How would u react towards him

amother

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 2:32 am

Its 2:00 midnight, (morning how u wanna call it) and I hear my son darshen on the phone coming from outside. (Teen ds) its freezing cold , I believe even the deers are hidden, how the hell isnt he afraid to be himself outside?! Thats number1)

2) he doesn't think about the neighbors around

3) its so so so odd to be on the phone this hour in the night .

I did run down tell him that it wasn't mentchlich , and besides its not a time to spend on the phone.

I cant stand whats there to talk an entire night . (He is 15)

He has this thing talking late outside but this hour is unusual. we mentioned to him so many times not to do it he doesnt hear us. I dont know what to think right now . Im in my bed , my bedroom is ontop of my backyard, and I heared him up . I opened the window first , at the time I saw him running in the front to come back inside. He mustve heared me open window. I went to his room the door was locked , I knocked , he opened up while talking on the phone . I really caant!!! Help ! He needs a lecture from us tomorrow. I feel this was crossing a big boundary.

crust

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 2:39 am

Whom is he talking to?

The who the what and the timing would alarm me way more than him crossing a boundary.

My opinion? Nix the boundary lecture tomorrow. Rather, start brainstorming on a long term plan of action on how to get to the bottom of this in a smart way.
Reach out to a professional if you feel you need guidance.

I can't think of one single boy that would be able to talk to my son at this hour but I might just have very sheltered kids.

imasinger

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 6:30 am

I actually think this isn't so abnormal.

A lot of teens are poor at keeping track of time, or noticing that they're being annoying to anyone other than peers.

I'd ask him who he was talking to, and why so late. Maybe he has a camp friend who was feeling suicidal over the whole situation, and thought he was doing pikuach nefesh. Let him know that you love him, and you're here to listen to whatever was going on, when he's ready to talk. Then state the rule, and the reason.

"This is something that maybe you haven't heard because it never was an issue before, but the rule is no going outside the door past X:00, because it disturbs the neighborhood. The rule is also supposed to be going to sleep before X:00, so that you're in good shape for davening the next morning. If something comes up that you feel is more important than the rule, you must check it with one of us, and get permission. Understood?"