Party night ended not pleasent

amother

Wed, May 06 2020, 8:24 am

After my sons big birthday celebration ds got upset on dh for dh not wanting to do something that ds asked since was already late and dh needed to go asleep. To make story short. my ds mentioned to my dh that he feels he is following trhough house rules more then his younger brother ,( was comparing himself to his younger brother ) (this child does have certain things he does not obey with certain rules actually ) he sure has reached a milestone with a lot of other things he used to be weaker in. He is a type of child that will feel millions of dollors with praises and compliments.
Now, while he was comparing himself about being much better than his younger brother, (which I dont think is the case) they both are good in different areas, and weak in different areas. Right then, my husband started counting and bringing up all his faults where he is lacking, Ds got very upset, and honestly I dont think this would help him in any way.( younger brother wasnt in sight ) but me and other younger kids . And I didnt feel my dh did the right thing for proving him his faults , instead of complimenting him that he is older, and he is trying, and how far he reached in life my dh started mentioning all faults . This kid is very not good in ever hearing his faults. He always seeks more attention, and wants to be seen as a good child , he is trying tho. He does has areas where he needs to improve, which will be crucial for later in life , but I did not feel he deserved to hear all blames and faults , and it should be mentioned at the moment. I didnt feel it was the right time to bring up where he is lacking in . So, yeah thats how the night ended , the special day of his birthday.

Im asking if im wrong for feeling bad for ds for how my dh reacted , or I should just ignore the whole thing and move on?
It did bother me and with that being I didnt feel it came in to to count his faults. Complimenting always has worked better!

Btw ds is 17

Ora in town

Wed, May 06 2020, 8:53 am

I think your dh just went with an immediate gut reaction, and this was not constructive. So I feel exactly like you... just that it is more constructive not to disprove DS, but to give him what he wants: recognition and reinforcement... So perhaps DH could do so in a calm moment? Anyway, the ship of not telling DS his shortcomings has sailed...