Are you girls getting new clothes for pesach?

lilies

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 12:53 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

A million times this! I had no idea people wore clothing to show off. I thought people went all out to celebrate yom tov it's really sad so many people apparently spend money just to show off. It's yom tov whether people will see you or not.

Or you can be like coral and use the money so others can have simchos yom tov too...
It's yom tov whether people will see you or not, but there are many way to prepare for yom tov. Buying clothes is just one of them. Humans are social creatures and society has an effect on us. Whether you fight it or not, it's still there and it has a positive side too.

Did you really have no idea that people wear clothing to show off?!?

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 12:59 pm

I put on maternity recently and my oldest dd grew a ton since last summer so it’s good I did our shopping early. I could technically have survived with what I had from previous pregnancies but dd would really not have had enough, her winter clothes wont be tznius much longer.

Rutabaga

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 1:14 pm

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

I don't know what other people meant, but for my family we only buy washable clothing to wear at home because every one of my kids invariably gets dirty. Shul clothing is generally fancier and costs more but I'm not buying any of that this year since we can't go to shul and I don't want the money going to waste since the kids will likely outgrow it before they have a chance to wear it.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 1:23 pm

Rutabaga wrote:

This. So much judgement on this thread .

First off I never heard of simchas YT to include clothing until Imamother. Never. I never get new clothes for YT. Neither did my Mom neither does my daughter. We get when we need. And yes, in our family we DRESS for shul. Shul is where we wear our nice clothes, new tights and shiny shoes. After shul, we often change into comfy ‘play’ clothes, playground clothes, etc. Additionally we are not makpid on tzinius at home so I certainly wouldn’t be buying shells or tights for us to stay home. And for that reason if a dress is a bit shorter than my 5 year old would wear to shul, that’s ok: we aren’t going to shul! My little girl prefers to be comfortable at home and so do I. I’ve never thought of myself as someone who dresses for the streets (such an odd expression that I heard on here) but rather we dress for the setting. I dress for work in work clothes, I dress for shul in shabbos clothes, I dress for a wedding in formal clothes, but when YT will be spent rolling around my apartment floor playing, no, she won’t be in new clothes.

amother

Puce

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 1:35 pm

I am not buying new clothes either.
We always change when we get home from Shul before lunch anyway. As Amother Scarlet said, we dress for the setting. I do not need people to be uncomfortable, stress about spills and getting dirty and need to have dry cleaning bills (or extra dry cleaning chemicals).

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 1:51 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Simchas YT includes nice clothing and jewelry. It's not some shtick made up by imamother. Of course within reason and according to what you can afford.

I’m not saying its shtick. I’m just saying it’s not something my family is makpid on. I can’t aplogize for it.

Chayalle

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 1:58 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I also dress for the setting. For me, the setting of YT, even at home, includes nice clothes, tights, and shoes. New shells for outfits where last year's is worn out.....

BTW, getting new clothes for YT has sources in Gemarah.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 2:00 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I’m not saying its shtick. I’m just saying it’s not something my family is makpid on. I can’t aplogize for it.

Nobody is asking you to.

It just sounded like you were mocking people who DO think nice clothing is an important part of their simchas YT, whether or not they wear it to shul.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 2:00 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I don’t doubt it. I have since heard this. But it’s not something I grew up with. It’s not something my husband few up with. We are MO is that why? I don’t know. It’s just not a thing in my life.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 2:02 pm

I had purchased my girls new nightgowns in February that they haven't worn yet. So, they'll get those. I'm not buying new dresses, though. Our finances are very uncertain right now because my husband's salary comes from donations, and no one is donating now. I need to make sure we can eat and pay the bills.
If things improve with this situation, I'll buy my girls dresses for Shavuos that they can use for the summer.

I'm going to buy some new games and toys since everyone will be in the house.

Chayalle

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 2:05 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

OK, we all do the things that we grew up with and are familiar with.

I grew up with new clothes on YT, for sure when I was a kid and grew with each season (if we didn't need, we didn't waste money either.) I grew up with wearing my fanciest dress for the seder (I remember one year my brother was Bar Mitzva in March, and my mother let me wear my fancy new dress to the Seder), and dressing up YT morning even if I didn't always go to shul. If I didn't need a new dress, I still wore the nicest one I had.

So for me, it's very much the setting, and I'm doing my best to hold on to whatever normalcy I can right now, despite the situation we find ourselves in.

I imagine many people are doing that, but it may mean different things for some of us.

dancingqueen

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 2:26 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I second all of this. The one upside of all being stuck at home is that we can be extra comfy.

amother

Gray

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 3:31 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Of course, it's all within financial reason. This year especially, some people simply can not afford it. In which case, as always, you need to prioritize. But for those who are not bringing up finances as an issue, I do think the mindset of only buying Yom Tov clothing for others to see is odd. I always make my kids get dressed for the meals on Shabbos and YT, even if it's just us. Afterward, they can change into more comfortable clothing. I specifically wrote Yom Tov/Shabbos clothing, because during the week, stuck at home, I definitely dress very casual now that I'm not going out. But I still put on earrings everyday because I want to feel good about myself Smile

(uh oh, now people will jump on me that I base my self worth on the way I look!)

amother

Yellow

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 3:52 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

(uh oh, now people will jump on me that I base my self worth on the way I look!)

In personally wear nice jewelry, a sheitel, or expensive perfume but am happy to wear a casual outfit (comfy maxi and sweater, vs my typical Jean skirt and sneakers that I wear during the week). So no new outfits are necessary. But I like to dress my kids in a socially appropriate manner for their sake, even if I don't care/they are too young to care. But this yom tov I'll let them wear whatever they want to wear- there are no social expectations to meet.

amother

Wine

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 4:01 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Simchas YT includes nice clothing and jewelry. It's not some shtick made up by imamother. Of course within reason and according to what you can afford.

Gedolim have always spoken about women getting something new for Yom Tov
R’ yaakov said that while clothing and jewelry is the norm a women should get something for Yom Tov she enjoys it could even be cake.

When we get something new or nice we try to do it for shelosh regalim. (Like new clothing is for succos and not Rosh hasgana)

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 4:05 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

Agree with this, but in a time when many people are unexpectedly and suddenly struggling financially, I don't think it is out of place to be sensitive to this and not make a big deal (online or irl conversation over the phone or whatever) about purchases you are making or have been able to do.
I am impressed by the poster who mentioned giving extra maos chittim and waiting for shavuos to make special clothing purchases.

keym

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 4:44 pm

I don't usually buy much for Pesach. Even though it's spring, it's usually way too cold for shorts, short sleeves.
I'll buy a new robe, PJs, or shirt, and after Pesach buy summer stuff after the Pesach rush.
This year, I splurged on books and board games because we're stuck at home.

amother

Wine

Thu, Apr 02 2020, 5:04 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

For sure. Just addresssing those who said they never heard of this.
(Although it would be nice to buy a wife a chocolate bar or fresh fruit or something for Yom Tov - let’s put it as a post on imafather)