern.

Not more then younger people.

What you are saying is no one should go.
pP was saying she wanted to stop her 50 yr old parents. I don’t think it’s a child’s place. Especially if parents aren’t even old.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 9:01 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Right. But younger people are being extra cautious right now. Schools are closed. Parents are home with their children. Minimal play dates. Not going anywhere unless absolutely necessary. But older people seem to be putting themselves in a different bracket, less concerned about travel, exposure, and spreading the virus than younger families.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Mar 15 2020, 9:04 am

amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:

Not from what I saw. . I was just a simcha. Much more young ppl then old.