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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Torn about what to do



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 6:07 pm
I have a VERY close relative getting married on lag b'omer locally in a state that has been low incidence and is starting to open up. So far I've been given a heter that *my husband and I* can go. My elderly mother was told she CAN go, if she sits away from everyone. The question is now my kids. Ranging in ages 9 to infant. The kicker is that the "other side" is from a hot spot, they had it before pesach, but according to my sources they were given a heter enough to go through with the wedding. I was told to ask my own shaila about my own kids--who have seen these relatives, spoken with them, and we have come within 6 ft of each other. They are relatively shy and wouldn't go near people they don't know. They have been looking forward to this chasuna for a lot longer since this person even got engaged. I am planning on asking the shaila tonight, but to what extent is it a "bad idea"? Am I playing with fire? I'm so tired of all this. It has been killing me that I have not been able to be part of this simcha. If we are told that they can't go, what am I supposed to do? Its not like I can get a babysitter.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 7:55 pm
I would not tacke the c hance
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amother
Blue


 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 7:57 pm
I would think that if a different state is lifting restrictions, they're not doing it so people from different states should come.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 8:05 pm
I had a close wedding and left kids behind. By a family that was in the same situation I was, at that time. But it was when things were worse. Now it's alot better but not sure about kids. Having another close wedding after shvous and I think kids won't attend either. Not even talking about it to them. I feel so bad
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 8:12 pm
Maybe one spouse and older kids can go?
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 8:47 pm
avrahamama wrote:
Maybe one spouse and older kids can go?

If it's not a sibling or in-law, wedding is in town u live, and you don't wanna take along your kids, perhaps divide with your hub. You go one half and then he goes
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 9:02 pm
Look if your state is opening up and your kids are going back to school and you are going out in public than a small wedding isnt so different and you will be exposed to people whatever you do. If you are planning oj staying socially distancing besides the wedding than I would skip or just go and say mazel tov.
I personally would not want to be one testing if its safe to go out again and wait until a few weeks of restrictions opening and see what happens .
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 11:35 pm
The state is opening in phases and group of "up to 25" is legal, I dont' know what the #s are right now. School is not opening up state-wide for the rest of the year. I'm not sure what the "split" would be--there's only the chuppah and I assume minimal dancing. The kallah is someone my kids have been close to. We've gone on walks and my kids have been pretty good about social distancing. I just don't know how to do this without them. Even if they know where I am and they cant go, they will feel very bad about missing it.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Thu, May 07 2020, 11:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The state is opening in phases and group of "up to 25" is legal, I dont' know what the #s are right now. School is not opening up state-wide for the rest of the year. I'm not sure what the "split" would be--there's only the chuppah and I assume minimal dancing. The kallah is someone my kids have been close to. We've gone on walks and my kids have been pretty good about social distancing. I just don't know how to do this without them. Even if they know where I am and they cant go, they will feel very bad about missing it.


25 people... including family, Mesader kedushin, eidim, photographer. Are you sure they want to devote some precious spot to your kids? If so I’d say they are very close and take them to the wedding
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