Will this new normal last forever?

ora_43

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 1:35 am

Let's take a worst-case scenario with no vaccine and no treatment.

Even then, it won't be like this forever.

For one thing, the virus goes through people faster than new people are born. So we'd get to a point where most people are immune.

For another, the main reason this is such a big deal right now is that the health system can be so completely overwhelmed by it due to the high hospitalization rate. Hospitals are already rushing to get more protective equipment, more ventilators, and to train more doctors on use of ventilators. Forget five years from now, in 2-3 months we'll already be in better shape than now.

And one more reason - viruses "want" to spread. A virus that kills so many people that it can't spread effectively (whether because the host dies, or because of distancing) is less successful than a virus so mild that it can hop from person to person endlessly. Long-term, it's likely that milder strains of the virus will replace the current strain(s).

I think this will probably have a long-term impact; I think we'll all be more aware of how easily viruses can spread, and more careful about things like hand-washing and staying home when sick. But we won't be home forever. Barring any major change, we'll be home for another few weeks, tops.

Mama Bear

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 2:13 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for this post.

Do you think there's a potential for this virus to never go away? For such a deadly disease to continue circulating? It's so scary- it kills people so fast.

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

So with you on that!
My kids love going to sleep a tiny bit later, waking up at a normal hour, being home in a calm relaxed setting. They get to eat normal food 3x a day and dont need 7 snacks a day just to get through the day. They daven and learn beautifully and still have time for drawing, arts and crafts, lego, helping for pesach, etc.
I cant imagine going back to my teens out the door by 7 AM. It's just not normal.

Good for you. For many of us, no school is disastrous.
My 14 yr old bochur NEEDS a quiet beis medrash, or a beis medrash buzzing with torah, to learn. It's impossible for him to find a quiet corner in the house, and he's really letting it out on his little brother.

My 6 yr old is starting to be affected from the social isolation. He cries for no reason. he needs to see people. he needs to see friends. We don't do zoom, and the teleconferences don't hold his attention so much.

And he's not eating normal food at all. Cereal 3 times a day. At least in cheder he ate whatever they serve for breakfast or lunch. I'm too busy to prepare real breakfast/lunch. But that's probalby bc of pesach. to be honest I'm looking forward to after pesach when I'll finally have time to sit down with him and really play with him like a mensch. Instead I'm a nervous wreck, yelling all day at my kids to stop fighting already bc there just won't be food this pesach bc I'm so busy tending to their million little problems and fights all day.

Sigh.

But I thank HaShem for our health... for my husband's job that was only slightly affected, and so forth. I'm not complaining. I just really really need school to be back in May.

not to mention how difficult this no-school is for special needs kids. Mendy is doing okay at Anderson bc the residence is still open, but they need school for structure.

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 8:37 am

Mama Bear wrote:

I hear this is very hard.
Bored kids make everyone miserable. The trick is to provide structure.
How about changing up their schedules? A 6 yr old and 14 yr old can help you for pesach. A 14 yr old can toast cheese and bread for lunch for himself and his brother. A 14 yr old can teach a little brother to play chess, rummikub, monopoly deal, any game. A 6 yr old can call friends and relatives to keep in touch.
Simple nonmessy arts and crafts have kept my kids of all ages entertained.

Ask your kids to make a schedule for today. What time they will learn, what time they will play, what they will play with. Add in a small job they can do for you, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Set rules- they can play with x after they've learned or done y.

Kids shadow our moods. If we're not calm, they're not calm.
What is the frenzy about pesach for? Please try to breathe and relax. Pesach is different this year. The message from the rabbanim was to overlook as much as possible, a calm healthy mother is more important.
Have bitachon that Hashem will help you get everything done on time.

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 8:42 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

I'm not so sure the life before this was so normal either.
Parents rushing out early morning, working hard, some till late hours.
The school system, cooping up the kids inside for 8-9 hours a day.
And for frum life:
The frantic shopping before a new season.
The socializing in shul.
The extravagant simchas that most can't afford.
A messed up school system with vaads in control.

The only thing not normal right now is the people getting sick or the people passing away R"L.

Is the whole family being together less normal than the family never getting to see one another only on weekends.
Is getting married in the backyard less normal than the 100k wedding, the community collected for?
Is the pressure of having to shop new dresses and matching shoes more normal than not having to shop at all?

Perhaps both are not normal, and this is the message Hashem wants us to get. Find a new normal, and find a normal normal. Because the normal that you think was normal was not normal either.

Your post sounds wonderful if a parent is available.

DH and I must still work full time.

My children at home are as neglected as ever.

My boys wish for more learning. More structure

They really are so wonderful but a structured day of cleaning, learning and watching their siblings doesn’t cut it.

It’s great if you aren’t working - but how do you put food on the table. That isn’t a good normal.

amother

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 9:17 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

How are you managing this with Pesach cleaning and prep.
What normal foods are you making them?
I wish I could describe my house the way you describe yours. Right now, things are stressful and hectic here. It's rough.

amother

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 9:20 am

The sad reality is that many ppl, it not most ppl, are dying bc the hospitals are so overwhelmed that inevitably neglect happens. There's a 23 yr old in critical condition bc he choked while throwing up bc no one was there to hand him a basin and he was too weak to sit up and they couldn't get to him in time bc they're so overwhelmed.

And other such stories.

It's not just the virus killing ppl but the collapsing healthcare system. It's terrible.

Is this really the case? This is terrifying. A perfectly healthy man in his 50s that I know died in a matter of 3 days. I'm trying to figure out what happened. It's so scary. He leaves behind a wife and six kids. I'm so sad for them. This whole thing is so tragic.

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 9:20 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

With so many people liking this, why don't we all consider starting the change when life can resume? There won't be any one person standing up and instituting new guidelines for society, but if we all individually make the effort to create a new normal normal, it will have an amazing impact. One by one we can change society.

It's a challenge, but we can do it!

amother

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 9:25 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

You sound like a great mom. Thanks for all the ideas.

mommy2379

Fri, Apr 03 2020, 9:34 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

Beautiful.

Mama Bear

Mon, Apr 06 2020, 2:03 am

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

I would love to do all the above but it's impossible before Pesach. I can barely concentrate.
I'm talking about cooking for pesach. not even cleaning. there is so much food that has to be cooked. I don't cook on yomtov for a variety of reasons. And my husband and bochur don't eat store-bought things so I'm baking and baking. There is a LOT to do . Not cleaning. Just cooking.

I'm so busy breaking up their fights and tending to their 100,000 problems and trying to keep the little one on his teleconference and keeping my mother company as she's isolated and lonely... I don't get to eat breakfast before 2 pm. I have lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks.

Your ideas may make sense to you but they wouldnt work in my house. Yes, they want to help me for pesach but on their own terms, and they make an even bigger mess. I'm not relaxed enough to handle it all now.

Looking forward for after pesach, when at least if this quarantine continues, I dont' have anything pressing to do and can actually engage with my kids.