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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 11:39 am
Hello!
I would like to know what, to you, are the physical indications of a frum household.
What do you notice when you go into a home that makes you think this family is frum vs. a house that isn’t?
Could be certain brands of appliances (Braun food processor sticks out to me), certain items used in the kitchen, the kind of art on the walls, the way furniture is set up, decorative items, etc. (Of course seforim and Judaica but other than that!)
This post is just out of a sort of sociological curiosity, nothing to make judgements or anything like that chas v’shalom. I just think homes are very interesting in terms of representing a shared culture.
Looking forward to reading your thoughts!
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amother
Chartreuse
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 11:43 am
Sefarim laying around, or in a bookcase.
Two separate beds in the master.
Two sinks in the kitchen.
If I spy any kippahs.
Snoods/hair coverings hanging anywhere, or shaitels on the dresser, or shaitel boxes anywhere. Or those travel hat boxes the boys have these days.
If they have a seder plate or a menorah or something like that displayed in the formal dining.
I can literally go on and on and on.
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amother
Cobalt
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 11:53 am
In my limited exposure to nonfrum house holds I've noticed
- the lighting is usually brighter in a Frum home
- two eating tables one in dining room and one in or near kitchen (if space allows)
- leather vs fabric couches
Obvs totally anecdotal and you can be very frum without the above. It's just what I've seen.
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amother
Maroon
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:09 pm
I was one time in a home of a religious family but I doubted how knowledgeable they were of Halacha because there was no washing cup in the bathroom and the one by the kitchen sink seemed more decorative than practical. They also hadn’t torn toilet paper or left tissues in the guest bathroom.
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Reality
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:13 pm
As a child, a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman came to our house.
I will never forget the reaction when he came into our living room. Wow! You have a lot of books!
We didn't have any religious neighbors. Nobody else had their entire living room wall covered in floor to ceiling bookcases filled with seforim!
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simba
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:21 pm
A mezuza on the front door for starters.
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HeartyAppetite
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:21 pm
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Reality
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:30 pm
A lot of non religious Jews have a mezuzah on their front door.
In many neighborhoods, having a combination lock on your front door is a pretty good indicator!
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amother
Khaki
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:37 pm
amother [ Maroon ] wrote: | I was one time in a home of a religious family but I doubted how knowledgeable they were of Halacha because there was no washing cup in the bathroom and the one by the kitchen sink seemed more decorative than practical. They also hadn’t torn toilet paper or left tissues in the guest bathroom. |
I don’t have a washing cup in the bathroom on the main floor, and none of my friends do either.
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applesbananas
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 12:38 pm
No wreath hanging on the door?
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chocolate moose
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 1:01 pm
2 beds, if you go into their bedroom.
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avrahamama
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 1:04 pm
A hot plate and urn. Silver. Several sets of dishes. A corner table/shelf with candlesticks. Religious artwork. Tzedaka boxes im various rooms.
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Rachel Shira
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 1:06 pm
Book in the dining room, and in general a ton more books on bookshelves. Other people use bookcases for a mixture of books, decor, baskets of things, etc.
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abs
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 1:13 pm
A name plate on the front door. Bruchim Habaim (made by kids
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amother
Seafoam
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 1:31 pm
Where I live OOT: a lawn that is not as well-kept or landscaped as the neighbors
A well-used minivan
Lots of disposable plates, cutlery and foil pans
Jewish cookbooks
Cute magnets on the fridge with Jewish words of inspiration, Jewish school report cards
Certain board games: Othello, Set, and Jewish versions of games such as Jewish spot-it
Jewish music playing
A cleaning lady not a cleaning service
Tissue paper in the bathroom
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amother
Yellow
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 2:04 pm
amother [ Maroon ] wrote: | I was one time in a home of a religious family but I doubted how knowledgeable they were of Halacha because there was no washing cup in the bathroom and the one by the kitchen sink seemed more decorative than practical. They also hadn’t torn toilet paper or left tissues in the guest bathroom. |
We don’t have washing cup in the bathroom, you aren’t supposed to wash netilas yadayim (even after using the bathroom) in a sink that’s in the bathroom. (Even though “EVERYONE” else does it... doesn’t mean their knowledgeable.) this is Halacha. Straight up.
Was it on shabbos? Otherwise why should there be torn toilet paper?
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amother
Chocolate
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 2:26 pm
Lots and lots of books
Disposables/garbage, especially erev and motzai shabbos/yom tov
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zaq
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 2:32 pm
HeartyAppetite wrote: | Mezuzahs obviously! |
Not necessarily. Many nonfrum people have one because it's traditional. or the previous owner never took it off. or they think of it as a good-luck charm. Occasionally you'll discover that a house with a mezuzah is occupied by someone not Jewish, either because the house is rented from a frum person or because the previous occupant never took it off and the current occupant saw no reason to remove it. I once went to an industrial park where every door had a mezuzah. As it was not in a frum neighborhood, I was pretty sure that not every business there was frum-owned. The property owner, however, was
I think you need to define "nonfrum." Do you mean "totally secular with zero Jewish education or practice and virtually indistinguishable from nonJews;" "possessing Jewish education and observing many traditions but affiliated with a branch of Judaism other than Orthodox;" "affiliated with a branch of Judaism that is less insular than the one with which I am affiliated;" or something else?
I have been to homes with big mezuzahs on the front door, owned by people who smoke and drive to shul on Shabbos and eat in tref restaurants.
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zaq
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Fri, Mar 27 2020, 2:33 pm
abs wrote: | A name plate on the front door. Bruchim Habaim (made by kids |
Again, not necessarily frum. This could just as easily be a secular Israeli or secular-but-with strongly-Jewish-affiliation family.
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