OOT modern orthodox community?!

amother

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 10:27 am

Petra wrote:

OP,
If you have family all in one place, nothing beats that! There is no shul or outside community that is worth moving away. That is my opinion. You are right. It is huge to move away from family. But, I wouldn't know. I don't have any family really. I am admittedly jealous of those that do. Also, my other 2 cents. People look for too much out of their community. If you have a few family friends and kids have friends, I would work on growing or strengthening those. And reach out to those that don't necessarily fit your mold. I don't think one every really knows what they are moving into when they move into a community. They only know after they have been living it for a while. And by then, it is too late.

Interesting perspective.. it really is difficult to see what we have and try to imagine what will be in another place. I think we often romanticize what something else will be like and then can be super quite disappointed when things happen aren’t what you thought.

I guess we just feel like this place is so focused on $ and outside things that we just don’t fit in. But I do have my 4 super close friends that I don’t want to leave and my kids have found there few friends too that are just kind down to earth people.

We were wondering if a community exists for us where maybe we can actually have a nice larger home feel the financial burden lifted while also having a warm more down to earth community. But maybe we are wishing for something that doesn’t exist really. And maybe we will be so sad to be without family that it won’t be worth it.. I just don’t know at this point.

But figured it’s a good idea to get info first.

I mean if we could get an updated 4/5 bedroom home someplace for $300k with schools having lower tuition and a warm community maybe it’s worth it to leave ..

On the other ha d Maybe there is no place like that lol

Petra

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 10:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

But I do have my 4 super close friends that I don’t want to leave and my kids have found there few friends too that are just kind down to earth people.

This is more precious than gold!

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I mean if we could get an updated 4/5 bedroom home someplace for $300k with schools having lower tuition and a warm community maybe it’s worth it to leave ..

I'm in an OOT community which is much cheaper than the east coast. However, you sound like you want also MO schools. I'm thinking Dallas, Atlanta, Skokie. In general, MO schools are super expensive. We don't have that where I live and we compromise. We can't afford the price tag of MO and so we never really considered relocating even though we would love to have that. We don't have family that ties us to any one area so moving has been considered.

4/5 bedroom house for 300K? Possible but not plenty.

I'm being a Debby Downer and raining on your parade. Sorry.

On the other hand, your living arrangement is not perfect. Think of it as character building; especially for the kids. (I always marveled at my neighbor growing up; 4 girls in one bedroom, sharing one dresser. One boy in the other bedroom. And one bathroom in the whole house!)

Maybe meet with a financial planner and figure out how to squirrel away some savings despite high expenses and try to be content with what you have.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 10:56 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oy, OP, I wish I could PM you! Southfield really seems just what you’re looking for but I don’t want to out myself or post people’s numbers here without their permission...

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 10:59 am

Petra wrote:

The house I just closed on in Southfield was less than $300k. 4 bedrooms. And more and more are popping up each day.

I am on the other side of Petra on this, I’ve never lived close to family since I’ve been married and it’s made us closer to our friends and neighbors. It’s wonderful to live near my family (and we weren’t able to because of my husbands schooling) but a community in which you can be “yourself” is really important too. If OP is unhappy even though she lives near family, then family isn’t enough to make up for her downsides in her community.

We hope to end up near my mom one day but I have siblings scattered all over the US. It is what it is.

amother

Dodgerblue

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 1:29 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have to say I am glad I asked here because to me I always thought of silverspring as right wing yeshivish which for me the pants wearer would not fit.

What neighborhoods in silvespring are more modern?

Any ideas on housing prices?

There is a mo community in ss, but as is mostly right wing.
Also the mo school and housing are pretty pricey.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 1:57 pm

Have you considered Cleveland? I’m not MO but they have a nice school and seem to have a nice community. Pants wearing isn’t that common from what I see but you definitely wouldn’t be the only one. Plus people are really nice here.

The school is Fuchs Mizrachi and you would probably want to talk with Shoshona Socher (realtor) for advice about houses in University Heights or Beachwood. IMO houses here are nicer than in Detroit.

DallasIma

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 2:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oh ok hadn’t thought of that. We are considering Houston is Dallas similar?

I don't know the Houston community, but we have 2 Eruvim in Dallas proper (there are also Eruvim in a few of the suburbs), and all the Orthodox shuls here (there are a lot of them!) have a wide variety of attendees. I have never seen a more accepting community than this one. My kids did not grow up here so I don't know details about the schools, other than that there are 2 coed MO schools (elementary and high school), and to the "right" of those an Orthodox elementary day school, an Orthodox girls' high school, and an Orthodox boys' high school. Housing prices are very reasonable, particularly in the North Eruv, where I live. We have a great infrastructure as far as kosher restaurants, markets with kosher meat and other kosher food, mikvahs, and basically whatever else you might need. We're in the Southern US so the climate is generally warm (and it does get into triple digits during midsummer) but it can go down into the 20s sometimes during the winter.

amother

Khaki

Sun, Apr 19 2020, 2:20 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Young Israel of Southfield area is much cheaper then the op/sfld area you would be hard pressed to find a house in op/sfld for under 300 that doesn’t need at least 100k put into it. That being said Farber is amazing. You can find tuition on their website fhds.org not sure about middle or highschool but elementary is a bit over 13k (I think haven’t gotten my tuition bill yet) also all the kosher stuff is in the op/sfld area but it’s a short drive and most of ur kids friends will be in yis area so it’s most probably a better fit.