I think my 4 year old is depressed because of quarantine

amother

Wed, May 06 2020, 2:54 am

He has been home since school closed 7 weeks ago. He is an only child and has not seen another child his age in all that time. He has barely been out of the house.

He gets daily videos and worksheets from his Morah but does not want to watch them or do them. He is irritable and cranky most of the time and impossible to motivate to do anything. He only wants to watch youtube videos on the computer.

Most alarmingly, it seems as if he talking less and less. Prior to this he was a very expressive and chatty little boy. It seems he has become quiet and withdrawn.

We try to play with him and encourage him to go into our little backyard and kick balls with us. We try to keep positive and upbeat in front of him.

Ladies, I'm freaking out and wondering if its time to take him to a play therapist? Any advice would be so appreciated.

CiCi

Wed, May 06 2020, 3:03 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes. Take him to other 4 year old boy therapists and let them play. That's excellent therapy.

Last edited by CiCi on Wed, May 06 2020, 10:45 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Hotpink

Wed, May 06 2020, 3:06 am

CiCi wrote:

Yes. Take him to other 7 year old boy therapists and let them play. That's excellent therapy.

Did you read her post?
A 7 year old therapist?

CiCi

Wed, May 06 2020, 3:08 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

Did you read her post?
A 7 year old therapist?

I was kidding about 7 year old therapists. He doesn't need therapy. He needs to play with other boys his age otherwise it will stunt his growth!!! That's the "therapy" he needs.

Edit: I should've written year 4 old therapists- I made a mistake regarding the kid's age.

Last edited by CiCi on Wed, May 06 2020, 10:50 am; edited 2 times in total

Elfrida

Wed, May 06 2020, 3:19 am

I think a change of scene and some mild socialization would be worth trying before running to a therapist. Instead of kicking a ball in the backyard, go for daily walks, and don't repeat the same route all the time. Find new things to look at.

Find another family who has been careful, a d see if he can play with their children - outside if you would feel safer.

Institute a daily routine, with specific times delineated for YouTube, and don't allow it any other time. That probably means you will ha e to be very available at other times - see how this would work.

Play therapy via zoom is less effective than in person. If you are thinking of going to a person, try for some semblance of normal life before spending a fortune on therapy, which could well be unnecessary. Everyone is suffering from 'lockdown fatigue'. A four year old had less control than adults.

camp123

Wed, May 06 2020, 3:40 am

Find him a friend. Another family that's being careful. If you just restrict your contact to one other family that's not much difference to being with your own large family all the time. Yes, it carries a risk but so does keeping him alone for so long.

amother

Salmon

Wed, May 06 2020, 7:44 am

Quote:

We try to keep positive and upbeat in front of him.

That sounds as though you yourselves are pretty anxious. Maybe he is picking up on that, but doesn't know how to express it? If you haven't already done this, try to explain on an age appropriate level what is going on. You can tell him that there is a virus which can make us very sick, and that you are worried, and that that is ok. That Hashem is looking after us, but that we also have to do our bit, which is why he can't go to kindergarten and see his Morah at the moment.

Children often pick up on a lot more than we give them credit for. Helping them to understand is often more helpful than empty reassurances that everything will be ok.

amother

Hotpink

Wed, May 06 2020, 7:56 am

CiCi wrote:

I was kidding about 7 year old therapists. He doesn't need therapy. He needs to play with other boys his age otherwise it will stunt his growth!!! That's the "therapy" he needs.

He’s 4, not 7 yrs

amother

White

Wed, May 06 2020, 8:01 am

You must find a way to allow him friends. I kept mine isolated for 5 weeks and I saw it slowly killing him. Coronavirus isn't the only killer around. We now do playmates with one child who's family has been careful, zoom with one close friend at a time, play in the hlway with 1-2 neighbors, with a mask and lots of hand sanitizer and while staying 6 feet away.

This is not a joke to me. My kid became a different person once he was allowed friends. He became alive again.

amother

Rose

Wed, May 06 2020, 8:16 am

No you tube or videos. I find it really messes with kids minds
Keep to a strict schedule. Bedtime and wake time should be normal for his age.
Can he call other ppl like grandparents. Can they tell him a story.
Make sure to get outside every day.

amother

Rose

Wed, May 06 2020, 8:21 am

Also did you discuss why he isn’t going to school. Maybe he is scared.
Torah Umesorah has a website turesponse. The have videos of a morah exposing why there is no school that is great.

mommy3b2c

Wed, May 06 2020, 8:26 am

He doesn’t need a therapist. He needs to play with another 4 year old. Set him up with a play date. Sanitize well before and after and make sure they are both wearing face masks.

Henna12

Wed, May 06 2020, 9:26 am

You should definitely consult with an expert on this- a phone consult would for sure be a good place to start! But in the meantime, I agree with the posters who say let him play with another child whose family has been careful and has been home this whole time. Also, if you haven’t yet, are you able to order new toys and projects for him to play with? I ordered play doh, painting projects, little prizes etc- to break up the monotony. Another idea- offer to let him do things you wouldn’t normally let him do, like make a huge mess with water in the bathroom or make a huge fort with all the pillows and blankets.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, May 06 2020, 9:48 am

Do you have one family member with same age kid that you guys can now quaretine together. I mean there must be someone for him go hang out with that is safe. 1 kid. I know that's not popular opinion but it's not every neighbor and every cousin. Its 1 family to quaretine with...

dankbar

Wed, May 06 2020, 10:00 am

keep him busy with hands on activities & learning so he is occupied & doesn't go crazy & get "farshimelt".
There are so many sites for ideas.
Someone here opened a website for daily activities for preschoolers, try to join. It's free.

Woman of Valor

Wed, May 06 2020, 10:33 am

How much technology does he do per day? Limit to one hour tops. It affects the brain in scary ways. Also, kids should be smiling and laughing throughout the day...try to play social hand games like patacake, etc massage, be silly, say silly things to get him to laugh, make silly voices and faces, sing songs, just spend time cuddling and being together. Do not show anxiety about the pandemic, be matter of fact

CiCi

Wed, May 06 2020, 10:45 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

Did you read her post?
A 7 year old therapist?

You're right- I mixed up the age. She should take him to a 4 year old therapist...

I'm just kidding of course. My point is that the kid needs friends, not therapy.

silverlining3

Wed, May 06 2020, 11:17 am

How long can a little 4 year old entertain themselves and how much can a mom entertain their child??? I just feel for both of you!
My neighbor has a 7 yr old only child, locked in. Lately he's by the window or at most out his door, making all kinds of absurd sounds. It's painful and pitiful!
Hope things get better for you and for everyone out there trying to stay afloat 😘