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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels
Of course it's the women's fault!!
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Mar 25 2020, 3:46 pm
Something only crosses your path if there is a message for you. That is hashgacha protis. No need to call everyone's attention to it, you saw it, the message is for you. Just reflect on how you can grow from the message Hashem is showing you, even in the smallest way.

We are kicked out of our schools and shuls and secluded in our homes, every Rav will tell you it is an unprecedented time for teshuva... some of us need to stop talking in shul, some of us have people we need to ask forgiveness, some of us need to stop speaking lashon hora and rechilus, some of us need to wear less tight pants, and some of us need to check if our clothes and shaitels are what they should be. If we are each brave and honest, we know what we need to do, and why Hashem shows us certain messages...just look inward, the true hallmark of tznius...
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cozyblanket




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:30 am
OK, I hesitate to do this under my SN. And forgive me if I don't explain this well. I'm tired and I'm getting over some kind of weird virus (unconfirmed, of course).

It's not specifically women, men, children, or anyone. It's all of us. Tznius for all of us. Not the length of sheitels. Just focusing on the inside and not on the outside.

What is going on? We are all inside. We can't see each other. We can communicate, but the externals are gone. We don't know why this is really happening, but can we please learn to stop with the shtus of all the externals? The in-brand packpacks, the clothing styles, the need to have new and fancy everything! It has been really getting to me the last few years. If I don't spend unnecessary money, my kids are branded as nerds? If I don't get my sheitel done, wear up-to-date jewelry, and a new outfit for yuntif, I am nebby? Well, guess what? No one will see me this yuntif. No one is using backpacks because school books are staying at home.

Can we stop with these crazy externals? The fancy silver and real wood everything for a chassan and kallah? What kind of life are we setting newlyweds up for if we send the message that you need everything to be so nice and perfect?

I am totally venting and I appreciate you listening. I know this was off topic.

But, to tie it into the OP, it is bothersome to say this is from ONE type of external and not the rest.

For now, we all need to do a lot of chessed in whatever way we can. I can't go out, so I can just text friends to tell them I am thinking of them and send thank you emails to those who work so hard and deserve it.

Did I mention that I am tired and this might not make sense?
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:53 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If you can't commiserate, you're welcome to leave this thread. I guess you don't live in a community where whenever there's a tzara there's always kol koras against the women and their tzenuis.


Let's see this kol Kore because I dont believe it . Where did you see it ?
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:58 am
All kol korehs I saw were for men.
I live in Monsey.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 1:18 am
cozyblanket wrote:
OK, I hesitate to do this under my SN. And forgive me if I don't explain this well. I'm tired and I'm getting over some kind of weird virus (unconfirmed, of course).

It's not specifically women, men, children, or anyone. It's all of us. Tznius for all of us. Not the length of sheitels. Just focusing on the inside and not on the outside.

What is going on? We are all inside. We can't see each other. We can communicate, but the externals are gone. We don't know why this is really happening, but can we please learn to stop with the shtus of all the externals? The in-brand packpacks, the clothing styles, the need to have new and fancy everything! It has been really getting to me the last few years. If I don't spend unnecessary money, my kids are branded as nerds? If I don't get my sheitel done, wear up-to-date jewelry, and a new outfit for yuntif, I am nebby? Well, guess what? No one will see me this yuntif. No one is using backpacks because school books are staying at home.

Can we stop with these crazy externals? The fancy silver and real wood everything for a chassan and kallah? What kind of life are we setting newlyweds up for if we send the message that you need everything to be so nice and perfect?

I am totally venting and I appreciate you listening. I know this was off topic.

But, to tie it into the OP, it is bothersome to say this is from ONE type of external and not the rest.

For now, we all need to do a lot of chessed in whatever way we can. I can't go out, so I can just text friends to tell them I am thinking of them and send thank you emails to those who work so hard and deserve it.

Did I mention that I am tired and this might not make sense?


You are making perfect sense to me. A small minority of us have been saying this for years, but nobody listens.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 1:22 am
cozyblanket wrote:
OK, I hesitate to do this under my SN. And forgive me if I don't explain this well. I'm tired and I'm getting over some kind of weird virus (unconfirmed, of course).

It's not specifically women, men, children, or anyone. It's all of us. Tznius for all of us. Not the length of sheitels. Just focusing on the inside and not on the outside.

What is going on? We are all inside. We can't see each other. We can communicate, but the externals are gone. We don't know why this is really happening, but can we please learn to stop with the shtus of all the externals? The in-brand packpacks, the clothing styles, the need to have new and fancy everything! It has been really getting to me the last few years. If I don't spend unnecessary money, my kids are branded as nerds? If I don't get my sheitel done, wear up-to-date jewelry, and a new outfit for yuntif, I am nebby? Well, guess what? No one will see me this yuntif. No one is using backpacks because school books are staying at home.

Can we stop with these crazy externals? The fancy silver and real wood everything for a chassan and kallah? What kind of life are we setting newlyweds up for if we send the message that you need everything to be so nice and perfect?

I am totally venting and I appreciate you listening. I know this was off topic.

But, to tie it into the OP, it is bothersome to say this is from ONE type of external and not the rest.

For now, we all need to do a lot of chessed in whatever way we can. I can't go out, so I can just text friends to tell them I am thinking of them and send thank you emails to those who work so hard and deserve it.

Did I mention that I am tired and this might not make sense?



This makes all the perfect sense. Stop excusing it, girl!! I am giving you a vertual standing ovation. Yes! Yes! Yes!
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amother
Rose


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 10:42 am
cozyblanket wrote:
OK, I hesitate to do this under my SN. And forgive me if I don't explain this well. I'm tired and I'm getting over some kind of weird virus (unconfirmed, of course).

It's not specifically women, men, children, or anyone. It's all of us. Tznius for all of us. Not the length of sheitels. Just focusing on the inside and not on the outside.

What is going on? We are all inside. We can't see each other. We can communicate, but the externals are gone. We don't know why this is really happening, but can we please learn to stop with the shtus of all the externals? The in-brand packpacks, the clothing styles, the need to have new and fancy everything! It has been really getting to me the last few years. If I don't spend unnecessary money, my kids are branded as nerds? If I don't get my sheitel done, wear up-to-date jewelry, and a new outfit for yuntif, I am nebby? Well, guess what? No one will see me this yuntif. No one is using backpacks because school books are staying at home.

Can we stop with these crazy externals? The fancy silver and real wood everything for a chassan and kallah? What kind of life are we setting newlyweds up for if we send the message that you need everything to be so nice and perfect?

I am totally venting and I appreciate you listening. I know this was off topic.

But, to tie it into the OP, it is bothersome to say this is from ONE type of external and not the rest.

For now, we all need to do a lot of chessed in whatever way we can. I can't go out, so I can just text friends to tell them I am thinking of them and send thank you emails to those who work so hard and deserve it.

Did I mention that I am tired and this might not make sense?


Yes, we can only be true tzanuos when we focus on improving the inside world, and not just the outside world. We need to look at our friends and neighbors and say "When will my shemirah halashon match so and so? When will I have good enough patience like so and so? When will I be able to do a 1/4 of the hachnosos orchim of so and so?" This should replace "When will I have the outfit, backpack, shaitel, house, job, furniture, kavod of so and so?" Build the INNER not the OUTER!!!
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 11:01 am
Does anyone take these seriously? I roll my eyes at every single one and wonder what the individual who is coming out with them is insecure about.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 12:49 pm
No rabbi can tell us why this is happening and certainly people should be looking inward rather than placing the blame on anyone but themselves. BUT Rav Chaim Kanievsky said that one who wishes to protect him or herself should strengthen in matters of shemiras haloshon.
So for our own well-being, we are probably better off keeping things positive as much as possible..
Maybe you want to change this thread to focus on all of the beautiful and random acts of kindness that so many of us are benefiting from?😁
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Mar 26 2020, 1:22 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
No rabbi can tell us why this is happening and certainly people should be looking inward rather than placing the blame on anyone but themselves. BUT Rav Chaim Kanievsky said that one who wishes to protect him or herself should strengthen in matters of shemiras haloshon.
So for our own well-being, we are probably better off keeping things positive as much as possible..
Maybe you want to change this thread to focus on all of the beautiful and random acts of kindness that so many of us are benefiting from?😁


This makes sense. Because shemiras halashon is a general thing without pointing fingers.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 1:37 pm
I'll just point out a month ago, a prominent Sephardi rabbi said it's becuase of pride parades, except IRan, where it's becuase they're trying to annihilate the Jewish people
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 1:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Don't you know by now that every tzara is the womens fault??? Men can do as they please but every time there's a tzara the women and their untzenuis caused it.


I thought everyone knew this

Just as sure as the sun rises in the morning
Slits in skirts and sheitls cause worldwide calamities Banging head Banging head
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 4:00 pm
All absurd, no point in paying attention to such comments.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 4:26 pm
Absurd, as others have said.
In any case, the proportion of frum Jews who have become sick is way higher than their proportion in the population, in almost every country I have heard of - the States, Britain, France, Israel. In Israel I believe they make up 50% of the sick.

There are memes that shuls are now closed as a punishment for talking in shul, etc.
But I came across a funny, subversive meme that said something like this:

They wouldn't let women in their conventions, so now there are no conventions.
They made women sit in the back of the bus, so now there are no buses.
They wouldn't allow equal minyanim with women, so now there are no minyanim.

You can twist these things any way you want.
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itsmeima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 5:06 pm
Anyone who says this is an idiot anyone who believes this is an idiot!
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 5:58 pm
Yesterday at work my boss came up with the theory that we are all being punished for “TINDER “ I personally find that unlikely as I had no idea what it was and after he explained it to me I cannot believe it is really a possible that half the world is utilizing such an app. I am not sure why so many people are being punished but I intend to keep looking inward and strive to improve myself every day do a little tikun olam every day daven every day talk to HaShem every day and try to absorb only the good and selfless acts I hear of every day and file it all away for later. We have all taken so much for granted for so long HaShem wanted us all to figure it out for ourselves each of us can make a difference!
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 6:14 pm
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Yesterday at work my boss came up with the theory that we are all being punished for “TINDER “ I personally find that unlikely as I had no idea what it was and after he explained it to me I cannot believe it is really a possible that half the world is utilizing such an app. I am not sure why so many people are being punished but I intend to keep looking inward and strive to improve myself every day do a little tikun olam every day daven every day talk to HaShem every day and try to absorb only the good and selfless acts I hear of every day and file it all away for later. We have all taken so much for granted for so long HaShem wanted us all to figure it out for ourselves each of us can make a difference!


First of all, yes Tinder is being used by millions. Why not?
Second, Tinder is not only a one-night stand app, people have found spouses that way. It's the modern way of meeting 'at a bar'.
Third, if we are all being punished for Tinder, why are more frum Jews sick than secular?
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Ok1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 31 2020, 11:23 pm
dont you all know that when hashem sends a decree to the world it does not matter if it was sent somewhere in a 3rd world country or to us...hashem is sending us jewish people a message to do tchuvah!
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 1:10 am
Never understood why we haven’t seen any venting going on against the many videos of Sinas Chinam and rechilus that’s are going around. Or the messages that men need to respect the Bais Haknesses more. How about the need to respond Amen with kavanah?? So many of these are around now. We listen, take them to heart and most of us are moved. I’ve personally heard of one recording relating to tznius recently. No Prophesies, just offering suggestions of where we can improve. If you feel you’ve reached the maximum in that area, delve deeper and find something else to work on. Why does Tznius touch such a raw nerve ? It’s a question we all need to ask ourselves.
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