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Telling Mother She Can't Come for Pesach
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Laiya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:05 pm
Even though it sounds like your mother is more at risk for potentially infecting your family than the other way around because she has been going out, you really don't know that. Any exposure could potentially infect someone.

It's possible that your mother did not catch anything from going to stores, but that you or one of your kids is an asymptomatic carrier and can ch"vsh infect her, especially over the course of a 3 day y"t.

And, while no one wants to get sick of course, your mother's age puts her into a high risk category while your family is not (unless they are for other reasons that you haven't mentioned).

It's extremely sad, but, based on what we've been told, everyone should be staying home this year and not have guests or be a guest, especially older parents.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Mon, Mar 30 2020, 6:31 pm
amother [ Linen ] wrote:
Her mother is obviously over 40, probably over 45, possibly over 50.

It's not about simple. There is NO QUESTION what the answer is. This isn't simple for anyone but the guidelines are clear cut.

STAY HOME, STAY SAFE.

Don't invite people. Don't go visit people.

STAY HOME. STAY SAFE.


Stop shouting. Honestly. My grandmother is in her late 80s, and she cannot make Pesach herself. She can't be alone. She can barely walk around and clean up. She will be going to her son, and she's quarantining herself until then and everyone is doing the best you can.

Ask a Rav. Unless you would like to be the one to deliver the psak not to keep Pesach this year? I mean, for some mothers, that's exactly what you're saying in this harsh psak. No guidelines are "clear cut" because no one know what the h*ll is going on.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Mon, Mar 30 2020, 7:35 pm
This is a major shailah. A woman in her mid 70's completely on her own for three days can be a real problem. Would there be someone knocking on her door to check up on her? Is she in an apartment where she really can't leave at all because of stairs, or where she would use the stairs and that would be dangerous? Are there any alternatives, like her buddying up with a peer? The fact that she is unreliable may cement the answer here, but if at all possible, something needs to be figured out.
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NewYorkgal31




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 30 2020, 7:40 pm
Hillery wrote:
You should do the right thing and invite her. You only have one mother, and I'm pretty sure all those times she cleaned up your vomit or fussed over you when you were ill as a child, wasn't pleasant for her either. The torah promises longevity to those who are mechabed your father and mother.

Edit: If you have a clear psak otherwise then of course you listen to the rov. But as a general principle you bend over backwards to accomodate parents. I don't remember the details but one of the tanaaim used to get down on all fours so that his mother could use him as a stepping stool to get on to her bed. But when she told the other tanaaim about it they said that he hasn't even begun to fulfill the mitzvah of kibbed av vaeim.


I am sorry... I respectfully disagree. It is not right for her to invite her... we are not under normal circumstances. One person gets infected that leads to 100”s . I do not think you should have your mother over. If is safe for her and for you.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 30 2020, 7:43 pm
Having her mother over can kill her(elderly mom)/ no. That's not kibbud eim.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 4:50 pm
OP here: Okidokee...I just told her. The town rabbis put out a letter last night that said no guests allowed, even family.

BH, it went OK...She wasn't surprised, and she was happy there was something "official" from the rabbis.

I think I was sadder and more disappointed than she was!
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amother
Linen


 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 5:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
OP here: Okidokee...I just told her. The town rabbis put out a letter last night that said no guests allowed, even family.

BH, it went OK...She wasn't surprised, and she was happy there was something "official" from the rabbis.

I think I was sadder and more disappointed than she was!

Thanks so much for the update! Glad it went over well.
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