Do you think anything will change? After this is over....

sneakermom

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 10:31 pm

For this reason the Lubavicher rebbe encouraged teachers of Torah to incorporate a practical Kabbalah or mitzvah in their speeches that people could take that away besides for the inspiration that feels so uplifting but has no grounds to stand on.

I saw a man approach the Rebbe and describe how beautiful a particular Rebbe’s Tisch was. The Rebbe kept pressing him, (not quoting directly) and what did you take out of it, what are you going to do?

If we decide now. Commit to a small change. It can make a big difference.

Mommyg8

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 10:46 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

Maybe I'm just a naive out of towner...But I was honestly shocked at the price tag of some of the weddings featured in the mishpacha article. A wedding for 90k+ made by people who live paycheck to paycheck yet refused to go in debt to marry off their children? Can I assume they got the money by collecting it then??? How crazy and sad.

It doesn't sound like they got it collecting, it sounds like they had it saved up. It doesn't say that straight out in the story but I thought that was implied.

Mommyg8

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 10:48 pm

watergirl wrote:

Same. If those people are honestly living paycheck to paycheck, those must be some massive checks! There is no possible way for them to have come up with this money if they live this way and as indicated in the article have no savings. And if thats TRULY the case, there would be no money available to spend that kind of money. That women said she bought her son 2 streimals (6k!!!). I cant imagine why that would be necessary. And she also picked that time to splurge on a diamond bracelet for herself (3k) and a new streimal for her husband (2k). And she spent $13,940 on jewelry for the kallah. This couple got 18k worth of dining and bedroom furniture. My mind can not fathom what that would even look like. And in an apartment yet! Shame on Mishpacha for publishing that.

I call bologna on this “reporting”.

Why do you think its boloney? These are the true numbers, ask anyone who made a wedding in that community.

I assumed that they had saved this money up over the years, by not going on vacations, etc.

amother

Blue

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 11:00 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

It doesn't sound like they got it collecting, it sounds like they had it saved up. It doesn't say that straight out in the story but I thought that was implied.

I was thinking that, too, at first. But, thinking on it for a bit, I think they didn't want to come right out and say where they got the money. Or maybe the magazine didn't push them on this. Because, iirc, correctly they said it was their first kid they were marrying off? So, assuming they plan to marry off all their others in similar style. And let's say they have 10 kids...wow. Unless you have an absolutely fabulous salary/business profit(and they made it sound as though they don't, especially) to have saved 10× 90k is an enormous sum of money and I don't think is possible on regular type salaries to be quite frank, even if you don't go on vacation and live simply.
Even if they have somehow managed to save up 90k for this wedding I highly doubt they have that degree of savings for their upcoming children.

amother

Amber

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 11:08 pm

Actually, I just saw the simchainitiative.org on theyeshivaworld. And it is by rabbi raisman and other rabbis who are asking ppl to sign up and pledge to make simple weddings...almost 900 ppl signed already ....

Also, yaakov schweky spoke about ppl signing up on a site to stop talking in shul so that when shul reopens ppl should act with respect....no talking during shul...

Mommyg8

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 11:10 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

The magazine article said this was their third child.

The article seemed very clear that paid this upfront and planned on doing the same for subsequent weddings. I don't know... maybe they have a money tree? Or their idea of living paycheck to paycheck is very different than mine.

amother

Blue

Tue, Apr 14 2020, 12:33 am

Ok, missed that about their third child. But even so, to have saved "just" 90k x 3, plus more for future weddings...wow. You're still talking possibly having a million dollars in savings. People who are able to do that, without extremely profitable businesses, even if they live extremely frugally on day old bread etc, are surely in the minority. They certainly didn't make it sound like they had such a high income rolling in....
To me, it seemed that it was deliberately obfuscated. If they somehow managed the savings, or had inherited it, or whatever...why not just say so? Why leave it to be implied? I still find it unlikely.

amother

Indigo

Tue, Apr 14 2020, 12:42 am

watergirl wrote:

The key words you used are “if you can afford it”. This woman from the article cant if she is living paycheck to paycheck.

Re: streilmals - my husband bought his “newest” one on sale about 8 years ago. They go on sale between purim and pesach, he paid $800. It still looks brand new. He takes care of it and wears it only on shabbos/yt. Tell me why a chasson should get 2. Especially because like sheitels, shtreimals have “styles” that change over the years. Getting 2 at once is an extravagant purchase that someone living paycheck to paycheck cant afford. Like her splurge on her diamond bracelet for herself.

Re: kallah jewelry - yes it lasts. But we all know those styles go out super fast as well and kallahs don’t typically get to chose what they receive. I’m sure there are some who continue to enjoy their jewelry years later, but my suspicion is most people have it sitting in a drawer. So while it “lasts”, does not mean that it is still in use. And $13,000 plus for a 20-year-old is obscene. So is 18k for bedroom and dining room furniture - all the mote obscene for someone who claims is living paycheck to paycheck. Yes, I call bull on that claim.

The bologna I called was on her claim that she lives Paycheck to paycheck, not on the cost of the items.

I hate that they wrote they live paycheck to paycheck. I know people who live like that and it's calling spending everything that comes in, not paycheck to paycheck. These are people who own businesses and some months make tens of thousands of dollars and some months they are tight, but whatever comes in they use right then and there, and the yearly total is very high.