Son only wants to sleep in parents bedroom.

amother

Sun, May 03 2020, 11:16 pm

My 5 1/2 year old is making very hard on us when we put him to sleep . Dh or I put him to sleep early and lay with him in his bed until he falls asleep. He wakes up 11ish each night and refuses to go in his bed , Then me or my dh are so so drained from a full day of hard work , that its impossible for us to go back with him and lay with him in his bed . We pursue him to go in his bed but nothing helps untill we just get tired and he ends up sleeping in our room, Yet it really bothers me . I dont know when and how he will outgrow this and im worried. He is my youngest child , and overall more spoiled, but with this situation we tried so many ways and he only insists to sleep in our room , that sometimes when I wanna do something even special with dh we cannot since he is in our way .
Any tips or ideas that has helped u ? Im very worried he should outgrow this stage tho, I hope its just a stage that'll pass.

amother

Copper

Sun, May 03 2020, 11:24 pm

I had 2 kids coming to our beds every night plus nursing one in my bed already and after a while I said enough.
I told my kids every night whoever stays in bed the entire night and doesmt come to any of our beds in middle of the night gets ice cream the next day. I did that for 3 1/2 weeks every day whoever slept in their bed thru the night got ice cream and til this day they know they cant sleep in our beds
The ice cream worked like a gem it was such a great incentive

amother

Amethyst

Sun, May 03 2020, 11:35 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Love it!
Shabbos morning we used to have a special chocolate treat if you woke mommy between 8-8:30, not before or after.
Guess who was consistently woken between 8-8:30 on Shabbos morning.

chocolate moose

Mon, May 04 2020, 10:16 am

I have a twin sized bed. I never allowed a child in with me; it's not comfortable for anyone.

What you allow, is what will be.

Don't put him to bed early. Don't lie down in his room with him. Make sure he is sufficiently tired, has sufficient attention - stories, etc. and lock your door.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, May 04 2020, 10:45 am

chocolate moose wrote:

Agree. There are a lot of bad habits that were formed.

Don’t stay with him till he’s asleep. Why are you doing that? At 5 he needs tonknlw joe to fall alslee on his own. No wonder he comes to you when he wakes up later: he was taught to rely on you to fall asleep. Of course you are tired later. Everyone is tired. But if you want a change you have to make one. Start walking him back to his room, to his bed. You’re a big boy. Big boys sleep in their own beds, tell him.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, May 04 2020, 11:21 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Huh. I wonder how you would deal with dd who wakes up in my bed with no memory of going there.

challahchallah

Wed, May 06 2020, 11:36 pm

I agree the way to change this is to start with changing the bedtime routine. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. If he falls asleep nice and cozy with a parent, of course he’ll come looking for you when he wakes up.

I think this in addition to the bribery others have mentioned will go a long way.

Ema of 5

Wed, May 06 2020, 11:40 pm

I have this with my almost 4 year old as well. After Chanukah I bought her a stop light lamp, the one that changed from red (can’t get out of bed) to green (can get out of bed) and I let her pick it so I knew it would be one she liked. It worked great until the end of January, when she got the flu and was sleeping all day and all night. Now she won’t go back to her bed. I can’t even get her to go to sleep in her own bed most nights. I would love to be consistent, but half the time when she came into my bed, I didn’t even realize until I woke up in the morning. I can’t lock the door when I go to sleep, because my husband comes up much later than I do. I mostly don’t care if she’s in my bed, and I know she will outgrow it eventually, but it’s really bothering my husband.
Oh, and if I don’t stay with her until she falls asleep, she shrieks bloody murder. She doesn’t just yell or scream, she shrieks. And she can go for hours....