Hold it together all day but break down at night

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Forum -> Coronavirus Health Questions

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amother

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 9:49 am

I'm busy with the kids, learning schedules, meals, breaking up fights, cleaning up, bathing, entertaining etc.. plus caring for my husband who is sick in bed for over a week now... During the day, I'm pretty much ok, but come night time when the kids are all sleeping and I'm just checking in on my husband, I fall apart and cry .
I cry for my husband's recovery, I cry because of mommy guilt (yelled too much, allowed too much screen time, didn't give enough attention etc...). I cry because of my messy house and my lack of energy to clean. I cry because of the unknown. I cry because of many huge disappointments that have occurred because of this virus...
Thanks for listening

shanarishona

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 9:51 am

Totally understandable hugs

Ravenclaw

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 10:04 am

Same.

daagahminayin

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 10:06 am

It’s such stressful circumstances that you’re living under. You’re doing great! Seriously. Hang in there, accept the lower standards that we are all adopting to manage. If you need to cry at night that’s ok, too. Get it all out; it’s a release valve so you can continue. Please do whatever you can to take care of yourself, too.

amother

Ruby

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 10:13 am

Mental health line for carona
18448639314

amother

Papaya

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 10:40 am

The only thing you should care about is too much yelling.

Screen time, messy house, not enough att,
THOSE
ARE
NOT
WORRIES
FOR
NOW.

Try to take it easy and create nice memories for the kids from this time.
Nothing else matters

We are all getting by like this, so don’t think you’re different or worse.

aussie2

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 11:21 am

Honestly, I think you are doing amazing considering the circumstances.
I've also been trying to hold it together (at last by day... as I'm sure many moms are).. and yesterday by the time my husband finished working (remotely) I completely lost it.. just had almost no social interaction w/ adults .. was so drained from taking care of e/o all day.. and just needed to escape..

I think if you can hold it together for ur kids during the day ur doing awesome and give urself a pat on the back..

pizza4

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 11:33 am

Yesterday I also was losing it... dh hasn't been well but is feeling better already bh. The kids just got so bored at one point and I gave up entertaining but they weren't figuring it out by themselves... eventually it was time for supper and bed. We did come up with lots of ideas together for the next time a kid gets bored they can look at our list and choose something to do.

OP don't forget to take care of yourself.

behappy2

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 11:42 am

Sometimes too much is just too much.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Mar 25 2020, 12:37 pm

I just broke down and lost it at work. . I was talking with one of my docs about what is going on upstairs in the ICU and how bad it is. I am so darn scared for my family's safety. Her response was "I know, the only advice I have is that when you get home tonight, xxx liquor store is open and they deliver"

ora_43

Thu, Mar 26 2020, 5:08 am

Recently I was talking to dh and for whatever reason the Gulf War came up. Dh's knee-jerk response was "oh yeah. That was awesome!"

Sure, all the adults here in Israel were terrified that they or their families would die - but for a little kid, it was "that time when we got to eat snacks and watch all the movies we wanted" LOL

.

My point - for all that we worry about the fact that our kids are getting however-much screentime a day or eating however-many sugary snacks, someday instead of remembering this as the horrible, stressful time when people were getting sick, they'll remember it as that awesome year when Pesach break was two months long and they got to watch TV. So don't beat yourself up about it.

Refuah shleima to your dh.

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