Should the teacher apologise to my daughter?

Ora in town

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 5:36 am

No, not the teacher should apologize. The girl(s) who did it and repeated it should apologize to the teacher, first, and foremost, and also to your daughter. Because her misdeeds landed your daughter in trouble.

So I would explain to the daughter that she should talk to her classmates and tell them that what they did was not cool.

I would also explain to the daughter that what she did in the beginning was not cool either, and if she had stayed clear from the beginning, if she had told her friends from the beginning that messing around was not a good idea, there would probably not be any suspicion on her now.

I think parents should not always go with naughty children who misbehave and then complain about the consequences.

I would invite the teacher to punish the whole class, including your daughter, for doing it from the start.

Last edited by Ora in town on Tue, Apr 28 2020, 5:44 am; edited 1 time in total

Ora in town

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 5:44 am

Did your daughter apologize to the teacher when she did it in the first place?
Did you insist that your daughter apologize to the teacher?

Because it's easier for you to influence your daughter than the teacher.

If you saw no necessity for your daughter to apologize back then, why should you think it is necessary for the teacher to apologize?

Chayalle

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 10:08 am

From a parental perspective, I would not give my daughter the message that she needs to get an apology from the teacher (though it might be appropriate for the teacher to do so.) I think it's unhealthy to give our children the message that they must have apologies from people. It's okay, the issue has been addressed, the teacher has apologized (though she could've done better), so your daughter can move on.

I think Ora has a great point - there were several people here who could do some apologizing, your daughter included. Perhaps a good teaching point for your daughter is that if you were messing around with the board in the past, it opens you up to being accused even when you didn't do it.

amother

Black

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 10:37 am

to amother saddlebrown

TEACHERS ARE IMPATIENT AND HAVE SHAMED MY DAUGHTER NUMEROUS TIMES IN FRONT OF THE CLASS.

MAMA BEAR HAS PUT THEM ON THE DEFENSIVE AND EACH NEW TEACHER BEGINNING OF YEAR GETS THE MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH THIS CHILD.

THERE IS JBFCS jewish board of family and children services and when they speak to the child they file reports to ACS....

Please, please do not ruin a child by making her classmates see her as inferior.

SixOfWands

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 12:25 pm

Ora in town wrote:

So let’s say a student sneaks into the classroom and writes Rebbe Cohen is stupid on the whiteboard. Instead of investigating, Rebbe says Ora’s son, I know it’s you. In front of the class. Your son’s denial is ignored. It happens again. Again, notwithstanding the denial last time, Rebbe Cohen says Ora’s son, we all know it’s you. Denial, again, is ignored.

You’re ok with that continuing? Rebbe Cohen knows he found the culprit, and knows that your son is not only a prankster, he’s a liar. As he’s told the Class. So he’s never looking for the real culprit.

You think it’s a child’s responsibility to question her classmates? Then compel them to apologize?

Btw, note that OP already dealt with her child’s initial misconduct.

SixOfWands

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 12:29 pm

nchr wrote:

This is a good teaching point about how sometimes we may be wrongly accused of things and letting it go doesn't mean that the person was right, but that it doesn't matter enough to create an issue.

It would be an even better teaching point that teachers are not infallible, and when they make a mistake, or falsely accuse others, they will own up to it in the same manner that they expect students to.

Ora in town

Tue, Apr 28 2020, 2:06 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

You did not read the original post properly: The teacher already apologised to the girl, via her father...
The question is whether the mother should force the teacher to apologise one more time, directly to the child.

The poster did not mention that her daughter apologised to the teacher for her misconduct.

The poster did not have the idea that the one creating the problem is the child who did the misdeed.

I do not like this new habit in parent of jumping on the teacher and defending their dear little ones. It makes children sneaky.