Disappointed | Imamother

amother

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 2:23 pm

I never thought I would be making pesach without my family. Thinking about it my parents seder did have some drawbacks. My Mom would get nervous from all her hard work and end up falling asleep and dad would end the seder very late. but with small kids and no money. we would move in it wouldn't cost us a penny the whole peach. We had built in young aunts for entertainment for our kids so we could tale naps. this was the one time a year that the grandparent truly got to bond and see my kids personality We will miss it. but most of all I am very sentimental of our pesach table. On pesach our silver came out, wine bottles came out beautiful ka'ara came out dishes for maror and choruses came out.We got no new clothing, With no cleaning help and 4 little kids under 7 my house won't sparkle and shine its just not possible we will do everything as cheap as we could I will buy nice plastic dishes and spoons. We still don't have a kara yet and everything else will be cheap plastic. No glass cups. no silver wash cup with matching bowl no large silver kos shel eliahu hanavi. I would buy one more pretty and cheap pesach item dh still got his pesach bonus b'h we are very lucky but What can I do to change my attitude. I know I should be happy were all healthy,. appreciate the attention and bonding we parent can do for our kids, know that its the right thing to do for the world for preventing others from getting sick with good social distancing. feel lucky. but in reality its hard. and I'm so disapointed that. Ideas plead

simcha2

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 3:15 pm

Here's how I'm looking at it. I don't need silver and glass, I'm making new traditions. I gave my 4 year olds a plastic tumbler and sharpies and with with that beautiful thing she made, lichvod yom tov, we will wash our hands.
Our divrei torah will be the silver on the table.

Our small seder shall be a zechut for a refua shleima for my father who is in hospital by himself. Our singing will travel across the ocean to my mother who will be having a seder by herself. And when we get to lshana haba at the end we'll picture next year, when we'll be reunited and the people will outshine the silverware.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 7:10 pm

You should let yourself feel disappointed. I hope that afterward you'll be able to reframe and hatzlacha doing so.
There won't be too many of us if it'll just be the nuclear family. I'm taking it easy. I'm not letting dd do dishes so we have some clear plasticplates , some colored plastic, and some pretty napkins that match the colors.

It will be beautiful.
You will be giving Hashem incredible nachas! Don't doubt it for a minute!

amother

Violet

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 7:20 pm

simcha2 wrote:

This is one of the most beautiful things I've read on Imamother Hug

avrahamama

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 7:22 pm

You will be giving HKBH nachat! Let the kids make a kriat yam suf with whatever toys they have mentchies, clics, Legos, let them use their stuffed animals and toys animals to make makot. You will see there is so much you can beautify your night and table with and it has nothing to do with silver.

Sometimes I feel that the silver and crystal and etc is a distraction from the real story of Pesach. (We have just my husband silver cup and that's it)

There are things I may have wanted. And the list was BH short. But this year I want nothing more than to greet Eliyahu HaNavi. It's all I can dream about. To greet my imahot.

imorethanamother

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 7:23 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

I don't own fancy silver pesach things but we been making pesach for years and we create a yomsuf table scape it's do much fun and exciting for the kids goggle it so many different ways to do it .

What a great idea!

Also, OP, think about what makes Hashem happy. Did Hillel, who was famously poor, not have a beautiful Pesach?

I too miss the one time a year I see my family. It’s really hard. But I’m excited to make a special seder geared completely to my own children. A shiur I listened to said that we should try to re-enact the whole יציאת מצרים as much as possible. That sounds like so much fun! I wanna pack some “bags” with my little kids and say let’s take everything and go! I couldn’t do this with my parents.

We have been exiled from Hashem’s presence. Maybe it’s part of the experience, to not have our best China and silver, as part of that mourning. But we can love each other and take care of each other. We can send each other pictures and notes and divrei Torah and flowers. We can call and zoom and check in on our most vulnerable. And maybe Hashem will see that, and the way we treat our spouses and our children, and will let us come back.