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Forum
-> Coronavirus Health Questions
sequoia
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 Sat, Apr 04 2020, 2:07 pm
So this really happened.
My mom said to my grandpa, “maybe I won’t come for a while, because I don’t want to infect You.” He replied, “I didn’t hear anything about people over 100 being in the risk group.”
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Brigadia
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Sat, Apr 04 2020, 10:27 pm
The time has come
the time is now
just go, go, GO
I don't care how
you can go by herd immunity
you can go by vaccine
just leave immediately
COVID-19!
we need you to leave
there is yom tov to make
there is wine to buy
matzos to bake
I don't care how,
you can go via WHO
just go, go, GO
please do, do, DO!
2019 Novel Coronavirus
I don't care how,
2019 Novel Coronavirus
will you please go now!
there is clothing to purchase
davening to do
the shuls need to open
we don't want you!
go through our tefillos
go through our caring
go through our Torah
go through our sharing
those are three pillars
on which the world stands
which we are supporting
(just don't shake hands)
go 'cause we're humbled
go 'cause we've seen
that Hashem's in control
gone's our routine
The Geula, we're ready
the korban Pesach to eat,
in Yerushalayim,
Moshiach to meet.
I said GO
and GO I meant
the time had come
so
the virus went.
kein yehi ratzon
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Notsobusy
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Sun, Apr 05 2020, 2:48 am
| Brigadia wrote: | The time has come
the time is now
just go, go, GO
I don't care how
you can go by herd immunity
you can go by vaccine
just leave immediately
COVID-19!
we need you to leave
there is yom tov to make
there is wine to buy
matzos to bake
I don't care how,
you can go via WHO
just go, go, GO
please do, do, DO!
2019 Novel Coronavirus
I don't care how,
2019 Novel Coronavirus
will you please go now!
there is clothing to purchase
davening to do
the shuls need to open
we don't want you!
go through our tefillos
go through our caring
go through our Torah
go through our sharing
those are three pillars
on which the world stands
which we are supporting
(just don't shake hands)
go 'cause we're humbled
go 'cause we've seen
that Hashem's in control
gone's our routine
The Geula, we're ready
the korban Pesach to eat,
in Yerushalayim,
Moshiach to meet.
I said GO
and GO I meant
the time had come
so
the virus went.
kein yehi ratzon |
I love it. It's one of my favorite kid books and this was done so well!
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daagahminayin
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Sun, Apr 05 2020, 2:54 am
DD4: Mommy, I davened to Hashem to make everyone feel better!
Me: That’s so wonderful! I didn’t see you daven - when did you do it?
DD4: This morning when I went to the bathroom.
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Ora in town
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Sun, Apr 05 2020, 3:48 am
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If the children don't go back to school soon, the moms will find a vaccine before the scientists do!!
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DallasIma
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Sun, Apr 05 2020, 10:09 am
The Torah Speaks of Four Kinds of People Who Use Zoom:
The Wise
The Wicked
The Simple
The One Who Does Not Know How to “Mute”
The Wise Person says: “I’ll handle the Admin Feature Controls and Chat Rooms, and forward the Cloud Recording Transcript after the call.”
The Wicked Person says: “Since I have unlimited duration, I scheduled the meeting for six hours—as it says in the Haggadah, whoever prolongs the telling of the story, harei zeh ‘shubach, is praiseworthy.”
The Simple Person says: “Hello? Am I on? I can hear you but I can’t see you.”
[Jerusalem Talmud reads here: “I can see you, but I can’t hear you.”]
The One Who Does Not Know How to Mute says: “How should I know where you put the keys? I’m stuck on this stupid Zoom call with these idiots.”
To the Wise Person you should offer all of the Zoom Pro Optional Add-On Plans.
To the Wicked Person you should say: “Had you been in charge, we would still be in Egypt.”
To the Simple Person you should say: “Try the call-in number instead.”
To the One Who Does Not Know How to Mute you should say: “Why should this night be different from all other nights?”
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, Apr 05 2020, 1:46 pm
Apologies if this has been posted before:
Due to the quarantine, I'll be telling a lot more inside jokes.
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mamma llama
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Sun, Apr 05 2020, 5:06 pm
I posted this in another thread, but I feel like it belongs here too...
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ora_43
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Wed, Apr 08 2020, 11:45 am
translation: "Mr. Tishbi, 'prophet' is not an essential profession. That will be 500 shekels."
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amother
Coral
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Sun, Apr 12 2020, 1:30 am
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PinkFridge
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Mon, Apr 13 2020, 10:11 am
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I wish I could open this stuff! But at least I got ora's punchline ;-D
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singleagain
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Mon, Apr 13 2020, 10:46 am
| Aylat wrote: |  |
This is brilliant
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amother
Coral
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Mon, Apr 13 2020, 6:55 pm
| PinkFridge wrote: | | I wish I could open this stuff! But at least I got ora's punchline ;-D |
Since we're all on house arrest, we should all be issued a get out of jail free card.
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amother
Slateblue
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Mon, Apr 13 2020, 7:30 pm
Fiddler on the Roof parody
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