S/O grief no public shiva

amother

Tue, Apr 07 2020, 8:29 pm

Is anyone angry at Hashem?
I read the above thread and didn’t want to pose my question there....
BUT it’s SUCH a hard time for us connected Jews. When I see videos of schoools closed, Shuls closed, the new song with abey rottenberg & baruch Levine, I cry such sad tears.
What also astounds me is that I sometimes text my non Jewish co worker. I’m laid off and she’s still working part time. She knows NOBODY who is sick. Nobody. Why????
My brother, sister in law, 2 nephews have it and that’s just off the top of my head. Every day new names are added to my tihillim list.
I was never a Davener before this happened. One day 3 weeks ago I picked up a siddur in the morning and Davened shacharis
And mincha since. But I don’t feel spiritually uplifted.

amother

Wed, Apr 08 2020, 8:09 am

I think that Purim was the catalyst of the frum community getting it so rampantly.
From small ‘intimate’ (6 family member) Parties, larger parties, crashing parties, mishulachim, people travelling parties. You get my point. All in the name of a holy, very by the book, Jewish holiday. & due to this, the frum world gets the horrible magayfah.
I know Hashem runs the world and there is a bigger plan. But if Purim didn’t happen, a lot of frum people wouldn’t have caught it. So by doing what Hashem wants us to do, we got sick. & I can’t wrap my head around that.
I probably will get told off by the holier than thous, but I’m venting what I can’t say aloud in my real life.
Someone said to me that she feels Hashem holding her hand throughout this time. I am envious of her....

amother

Wed, Apr 08 2020, 8:35 am

Rappel wrote:

Your social circle may also just be larger than your friend's - especially with our interconnected community. I don't personally know anyone who is sick, but you'd have to be living under a rock not to know OF anyone who is sick. That's probably how it is for your coworker.

She doesn’t live under a rock. That’s the thing.
She has a larger social circle than me.
I’m not that social. Lol.
But many members of my immediate family have gotten the virus. Thank Gd they are on the mend.

My faith has been shaken.

Notsobusy

Wed, Apr 08 2020, 8:59 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My non Jewish coworker told me she lost a few friends. Shes African American and goes to church and is very much part of a community. It's possible that there was a lot of congregating in her community early on, like by us Frum Jews, and that's why shes also seeing a lot of it.

But a non Frum coworker told me a couple weeks ago about a few people she knows who are sick and by her it wasn't all her community.

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Apr 08 2020, 9:15 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Many non-Jews are dying. In fact, the media and some of our politicians are already spinning this and claiming that this is affecting more minorities than non-minorities. And we know that they consider jews to be "white" and not a minority so we are not included in their rhetoric. So you cant judge anything based on one non-Jewish person. Lets hope that this blows over before Pesach ends.

https://www.nydailynews.com/ne.....GiDYc

amother

White

Wed, Apr 08 2020, 9:37 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Maybe none of her friends went to shul or a bas mitzvah. Maybe she has healthier lifestyle social circles, or not house of worship going, or don't travel much this time of year to Asia & Europe. Maybe Hashem wanted these people back now. And not those. Lots of shuls had people who traveled to China and Italy. Lots of diabetics & underlying cardiovascular. Maybe her circles live one or two per home. Less dense. Maybe her circles is way more female than male. Maybe your faith is intentionally being tested. And you know someone always wins the lottery eventually. If G-d didn't want this to happen, it wouldn't have. Easily could have been a week earlier before Purim that society closed in the usa. Maybe her community is better at following social distancing directives. Maybe non of her friends went to shul and in your circles all it takes is one person going to shul to spread it to the whole bunch. If someone is exposed chances are very very very high they shed and spread. Also the first known local case was frum. Maybe there was one symptomless man who had done business in China on a flight from FL to NY who Gd said should sit next to this guy. Shul & simchos spread it far and wide. Because of Jewish geography. Chassidim are not so far removed from MO as you'd think. If first person was in her circles, they'd have it more. You think any thing is by chance? I am taking it different than you. Statistically, it very unlikely the first known person in us is frum. But it is. Gd wants it this way. Gd is loving and good but sometimes it comes across as a parent saying " eat your broccoli " and "go to bed" now. Maybe just appreciate that Gd healed. But I hope your feelings of confusion and upsetness resolve. It is a natural human reaction that you are feeling. I believe many people would have a same gut kick reaction. I know I did too. So then I reminded myself of my faith. And the rest of my sleepless disorganized ramblings.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Apr 08 2020, 10:26 am

Rappel wrote:

this. I used to work in a company with non jews only. I was mostly their kossel,they used to tell me all their trouble. The majority had maybe 2 friends. and maybe 1parent. most had no siblings or one. A lot had a few ex'es. They didn't know one parent or no contact. or dead. Or they did have.. Neighbors were maybe 1or 2... Now count your family and relatives and compare to their list. now start throwing the bananas....