Motivating teen DS - coronavirus quarantine

amother

Tue, Mar 17 2020, 10:46 pm

My teen DS has been home from yeshiva since Monday. He won't get up in the morning because "I have nothing to do anyway" and refuses to call in to his Yeshiva's teleconference shiurim. Why? "I don't like it." He says this in a flat, depressed voice. Apparently his plan is to hibernate under his covers for the next who-knows-how-long. And it's not like my house is quiet since the younger kids start their day - loudly! He does put on tefillin and davens (very quickly) when he gets up- some time before chatzos. And he goes out to mincha and maariv minyanim (we still have in my area with small minyanim and 6 feet between each mispallel). He also comes to the kitchen to eat and is passably helpful when he's actually up. If he's interested in a conversation his voice can come to life. Also, he's getting zero physical exercise. He has many friends but he's not even speaking on the phone with them.

We know that he didn't enjoy learning much, which we've been trying to address. And, like many teens, he never liked to get up in the morning. However, he has been 'meeting his obligations' until now.

I feel that we're now watching him self-destruct. We can't even take him to speak with someone now! (He has had 2 sessions with therapists in the past which he did not appreciate...)

Any ideas?

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Mar 18 2020, 12:04 am

Would a specific schedule help?
We printed out a daily schedule with lots of breaks and down time.
Anyone who completes their schedule gets a privilege (I better figure that out) (at first my oldest son complained but I think he is on board now).

We don’t do screen time at all so anything in that sense would be a privilege. I’m thinking of buying ‘fit yid’ or something like that and on days when everything is done the family will do it together. This way it will be exciting because it’s new and it’s excersize.